Tag:

2 years

Healing

by jrmeador94 4/4/2016

written by jrmeador94

My depression was triggered 2 years ago by trauma.

Trauma can be anything to different people.

Mine was having sex with a random stranger. And for the first time.

My DBT therapist once said it takes a traumatized brain 18 months to heal.

In 2 years I have gone back to the trauma of hooking up for a total of 147 times.

I have idealized suicide many times. This included staring at an intersection of speeding cars, and a slab of marble 5 stories below me.

I have begged for the pain to stop for 2 years…

And I am starting to heal.

If you are hurting, traumatized, desperate […]

4/4/2016 1 comment

How to move on……

by EvilOni22 4/1/2016

written by EvilOni22

The pain is still here. I can drown it out. I can muffle it. But I’m just a shell of a person wandering around. Withdrawn to where it feels more than awkward to be out and around people when it wasn’t so before. Opening back up on command isn’t as easy as shutting down anymore. Desire to end things lingers as well and always has. Thoughts of such are being provoked more often than not now. What do you do when you feel that you have more reason to leave than to stay? Given life more than a chance just existing for the past 2 […]

4/1/2016 3 comments

I can’t think of a title, so let’s just pretend it was brilliant.

by Cordless 3/8/2016

written by Cordless

I go into the hospital tomorrow morning for some tests.

One of them is a dexamethasone suppression test to see if I have Cushing’s Disease, the other is to see if I still have Osteomalacia. (Not osteoporosis but osteomalacia).

I’ll find out the results next week, plus I’m hoping they’ll start investigating the tumor in my head which showed up on the x-ray about 2 years ago. (Yeah, they’re taking their time with that for some reason).

If the worst-case scenario happens with the tumor, I may not even have to worry about suicide after all.. my body will self-destruct all on its own.

Still can’t decide whether that […]

3/8/2016 62 comments

Times like this

by alina_01 2/22/2016

written by alina_01

really bring out the darkness inside me. I try so fucken hard to excel to be a better person in spite of all the fucked up things that are my life. I try to be more understanding, forgiving, helpful, kind but GOD WTF is the point?!!!! People abuse the fuck out of that!!! WHY!??? I’m tired of trying to be the exception of trying to be one of the good people left but it is truly exhausting and hard and I want to give in. Seriously fuck it I’ll just be a selfish asshole like everyone else in the world. I have feelings for someone […]

2/22/2016 5 comments

Oh the scars…

by TheRoadSoFar 2/20/2016

written by TheRoadSoFar

I cut (yet again) about 3 hours ago after 2 years of having gotten over it. Yeah, it sucks… I did it in the middle of a party. I was the only depressed asshole there and no one noticed or gave a damn.

So… yeah… how much time does it take for a scar to heal?

2/20/2016 4 comments

Back to reality

by Drowning 2/13/2016

written by Drowning

went to the cinema tonight to watch dead pool which is a awesome film for all u marvel fans out there now back to reality down thinking about how life sucks I really do hate reality so much I can stand it which is why I’m a alcoholic ( I haven’t drank in 2 years ) and smoked weed since 14 til 21 so now I just have to sit here with my own company which I hate depressed and numb of meds Life sucks

2/13/2016 2 comments

Why

by God_Forsaken 2/1/2016

written by God_Forsaken

I’m 19 and have a full time job as an apprentice in a good company. That’s about the only positive thing in my life. I have just moved into a new house. With my family. With my psychotic, alcoholic mother that beats me, screams at me. I’m the one that moved us in. I’m crying in my new room because she baught vodka while my dad and brother were out. I took it away and threw it away. So she beat me. I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years last week because my depression has prevented me from being happy for many months […]

2/1/2016 1 comment

Wanting to die for 20 years

by SheWantedToGoBlind 12/22/2015

written by SheWantedToGoBlind

What is it in people that keep them around? I see so much suffering, grief. Awful things- and I think- why do they keep on going? Why don’t they just end the misery?
Why haven’t I ended the misery. I’ve tried to be optimistic. These feelings will pass, the vice will loosen it’s grip upon my neck. And it does, for short while. But, for the past 2 years, the pain has been ever present. The desire to disappear grows with each hour. I look for a cure, for a reason to stay, but cannot find one.

12/22/2015 5 comments

by Whateverbell 12/8/2015

written by Whateverbell

Step one of five has been completed. My death date is January 9th. The same date as my birthday. My first step was to leave school. Well technically I got kicked out/academic probation but I didn’t tell anyone that. As far as everyone knows (including my family) I’m transferring to another school. I couldn’t tell anyone that I’m getting kicked out. I’m not blaming anybody for everything I did wrong and why i didn’t do well. I just don’t know what happened. I was doing so well with school and making straight A’s for the first 2 years. And I don’t even want to blame […]

12/8/2015 2 comments

Hard to be Thankful

by JustReallySad 11/27/2015

written by JustReallySad

So yesterday was Thanksgiving here in the U.S. This last year (really the last 2 years) have been really bad for me, so I’m having a hard time feeling thankful/grateful about anything. Does anyone else on this site feel the same way? Also, how do any of you find things to be grateful for? I appreciate any and all suggestions.

