What are you “addicted” to?
Me:
1) Internet (random surfing, reading, videos) – bleeds $$ as they recently jacked up my rate 🙁
2) Kindle (games) – bleeds $$
3) Cursing – free 😛
Tag:
Addictions
So, as I was sitting here I got to thinking and started going over my habits and addictions and thought I would share. I’m obsessed with chap stick, not eating it but just sitting there and running it over my lips idk why. I ALWAYS pick apart my pizza and hamburgers. 95% of the time I use bowls to eat out of and spoons. (Now some gore ones) *WARNING* ? ? ? I’m obsessed with picking at my scabs and I love the feeling of blood running down my body. I have an addiction to the burning of alcohol and smoke on my throat. I […]
As of right now, I’m at the bottom of the pit. If you look at my charts, I should be doing okay. But I feel so utterly depressed. I haven’t smoked weed or cigarettes in a month, and I’m not abusing my medicine. I’m also seeing a therapist and have hung out with my friends more often. Well, my clean friends that is.
Of course there’s a dark side though. I started drinking again. It’s not a lot, but I know it’s not good for me. Honestly though, if I don’t have a piece of the old me, I fear I’ll go insane. The thing is, […]
Eleven years. It’s been eleven years since I’ve had control over my emotions. Since I have felt any sense of normalcy or joy.
Medication after medication. None of them have worked.
Electro shock therapy. Gave me six months of relief before I relapsed, and my psychiatrist is convinced that the habits and anxiety and addictions that I never used to have before the ECT would have happened anyway. When I went through the treatment, I had no memory of anything for months straight. I forgot how to drive, where I was half the time, and each session was nightmarish.
Speaking of my psychiatrist, since I’ve started seeing him, […]
Silently, silently.
A teen not more than fifteen,
beaten and bruised,
lost and confused.
One who does not speak out,
but runs and hides.
Silently, silently,
she yearns for the missing young girl.
A teen not more than sixteen,
parties and people,
drugs and alcohol.
One who does not admit her addictions,
but hides behind them.
Silently, silently,
she screams for help.
A teen not more than seventeen,
taken advantage of,
hurt physically and mentally.
One who does not get help,
but remains quiet.
Silently, silently,
she wishes for relief.
A teen not more than eighteen,
broken and scarred,
self inflicted harm.
One who does not think,
but continues […]
Im not gonna try to post something extremely witty and dark and intellectual and poetic.. i just cant sleep again and im hoping that posting this will clear my mind and i could get some advice from people who possibly feel the same way as me. I could list every terrible thing thats ever happened to me and all the times ive tried to kill myself and all the addictions ive had but thatd take too long and im tired and lazy. So basically, im depressed, im bipolar, im insecure, im lonely, and i feel like nobody cares about me apart from my immediate family. […]
I’m relatively new to this site, but thought I’d take my turn to publish a post. The reason I’m on here tonight is because I am really struggling at the moment. I am really having strong urges to end my life. I don’t want to kill myself, yet I don’t want to continue living this life that I have created for myself. Very contradicting sentence, isn’t it? I just feel so alone. And I know isolation plays a big part in it, but even with people I still feel incredibly alone. I hate myself so much. I hate my body and my mind. I wish […]
Feels like I’m aimlessly floating. The addictions I can’t seem to beat and the ones I just don’t want to or see the need to leave behind. Tired of not living.. but don’t really feel like I want to ‘live’ anymore. Floating around and around. Moving inside my head. Thoughts telling me that I’m not here, I’m not really here.. Just watching everything pass by. I’m not on any medication or drugs, thank you very much. This is how things are. Music drives me. Tales of adventures and forbidden love. I get lost in other worlds.. I can’t handle this one. It can’t handle me. […]
Here’s to the days,
When you have to make your coffee extra strong,
Smoke an entire pack of cigarettes,
Burn twice as much weed.
But in the end. I’m still alive.
Still Alive….
It wont be easy 2 fully finish this
Or 2 get rid of all my thoughts of my addictions.
I want 2 be done and be free.
I want 2 be happy and i will be.
i am strong and beautiful and will get threw this
now with his help and kisses and comfort
i am 1 step closer 2 being done.
Its a new year and i will start of clean……