Hey guys, I guess you can say that I am new to this website, although I have read quite a few posts here. Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone would like to talk? I am feeling worthless, and nobody really cares about me. You know, I am the girl who everyone thinks is super happy and joyful. I am good at faking smiles. And I am just really sick of it, and I want to cut myself but I don’t want anyone to see how weak I am. And, well, I am just not feeling well. So, is there anyone feeling the same way who would like to talk? I don’t really know how this works but I guess you can just send me a message on here and we could chat. I am 15 years old if you were wondering. Well I think that was everything for now, thanks and, uhm, see you later?
Escape. That’s what we desire. Want. Who doesn’t need to be wanted? This is our shot.
The reason we feel so empty and vile about ourselves isn’t our fault, it’s our
environment. We are one and the same and we need to take steps to stay alive. That’s
why I’m leaving to roam the country, feel free and alive again…like I did before and
I’m inviting any of you to join me. All we need is each other. There is unity in who
we are. We may be the black sheep, the broken hearted, the crazy psychos. But we are
also the explorers, the innovators, the care free, and the loving. We got one life to
live and maybe we feel so down because we aren’t living it. I already have a car, I plan
on getting a different vehicle before I leave. This will all happen within the next
month to 3 months at the max. Currently I am only going to bring along people 18+. I just would
love some companions on my journey. With nothing to hold us back, There is a place out
there for us all, we just need to find it. Whether you string along with me until the
end or you find where you want to be in a small little town you’re free to come or go
as you please. We won’t struggle, I know how to survive this kind of life as I’ve done
it before. If you don’t have a committment to your children there is no reason for you
to say no to coming with me, for you have no obligations. Hold my hand and know that
there are brighter days for all of us. It’s just on you take this opportunity to embrace
it. I know I’ve decided and I am. This will be in America, but if you are from another
country, we can always try to get you here. Truth is I’ve felt the same as everyones
posts I been reading and it makes me sad. We are all so full of potentional and we
could change the world it’s just that we don’t feel good mentally. I don’t want us to
die I want us to be together. We really are one, and we’ll go from place to place, telling
and making new stories, meeting new people, helping others, looking for a place to call
home, listening to our music, hopping trains, fishing for food, camping, driving down
abandoned roads at 90 mph, read books under the stars, party with strangers, exploring
places people rarely see, and sharing it all with the people we care about. I’m inviting
you all to a new lifestyle. I’m inviting you all to the TRLT legacy. The Road Less
Traveled= TRLT. Don’t give up on life, love rewards love, and anything that endures for
a shorter time than the soul does is incapible of satisfying the soul. Well these memories
will last forever. TRLT Legacy.
Tonight, I am planning to kill myself. I have planned many times to but I have held back because of what seemed like people who cared or the sacredness of what people would think if I failed. Tonight, however, ends all of this. To if you were my friend or you call yourself a friend of mine, I am sorry, but you should have known this was coming. To my family aside from my adoptive mom, I am sorry. To my teachers and other adults, why could not have done something. I know you guys have seen my cuts and scars. Some of you have even heard parts of my story, but no, you did not try anything more than a talk, if that was even it. To the people that might have brought me to this, like the person who raped me and the people who would bully me, I hope you don’t do this to anyone else. Tonight, if I somehow see tomorrow, I shall try agian and agian until I successfully die. Who knows what will be next, another side or my body decomposing into the earth while I am forgotten. Most of you will forget about me in a week or two, some it might take a month. A year with the very few, but with the people who make it to two years, you are remembering nothing at all. Don’t focus on what you believe who I was because I was not who I seemed to be on the outside. That focus will only bring out what you thought was my happiness which was really me already dead inside with a shell on top. I am sorry if you “cared” about me, even though you did not. Goodbye world. Goodbye.
It seems like forever since I’ve been on this website, and I pity myself for needing to come back, for needing to vent about something that never leaves, the follows me as close as my own shadow.
This feeling, this dreaded feeling is back, and as I try, day by day, to push it to the back of my mind, all it does is grow, feeding off my happiness.
I’m upset, so upset that it seems that all is going well, yet this feeling won’t allow me to feel joy, to feel anything besides remorse. I want to be the one who is always smiling, not just externally, but internally too.
There’s no way to avoid this feeling, no way to diminish it, so I might as well welcome it.
So here I am, welcoming the ending, with shaking arms and a flooded heart.
Maybe when I’m engulfed by this feeling, I won’t feel anything anymore.
People say only cowards kill themselves…they need a way out so they take their own lives. That’s not true people have so many problems when they hit bottom you would think the only way to go from there is up. Some people like myself mentally and physically can’t we don’t see no were to go…we once had a thing that pushed us to live, but that thing is no longer there. I’m going to be honest I think about killing myself at least once a day. To be honest again if I knew how many pills to take then I would be already gone…I don’t want to wake back up I want to be gone. That’s why most kids today have not killed themselves they are afraid to wake back up. We go day by day thinking why would god put me in this life? Why would he suffer me like this? God loves all his children he gives us a path and we have to choose it…he want’s no matter what for us to live no matter what we are going through. That’s the amazing thing about humans we are born to fight. If you are like me I keep everything held in I don’t like to talk about my problems, it usually all builds up until I have a breaking point. I am at my breaking point now…I may not even be here tomorrow. People say that they are here for us and people love and will miss us but they don’t process the fact that once we are gone they will remember but like everything else they will forget…the love they had for us will still be there but the pain won’t hurt them after time passes…I know what all you guys are going through believe me I know. I am 15 and have a lot of life ahead of me but what I want most out of the world is not to live that life I want to be gone.
The longer i stand here,
the louder the silence,
i know that you’ve gone,
but sometimes i swear that i hear,
your voice when the wind blows,
so i talk to the shadows,
hoping you might be listening,
because i want you to know…
it’s so loud inside my head,
with words that i should have said.
as i drown, in my regrets,
i can’t take back,
the words i never said,
i never said.
Words- Skylar Grey