11/27/2015 14 comments

Happy

by PandaMonkey0207 11/22/2015

written by PandaMonkey0207

I’m finally happy with my life…

Leaving a perfectly good and healthy relationship because my family didn’t like him. I listen to them. I listen to all the lies they put in my head. It wasn’t him who made me depressed and started to cut. It was the build up of all the pressure and stress my own family put on me. Him and I were together for 2 years, yes we argued but what we had was one of a kind. I could never find anything like it. When I left I tried to find love in other men but they always hurt me […]

11/22/2015 4 comments

Need your thoughts, since I cannot ask people in “real life”… Please, fellow human beings, give me your thoughts.

by freedomseeker 11/2/2015

written by freedomseeker

Hey guys, I’ve been writing quite frequently here for a few weeks/months. Something has been troubling my life and I don’t know what to think about it, how I should feel about it, I don’t know what it is and I was thinking that maybe your thoughts might help me. I don’t need any psychologist’s or any doctor’s thoughts. Just thoughts from/by fellow human beings. As long as it is sincere, it is perfect. Here the “troubling thing”:

I haven’t really identified myself as a lesbian. The people I fell in love with have always been men. Sexually I’m stil more attracted to men. I am […]

11/2/2015 8 comments

Hi..

by IsleyOfTheNorth 10/17/2015

written by IsleyOfTheNorth

Yeah, thats just all im gonna say too lazy too late to type properly sorry just thoughts flowing. This is my first post although i visited this site for like about 2 years never felt the urge to post only to read stories of other people but i saw many nice people around here and i figured i want to help people too but at the moment im just feeling so damn hopeless im sorry for bugging…. i guess i post from now on regulary if you dont mind suicide Community.

10/17/2015 26 comments

I HATE SUPPORT GROUPS

by A Fairy from the Past 10/7/2015

written by A Fairy from the Past

Irony right? I’m in this one. I’ve been here for the past 4 years, but naturally people won’t even notice me (different account i’m using now so you can’t find me). It’s like that even with real life support groups or other online ones I’ve been to. People just don’t care. I’ve been in one for 1 1/2 years and the other for 3 years. And whilst I’ve made many friends, they’ve stopped caring about me. They don’t even notice me anymore. When we’re alone, they either make an excuse and leave or just sit there awkwardly with headphones and work/read. I try to talk with them, […]

10/7/2015 2 comments

I Have Returned

by LivingQuietly 9/20/2015

written by LivingQuietly

Hello, whoever uses this site.
A few years ago, I used to post here. Sometimes quite regularly. I’m sat by myself in an empty room, and something possessed me to re-read all my old posts and I thought, why not update my life a little. I’m sure all the people who used this site when I did are gone, maybe even dead. But I do hope that there are still people here.
It’s been almost 2 years and one of the main changes in myself, is that I am appalling at explaining my feelings and emotions now. I am slightly jealous of my old selfs […]

9/20/2015 11 comments

#SuckMyFuckLife

by MaybeImAlreadyGone 9/2/2015

written by MaybeImAlreadyGone

okay, so my last post was really positive! But this one isn’t going to be!

ever just have one of them days where even being in someone’s company annoys you but you can’t stand to be alone?

I chose to eat a lot this morning, I used to comfort eat a lot! but then my head just went. So made it all come back out, I made myself sick until I felt weak. Until my belly burned.

Then I went into my room and self harmed. I was doing so fucking well but today I lost it! Worst part is I didn’t even cry! I felt no emotion […]

9/2/2015 2 comments

Just when I thought all was over

by IBeBlue808 8/24/2015

written by IBeBlue808

Hello to whoever is reading this,

Two years ago I posted a suicide note on this website with the sincere belief that I would be dead within a week of posting it. But, I guess things don’t always go as planned. The day I planned on doing it, I realized that I couldn’t do it. Whether it was me being too weak, too scared or just too depressed to even follow through with my last plan, I just didn’t end up dead.

I don’t know what stopped me, but I am thankful for it. 2 years later, my life has turned around.

Now don’t get me wrong, I […]

8/24/2015 17 comments

2 years later, im okay.

by donewithexistence 8/1/2015

written by donewithexistence

this stuff is all so behind me now, im okay.

8/1/2015 7 comments

It’s time to go..

by Dusty96 8/1/2015

written by Dusty96

I’ve received alot of love in my time here on this website. I appreciate all the love given my way. None of you know me, but I might as well say that I have decided I will take my life. I don’t know when, but I will. It seems so peaceful. I’m at peace with the decision as well. I think it is what’s best for me, to be honest. I’ve had too much happen to me in 2 years and I’m left with no will/desire to live. I’m going to try to enjoy the time I have here left with friends and then I’m […]

8/1/2015 18 comments

2 years

by nomorepain461 7/22/2015

written by nomorepain461

so i am thinking about breaking up with my girlfriend of 10 years to focus on finding a good job with my education. She is all i had. trust me i wont find someone else to love me. just trust me (just trust me). I am focused on finding a good job soon, or im ending my life. Its that simple. if i find a job, i will contact her. she is not focused on a job, and it is hurting me to stay with her right now. im totally alone. i want to live, so im giving myself 2 years to find a good […]

7/22/2015 1 comment

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