Tag:

4 years

that’s it ! I can’t bear it anymore…..

by Anonymous.loner777 1/18/2017

written by Anonymous.loner777

hello, i don’t want any suggestions or counselling. I’m really strong for not needing such advisory services.

OK, so let me start…

I have this best friend, whom I fell in love with, after 4 years of being best-friends with her. We used to share everything amongst us. Falling for her was never intentional. In the later stages of 4th year, her behaviour towards me changed a lot, i don’t know what happened. I never realised that I fell in love with her. She knew this very well. After some months, she told me to focus on studies, and not get into it.

Since then, I can’t get […]

1/18/2017 2 comments

Where is the suicide button?

by BethChilds 4/20/2016

written by BethChilds

You ever just wish there was a button that would end it all? I would have been dead a long time ago. I would be dying right now. My life just kind of hit the fan. I’m 32, my girlfriend/fiance of 4 years just broke up. I was a complete asshole so deserve the pain I am feeling right now. I think this must be the most depressed I have ever been. And I’ve been in the hospital 3 times for attempts…major failure at death apparently. I feel so utterly depressed about my situation that my mind is even too clouded to think seriously about […]

4/20/2016 6 comments

Purpose in Life

by lxmyrick 2/29/2016

written by lxmyrick

To let you all know that think about suicide that life is for a reason. I have suffered from brain cancer and depression; and I thought that my life was worthless. But I started to see a therapist and I took medicines. Now I am in school and I help anyone with common issues.
So I was 5 years old and I was told that I had cancer. I have had lots of treatment, with medicine with lots of needles. So I had 4 years of treatment and I have been in remission ever since. Then after being a 6 years cancer survivor, I started […]

2/29/2016 3 comments

by Drowning 2/21/2016

written by Drowning

I just don’t know anymore everyday seems to be more of a struggle how do people live years with suicidal thoughts ? I started having them like 4 years ago and last year I started to act on them in not afraid of dying no more I’m more afraid of living right now it’s kind of sad well I guess this is how my story meant to go and I’m ok with that I think in my life iv had more down days then up days and last year was the loneliest year of all and to be honest the loneliness is killing me more […]

2/21/2016 4 comments

Support

by NicoleK 2/19/2016

written by NicoleK

I know it’s hard to take me. I have to live with me don’t I? My youth pastor and best friend are really good about dealing with my intensity, to my face anyway. But I get the sense that they are sick of hearing the same garbage with no change. Don’t they know I’m sick of feeling the same garbage every day too? I speak up every couple weeks, because I can’t take being so alone anymore. I ask for prayer not advice, and I don’t ask to talk about it. I just let them know my head isn’t right. They say they don’t know […]

2/19/2016 3 comments

Stuck.

by scythe 11/4/2015

written by scythe

I’ve been stuck in the same place for almost 4 years now. I’m a 26 year old male who graduated college 4 years ago. I never knew what I wanted to do with my life but went to college simply because I thought I was supposed to. Since then I’ve been working at a lowly part time dead end job and living with my parents. I’ve looked for work on and off for 4 years now but with my lack of direction and focus I’ve had zero luck. Lately my motivation has been lacking as well, why put all that effort into something […]

11/4/2015 3 comments

Depressed

by fearandhatred 10/13/2015

written by fearandhatred

i was so depressed and stressed that i made myself sick. i was in and out of the doctor for 4 years. i was throwing up almost everyday for 4 years. i had an ulcer. i had headaches all day and night. i was so depressed that i became sick. it is a sickness but i did not realize my depression was the reason for my illnesses. i thought i was dying, i thought something was really wrong with me when in reality it was just my mind. it was me making myself sick and in a way i new it. i figured if i […]

10/13/2015 4 comments

how do I help?

by onlyoption 10/8/2015

written by onlyoption

so ive been on autopilot to deal with depression for the last 4 years, but now with counselling and therapy I’m starting to come back to life. I’m noticing my feelings and the feelings of people around me. I look at my friend and she is just like I was, apart from shes not on auto pilot, shes feeling every ounce of pain and hopelessness. everything in my body wants to go over there and hold her, and tell her something, make the pain go away, cry with her, so she doesn’t feel so alone. but what do you say? what do you do? we […]

10/8/2015 3 comments

The cover isnt the story

by Cro0kedYoung 10/4/2015

written by Cro0kedYoung

I guess I don’t know my ‘friends’ as well as I thought I did. they all seem to be bitching about me in a group chat I’m no longer in. Now I know I shouldn’t have gone snooping through ones messages but i had an iffy feeling and it just gives me more of a reason to end things. They’re all talking shit. This including my best friends of 4 years and a guy that I’ve known for just a year. I thought I meant more, but I’m glad I know what they think of me and that I know they’re just pretending to love […]

10/4/2015 4 comments

My first post and thanks to you

by Matel 9/1/2015

written by Matel

I wanted to say hi to all of you and wanted you to know that you are the most understanding people I know, and I’m grateful that you people exist and this website exists as well.

I also want to say that I’m definitely not here to encourage people or discuss methods or anything alike. I just want to be part of this community to share our feelings/experiences together. Together we will feel less lonely I believe.

I have been reading SP every now and then for the last 4 years, as the idea of suicide has been with me for that amount of time. My anxiety/depression […]

9/1/2015 9 comments

It’s Not Temporary

by MentallyWeak 7/19/2015

written by MentallyWeak

Do you ever hear people say, “It’s okay. It’ll all get better.” Or “It’s only temporary.” And “Stay Strong.”

