Today was nothing special, the usual boring, stressful mess at work. However, it’s still the day that finally broke me down, though I’m not sure why. For roughly three years now, not a day has passed that I haven’t thought about death, but getting home today, I knew I couldn’t stand one more day of hating what I saw in the mirror.
I’m just drained mentally, and numb emotionally. I don’t live for myself, but exist from day to pointless day. Each day is just dull maintenance of my basic needs. I find no pleasure in life, nor is there anything I want out of it: no possessions, amount of money, relationships, or experiences. They’re all temporary anyway; rapidly we’re all becoming frail and wrinkled. I’d rather save myself the arthritis.
The tallest building in town is called the 1 South Church Building. Tomorrow I plan to take a bus downtown, and jump from one of the observation decks near the skyscraper’s roof. I’m quite alone. The only people who might get hurt in any sense of the word, is if I land on someone. (This is unlikely, I have walked that street many times, and foot traffic is light.)