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Birthdays

Birthdays

by emma15
written by emma15

I’m sitting in my bathroom floor half crying half laughing. plus I drank vodka and i feel really sick.

So today is my birthday. And i used to love birthdays. As a kid i had a lot of friends. Now i have like 2 best friends. They suckkkkkkk

I decided for my 15th birthday to invite friends for a party. I found where mom hides her alcohol and i stole some of the drinks. Plus moms out of town so i have the house all to myself.

Everyone should have come in 9pm. It’s almost midnight. No one showed up. Not even my best friends. So i’m just […]

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Tired of trying

by annae
written by annae

Do you have a father? I know everyone has, but does your dad love you? Does he remember your birthday? Does he remember, how old you are? Does he want you a good life? Or does he even want you to live?

Mine doesn’t.

Mine was ready to kill me.

Mine values beer over me.

My mum left my dad when I was 2 years, because dad threatened her and my lives. He said he’d kill mum. And when mum left, dad wouldn’t want her to have me, so he wanted to slice me in two pieces, one for him and one for mum. Or just kill me so […]

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Feeling better

by wulf_haund
written by wulf_haund

I resolved today to kill myself by August 22nd. First I fired my therapist. I had been seeing her for four years, but don’t feel any better. Next I found the family shotgun and started researching how to load it and where I can go to practice. Next I researched ******** bag deaths and put together a list of what I need to do learn how to do that. I wrote a list of practical things that will need to be done after my death (where my birth certificate it, where my bank account is, etc.).

I have been […]

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by Unknown
written by Unknown

I can honestly say i have no idea what direction my life is going, i see no future not even what may happen tomorrow,

 

i see no birthdays,

i see not a glimpse of true love

or that special day in that one white dress,

i see no hospital where i bring home my legacy.

I see nothing but a cloudy mist .

 

I can’t see .

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I need to kill myself

by abby
written by abby

I cannont handle this. I am numb and everything hurts. My best friends  mom just broke his laptop on him so now we cant skype. I love that kid so much. My 16th birthdays in 4 days and I think march 1st sounds like a good suicide date. lets see what happens huh? I dont know anymore. my mind screams ” attempt. attempt. attempt. ” and I never have. Theres a first for every thing right? Ill try to OD and see what happens. I cant take this.  why am i suicidal? everything fucking triggers me and I am done.

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Happy fucking birthday to me,

by christina--
written by christina--

Because Birthdays are supposed to be special, the make me feel more empty.

People always do nice things with their friends. I dont have anyone to do nice things with, even if I wanted.

The only people who have congratulated me were the ones here. That is just pathetic.

You would think there would be at least one person in my actual life that gives a shit.

 

 

In other news: my D-day is coming soon and I feel like I still need to do so much. But what? I mean really, there is not much I need to do before offing myself. I am a cowardly ****. If I […]

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You’d think I would feel guilty

by BehindtheSmile
written by BehindtheSmile

Last night,  my uncle had my entire family to his house. My aunts, uncles, cousins, the whole crowd.

At first, I looked at them and felt bad. Would my death hurt them? How could I do that? In a few months, they would be at my funeral. Everyone was happy, and I would ruin it.

But as the night progressed, I began to feel glad I was leaving. I knew that it would still make them sad, but it really was for the best. I didn’t fit in. Everyone around talked of simple, insignificant things. They were all wrapped up in their work, birthdays, money, sports. None […]

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Still alive… -_-

by RogueShadow1281
written by RogueShadow1281

So I’m not dead. Apparently the gun show does not permit loaded weapons, it’s only staring at guns and ogling them and done. No test firing or anything… -_- So I’ll be alive. 

I’m going to ask out my cousin Jasmine. Going to ask her if she’ll be my secret girlfriend. A term I’m using since she has feelings for me as I do for her. I’m going to ask her next time I see her, but I don’t know when that will be. She saved me from choosing death, I have a chance with her. 

I don’t believe in God, but in this past week I […]

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those who will kill themselves

by truthbetold
written by truthbetold

have you already chosen a date ?

april 15th or 16th for me ..
my mom (04/06) and cousin (04/11) birthdays are coming up and I don’t want to fuck it up for them .. after the 11th, I’ll have ran out of concern for people feelings .. they’re grown enough to grasp I cannot contribute to their well-being when I’m dead inside and have become very negative .. it’s funny because if I had a child, I’m not sure I’d have considered suicide as an option till (s)he’s at least 20 .. anyway: death, life, politics, religion, fuck all of it

give me death or […]

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A new start?

by taintedsoul
written by taintedsoul

ight as well start with a smiling face because im pretty sure i wont end the journal with it once ive finished writing all this , well as the title says where to begin , i guess i should start with positive , i managed to draw Ezio Auditore de firenze  even though i think i messed up slightly with the face and hands , but nobodys perfect , at least now i know what to work on which is a positive XD ……trying to think what else is positive , well ive got my birthday in 11 months lol but its going to be […]

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I am small

by lixie
written by lixie

My mother left my father when I was 2 years old. He was an alcoholic and used to be a little violent against my mother.

I’m turning 24 this year.

My father has changed. He doesn’t have a problem with the alcohol now, he drinks, but not every day. He is well now.
He always send me gifts. Birthdays and christmas. This christmas he called me. He’s done it before. We talk, and I love it. Everytime he calls, after we hung up I cry for hours. I so badly want to have a relationship with him, but I’m a coward. I live in another town, so […]

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