I used to be this happy little girl who only saw good in the world, nothing could keep me down. Now its like the smallest thing makes me want to pop a bottle of pills… maybe its because it all builds up. My mother has said so much about my weight, along with others, that everytime its mentioned i want to go purge. When it comes to people i dont even know anymore. I dont want to be alone but sometimes i dont want to be around others because i know that half the time people wont be focusing on me. I dont see point […]
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Bleeding To Death
So I’m 14, I know too young to be feeling this way. But I have no confidence I cant stand looking in the mirror I hate myself. I’ve been breaking down a lot, nothing but crying this isn’t the first time but its never been this bad. I literally have been having suicidal thoughts everyday, its gotten to the point to where I almost started crying in school today. I barely started cutting again. I had stopped in like November-ish of last year I think. But its been awhile and I started up again like in April I think. I’ve written so many suicide letters its ridiculous. […]
I was just thinking. Why do people guilt trip over cutting themselves?
Who the fuck cares what other people think? (Well, maybe that’s more of my perspective.) It’s non-lethal, it hurts less than getting a tattoo, you just don’t get a pretty picture at the end. I mean, for pain itself, there would be constructive and productive things to do like yoga, or running till your legs give out, that hurt a lot more than some scrapes. The intensity of pain you feel from pushing your bodily limits are usually a lot worse than the actual act of cutting. If you consistently need stitches and […]
i shouldnt feel this way. i got rid of all those feelings when i left my old school. i have new friends, a new identity, a new school and a fresh start.  then why do i still feel like this. I just float through life everyday, a lifeless burden to myself.  I hate everything that i am, i hate everything that i do, have done and probably will do. i walk around school with this label “smiler” because im always smiling!
“hey smiler!” “right smiler!” dont they know its all a cover? a front if you will? Im alone, scared, cutting and dying inside. I respect myself […]
For seven years now ive been lieing to myself believing things would get better, people would change….my efforts to hold on would pay off….but ive hit a point where everything has lost meaning and hope….my thoughts of suicide are my only form of happiness now…my life has lost value i no longer see the point in waken up….i cant escape my thoughts no matter how hard i try….everyone doesnt   realize the hurt i feel n why its so easy for me to jus not care about anything…they take it as a  joke n use me as an escape from their lives….ive tried to reach out for […]