I used to self harm, not an awful lot but the marks remain on my wrists. I still get that feeling of wanting to make myself bleed just to get that rush of adrenaline. My father recently died of cancer, 8 months ago almost to this day in fact. We weren’t and still aren’t a rich family, and we’ve had money problems and we’ve had that worry of their being a letter on the doormat when we come home telling us we were being evicted, but luckily it has not come to that. My auntie died two years ago, and my grandma 5 years ago. […]
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Auntie
I just come across this site and thought I want to contribute.
i have recently got back from hospital after my third attempt to overdose. As a child my parents were violent and drug abusesers, I was in care for a while made homeless twice by my mother. Beaten, emotionally abused. I lived with an auntie for a big chunk of time who also abandoned me at 13. My dad left the house when I was 16 leaving me to look after my 14 year old brother. My mum come out of prison and set the house on fire. As I have grown up I have […]
I’m finally done. I just can’t stop the madness in my head. I tried all kids of meds. Zoloft, xanax, paxil, Prozac, etc. this list goes continues. Every shrink diagnoses me with the same thing, major depressive disorder and generalized and socialized anxiety. I think hospitalization would only out me in a worse mental state. Talking sometimes helps but mainly I can’t focus that long. Breathing exercises would be eat if I could take a deep breathe. Sure there are circumstances that depress me but there always is and always will be. It’s my own self, my own head. Nothing helps me. No one can help me. After more than 15 years, I’ve felt this way, I don’t have anymore in me. I’m not looking for sympathy or jokes or even asking the best way to go. I just needed to write it down. I do think about my family and the 2 friends that have stuck by me. I thrill of my 11 month niece that won’t know me her auntie. I don’t want anyone to find me. I will leave letters for those who meant the most and I will simply disappear for a stranger to find later.
by mlrobin
written by mlrobin
I don’t know how long I can keep doing this for. I had planned my suicide for last Tuesday but I got really drunk on Monday and told my auntie so my mum took me to hospital. Now everyone’s pretending like it didn’t happen. I have my exams in less than a week and it’s just another insignificant thing on top of everything else. Although it isn’t a priority teachers and college in general are making me feel lazy and stupid. I wish I could just end it now, go to sleep and never wake it. I’m not scared or upset that I want to die anymore, […]
I started to get Sexually abuse at the age of 3-10.  Well I’m 13 right now. Well I remember snap Shots of when I was 3 ! I don’t remmeber everything. I would go over my auntie house because she would baby sit me while my mom was at work. I just remember my cousin taking my dolls and me crying and he would say “You would half to do this in order to Get your doll back”. Which my cousin was 12 or 13 at the time and I was 3 . He molested  me lots of times as I can remember.He would tell […]
 I have a house and a family, enough money to live on, a nice school, quite a few friends. Why then am I still not happy? Am I selfish? Or greedy? Or arragont enough to think I am better than other people?
I do not think I am selfish, I may be wrong, or greedy or arragont. I do not think I am better than any one else. On the whole I think I am much worse. I do not deserve the many good things I have, a family and such amazing friends as the ones I have.
Since I was aged 8 and lost my Gran to […]