One day I’ll be alright, but for now I’ve got to dream and fight. The future, they say, is oh so bright. But from my view it’s as dark as night.
Shadows upon the walls, demons creep, and darkness calls. There’s no victory, the battle lasts eternally. War zone up ahead, life and death fight in my head. I hear the screams of the dead, the words they whisper, the words they said. echoing, inside my mind. Are you okay? of course, I’m fine. No need to fret. For i’m alright. No I’m honest, it’s not a lie. Even if I just want to die, […]
Tag:
Binge
hey
i’ve just been diagnosed with bipolar disorder
and i tried to od on anti depression pill
i failed the interview exam for university my mom expect
before all this things
i had been a good daughter good student
i went to the best prep school in my country
now i’ve just all alone in my room for a month
while all my friend being a freshman and succesful
i’ve just recover from anorexia and i binge everyday
now iam so fat and dont want to see my old friends
i really missed them 🙁
(I apologize in advance for venting like this.)
I have been binge eating for six months straight, and I’ve gained so much weight. I now weigh almost 80 pounds. I know that’s still really underweight, I know I shouldn’t weigh 60 or 70 or even 80 pounds – I’m an adult for fuck’s sake. But it doesn’t matter how hard I try to look at things rationally and objectively… I swear I look like I weigh twice what I do, and I’m so fat and bursting with so much self-loathing that I can’t stand it anymore. I’m never going to see myself […]
Nothing left to live for… once chance at giving them a nice life…
by codeslinger
written by codeslinger
I have been addicted to drugs for half of my 30 years on this earth…. I thought if I got married and had some children that it would fill the hole in my heart.  I was able to stop using for a little while, but the desire to get high never goes away. I started using again and eventually my wife took my kids and filled a PFA to keep me away from them. I have never hurt her or the kids, but now I am looked at like a wife-beat. I despise those people who hit women, and that’s what hurts the most…
I do not want my kids to look at their junkie dad […]
my life as i know it is going to shit. i have no one to trust, no one to turn to. even when i want help i never get it. my meds dont do anything for me. i can help but cut every day. i binge and purge almost ever meal, that is when i decide to eat. i dont want to be here anymore. i dont want to suffer everyday. i dont want to wake up and dread being alive. my lungs ache with every breath i take. why. just why am i here?
I don’t know what’s wring with me. I need attention. I need to be noticed. Everything hurts and I never feel loved. I literally never talk or text or call anyone and I basically spend every day only talking and hanging with my parents. This by itself is not a big deal, but I feel like I’m weird because of it. The few friends I do have call me a liar, an annoying little *****, a slut, a whore and basically they want nothing to do with me. It’s my fault somehow and I’m not just saying that to sound pitiful. I’m totally lost and […]
I don’t know where this post will take me, but i just need to write to take my mind off walking to thesupermarket and buying a binge fest. I have already eaten 6 bars of chocolate, 3 packet of crisps (potato chips?) 1 tub of ben and jerry icecream… Been for a run, had an extremely hot shower and my empty void is still there.. Add to that the half block of cheese i just ate and the two cheese toasties that are cooking..
I am also going to my dads for tea, his fridge is stockpiled with binge worthy food…. Argh… Anyone got any tips […]
Finally, oblivious parents have recognized my bulimic ways and decided to get me help. I’m going to a doctor tomorrow and I’m actually eating full meals. I feel…. pretty good. I thought all hell was going to break loose if they found out, but they were more understanding than I thought they would be. My brother knows, and he choose to just ignore me instead of supporting, but he can go fuck himself for all I care.
My bulimia was the cause of all my strife. I’ve felt happier in the past two days than I have in a long time. Though it will take me […]