My depression was triggered 2 years ago by trauma.
Trauma can be anything to different people.
Mine was having sex with a random stranger. And for the first time.
My DBT therapist once said it takes a traumatized brain 18 months to heal.
In 2 years I have gone back to the trauma of hooking up for a total of 147 times.
I have idealized suicide many times. This included staring at an intersection of speeding cars, and a slab of marble 5 stories below me.
I have begged for the pain to stop for 2 years…
And I am starting to heal.
If you are hurting, traumatized, desperate to end the madness… There is hope. A distant beacon of hope that will wax and wane, and ultimately reach you.
Hold on to your beating heart. The anguished emotions. The fractured mind. And step forward. Breathe. And keep your eyes on hope.
You are never alone.
Speak, and we will rally behind you. Seek help and someone will guide you through the darkness.
Remember that you are worthy of love. And no matter what the voices tell you, you are worth it.