Dear Lord in Heaven,*Not that i believe in thee….heheh*
Why am I still up at this hour??????????????????????????? Going on 99 hours awake now, god this does suck.
Is it me or does this whole thing kind of rhyme????
WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME YIU DINT KNOW HOW IT HURTS IT HURTS YOURE HURTING ME BUT YOURE TRYING TO HELP YOURE HURTING ME YOURE HURTING ME YOURE HURTING ME YOURE HURTING WHY WHY WHY WHY DONT YOU UNDERSTAND WHY WHY WHY WHY YOU COME IN SHOUTING AT ME SAYING “what’s going on? What’s going on?” BUT I DONT KNOW. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND. YOURE HURTING ME YOURE DRIVING ME CLOSER ANS CLOSER THOUGH YOURE TRYING TO HELP AND I APPRECIATE IT BUT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE FUCK OFF. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND SO DONT INTERVENE. PLEASE LET ME BE. YOU COME IN SCREAMING IT HURTS. WHY DO YOU OVER REACT AND HURT ME WHY WHY WHY. YOU MADE CRY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY????????!!!!!! IM IN SO MUCH AGONY RIGHT NOW BECAUSE OF YOU WHY DID YOU HURT ME SO BADLY WHY?????? Why why why why whyyyyy???? I’m hurting so much right now because of you mum.
U know dont you?how is to be pressured
Im lost, when i has 8 i promissed to myself that i would live at least to 20
My family has never seen me crying, i have holding it for years u know?
I have 18 now… but, im so afraid of living, everything is soo hard to me handle alone
Ive trying until now, im thinking in finally give me the eternal dream
Oh God forgive me…
Its better like this, ive never been strong enough.
Fuck sake. First this is my fault. Do you remember P.Y from most my other posts. She was my girlfriend. The last thing keeping me a part of this world and i fucked her up with being suicidal. Now we broke up and she has a new boyfriend but has still been having sex with me. I know i fucked up there to but it gets worse. I told a few people trying to figure out what to do and im sure one of them will tell her that i told them. She would never even want to see me again if that happend. Its getting more and more fucked up as the days go on. I wasnt sure if i should of done it tonight but now im deffinitly going to fuck it… I cant get the guilt from what ill do to people out of my head. But i dont even fucking care anymore im going evenchally. Lets just speed up that up a bit. I still love you even if it seems like i dont sorry for being a dick ???????? goodbye forever. Im sorry for this.
Relized i dont have any friends and that no one cares about me. Religion always makes me question myself. I like a guy who will never like me back. Parents fighting constantly. Mother always dramatic. Dad always to childish. Cousin acts like hes all grown up. Everyone forgot my birthday even my parents until i told them. Might have cancer. Cutting myself. Tryed getting help but it didnt help in anyway . homophobic friend. Ughh… Why so many problems? Why isnt there a end?
This is just what i think in my head… I just wrote what i was thinking at that moment but please help me.. -brian m. R.
Well… Im back i guess thats a bad thing…how can i get this suicidle feelings off my chest?!? How can i be straight ?! ???????? i know thats never gonna happen .. So why do I still wish it?!?! Being bisexual is a curse…..why did i have to fall in “love” with my best friend since 3ed grade?!? Fuck i cant…. Should i just forget about him ?!? Should i kill my self?!? Should i run away again?!? Should i just admit it to my whole school ?? I dont know anymore..should i just be myself… What a mad world. Or how can i act striaght or be straight. Help just help me please anyone!!!!!
Please log in to report posts