I’ve heard those phrases so many times in my life, it never really motivates me at all to keep going. Honestly, I feel like people only say that, just because they don’t have anything else to say that’ll actually make a difference. I’m glad I’ve found this website because, writing how I feel is far better than telling a “friend” how I feel. I’m about to be a Junior in high school and sometime during my Sophmore year, I texted a friend that I’ve known for 4 […]

7/19/2015 2 comments

Excelsior

by polaroidnat 6/1/2015

written by polaroidnat

Ive recently been diagnosed with manic depression. I’ve been reading the posts on here for the last few months. About 2 years ago I tried to kill myself by hanging and was nearly successful. I was unconscious and found by paramedics which is unfortunate. I’ve been battling with my depression for some time now and have had a partner on and off for the last 4 years. The support I’ve received from my friends and so called partner is diabolical. I know my parents will miss me especially my mum and I am so sorry and love you with all my heart. I just can’t […]

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6/1/2015 4 comments

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what happened (no offence to anyone)

by kukushafeek 5/11/2015

written by kukushafeek

i made my SP account recently but ive been visiting this site for more than 4 years.. this site had amazing conversations and people were really socializing and the posts had not less then 20 comments however depressed or suicidal you were people would cheer you and be friendly now i see posts going without comments and no socializing this place was like a big family what happened???

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5/11/2015 9 comments

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How long have you been depressed and when did you first start getting treated for it?

by gwerg 5/9/2015

written by gwerg

I’ve been extremely depressed for 4 years now (basically my entire teenage life) and have yet to seek any medical attention, like an idiot. So out of curiosity, how long have you been depressed, when did you start getting therapy and how has it been so far? Will be looking forward to every response. I am extremely depressed and closed to the edge but I doubt anything will truly help me.

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5/9/2015 6 comments

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i cant take it anymore

by idgafam 4/26/2015

written by idgafam

I don’t know how to handle life and all the feeling that come with it anymore. Every morning I wake up with anxiety and deal with it all day and I lay in bed for hours wishing I could just stay asleep forever. I don’t know what ive become, ive pushed all of my friends and family away. I don’t know how to talk to people, but most of all im so lonely and heartbroken, and I have been for so long. every girl I meet once she gets to really know me she runs away from me. the first girl I ever had a relationship […]

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4/26/2015 7 comments

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It’s been 4 years.

by thepainter 2/28/2015

written by thepainter

Still struggling. All this time.

I managed to get my life together. I thought I would be happier with a job. With animals. With a boyfriend. It just goes to show you ignoring depression doesn’t work. Now I have more responsibilities.and still want the same. Death. I have been thinking about it more and more. A familiar face. My boyfriend’s apology. And I’m sucked in. UNleash these thoughts and then it is endless for hours and hours, just thinking and researching and wondering. I talk myself out of it at the end of the day. I lose hours and hours to it then. A sick fascination with […]

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2/28/2015 1 comment

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The Hopeless Child

by nobody special 2/27/2015

written by nobody special

Ever since I was born, I have always been a shy person. I would try to ignore my own feelings to help others. In fact, I was forced to at such a young age since my friends were all a few months younger than me. Therefore, since I was the eldest, I was the one who got reprimanded and to my young mind, did everything wrong. This idea was reinforced by my mother shouting at both me and my dad a lot. My dad and her yelled at each other every night. They tried to hide it from me, but I was a poor sleeper. […]

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2/27/2015 2 comments

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A dead future

by Lsari 2/6/2015

written by Lsari

It is a strange thing to look back upon one’s past and find that all the hopeless despair that one had envisioned for one’s self, to be found true. Worse still, to be it greater.

My first memories were from when I was 7 years old. Ever since then I have regularly wanted to die. Without break or pause, that sentiment has held as true as the flesh on my body (as scared as it may be). I had long since, premonitioned my demise and I can’t help but feel abhorrent at its truth.

I can’t even begin to describe the shear loneliness and despair that has consumed me. It […]

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2/6/2015 5 comments

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Where to begin…

by WaitAndBleed 1/8/2015

written by WaitAndBleed

….the end. Hopefully soon.

cut myself for the first time in 4 years yesterday.Spend most days drunk on alcohol/valium or both yet still going to work but it’s getting harder. The fact I get a train doesn’t help, it would be easy to jump in front of one cause I get plenty of option to but hey, I don’t wanna fuck up their lives by hitting me.

wanting to throw myself downstairs daily is so frustrating, other people seem to be happy! What the fuck is that?

Im glad they are but i’m just wondering how that feels!

I wanted a gun, but in the UK it’s pretty difficult. […]

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1/8/2015 1 comment

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Feeling depressed again – just wrote what was on my mind

by NotSorry 1/3/2015

written by NotSorry

It’s been awhile. Honestly I try to avoid this site whenever I start feeling better, because while this support group is really amazing and it’s the only place I can be honest and completely open up, it’s also depressing. But here I am again. I guess the thing about depression is that it gets better and it gets worse but it never really goes away.

Like most people here I have depression, but for about 4 years now I’ve been hiding it. I told my mom once and she said – ‘Do you even know what depression is?’ and then she dismissed it and never mentioned it again, now […]

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1/3/2015 2 comments

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