Faking it.
From the outside I have it all. Unfortunately my mind is plagued with trauma, depression, and intense anxiety… leaving me in an existential haze in order to cope; I am merely going through the motions. I used my looks and my body to get through college and thought I would regain my sanity afterwards, but thats not the case. I now have a useless degree, too many therapists, lost a soul mate, and a mind that won’t cease come nightfall. I am […]
The injection of religion
Has a comalike effect
And the bodies
They lie in decay
Dreaming of greener days
Open eyes reading nothing
A sky harsh blue grins black
A sky harsh blue grins black
Grinding binding taking away
Needles above the prey
Wreath of barbs
I’ve felt the same way my whole life. When I see anything, hear anything, or think about anything in the world, it makes me feel pain and anger. I have no idea why.
I’m also angry at my parents for things they did that they no longer do. I hate my mom still for having always implied things, and for hitting me and telling me to kill myself and blaming me for my dad’s sickness and whatever. She doesn’t do it anymore, but when she tries to talk to me, I feel enraged. It’s uncontrollable. I just think about random things she’s done: and the […]
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