I wish I would have found a site like this 6 years ago.  My life once so full of promise, senior in high school, on the dean’s list with a life of grander ahead.  Started down a bad path.  I think I’ve always been bipolar.  The highs are never better, and the lows can’t get any lower.  Started experimenting with drugs.  Found my drug of choice in pain meds.  I was good at hiding the pain on the inside with a happy face on the outside as long as I was numb enough to not care any longer.  The addiction got worse. Drinking and driving after […]
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Bath Salts
I a blocked in at all angles: too depressed to do anything, too anxious around people to have any social contact, although I am painfully lonely, too pessimistic to see anything good, too high strung to ever relax, too damaged to function, and I feel sick all the time, my head and stomach always burning, I always feel nauseous and dizzy. Yet I never seem to be able to manage to kill myself. Every method I have available seems bad. I have tried everything, meds, acupuncture, bath salts, exercise, ect. Even the doctors I go to ask me what I think there is left to […]
My depression has returned.Â
I’m cracked, very close to my breaking point. Maybe I should break already. I just need an extra push.Â
I finally got over Nycolle a few weeks ago and as I basked in the sunshine, Jasmine, my cousin, broke up with me. It would have been our 1 month anniversary….Â
I love her so much, at first, it was so unreal, and I felt so numb, now I’ve begun to become more irritable now. My brother who knew about us, he doesn’t understand I’m pissy and pisses me off a lot.Â
I try not to get angry, but it just phases me too easily. When […]