God is fucking sick basted and apparently he fucking hates me. My brother said he has a blessing coming. Well it must be a good one because god is sucking me dry just so he can get his fucking blessing.
What if I told you I was suicidal?
You would say, “Suicide is for the weak. The ones who can’t bear to live anymore.”
But I’m not weak. I’m choosing to kill myself. Does that show weakness?
What if I told you I had nothing to live for anymore?
You’d tell me the meaning of life is to be happy. What about my parents and friends?
What if I told you I had no friends?
“What friends?” I’d ask. “The ones who think I’m just a moody *****? The girls who are too immature to understand what […]
I almost got a blessing today, but that almost blessing went away fast. I’m going to go to jail today most likely. I’m in a really bad spot and no one is going to help me I’m on my own. I have no choice. I’m going to be alone. I just have one more thing to say don’t true anyone people are evil they hurt you every chance you get especially when they see that you are down they will just make its worse. Just when I started be living in god again I punched in the face again.
I’m still around. Counting the days. Listening to that inner clock, tick tock, tick tocking away. I wish I could hear it winding down. It’s an never ending repetition though. Just like life, even the wait for the end is a never ending disappointment. Will the last day sneak up on me or will I see it coming days or weeks away? Really none of that matters. All that matters is that it does get here and quickly. I dreamed a dream of dying a few nights ago. But it was a lie. I woke up alive the next morning. I’ve heard so many people […]
Why since we ve been on this planet do we treat one another so bad? All through out history is rape, murder, slavery, war, starvation. So why is it considered a blessing to live?The things we suffer as individuals is nothing really when compared to all that life has dished out to all that has lived.Are we here to further insure that this madness continues .we complain about our individual lives , but what about this blessing called life.Im sickened by the whole history of man.If this is a blessing I would hate to see a curse.when does the madness end? Although I been very […]
For sometime I believed suicide was wrong and that what they say is true its only for a spell. But I doubt that now, I have watched several videos were people committed suicide and I felt their pain and cried. I guess for so long I thought I was alone and I said nothing but I see we all cry and no one says anything. I think just as we make our path we can decided to leave. No one wants to be alone and hurt, everyone wants to be hugged and loved, but I guess God or whom ever is up their only gave […]
and I just get by by pretending that I don’t. Not inwardly, I mean on the outside. A mask of sanity. I’m a apathetic misanthrope portraying the character of a normal lovable person in a perpetual improv act.
I’m polite and sweet. I listen to people. I laugh at their jokes. I’m considerate. My mind is dissecting them. I’m dead inside.
I’m just not there.
I’m not depressed any more. I haven’t been for almost a year, but I no longer feel complex emotions of any kind. Some would call this a mixed blessing. There is nothing mixed about it. If I had to choose, I would trade […]
I was born with a loving, caring, and forgiving family. To most people, that’s a blessing. But to me, it only makes it harder for me to make them pleased, or even tolerant of anything. It only makes my life worse. I already hate me, so does everyone else, so my own family were like the only people who I could trust at all, and now they are like people I never even knew. It just sickens me to see what I have done to these great people, and what I can do to all those with a pure heart, unlike mine.
so within the past year I have consumed more than a big bottle of different kinds of pills (trying to overdose) obviously. but I have never been successful. what am I doing wrong? why am I still alive. I see this also as a blessing but because I’m so sad I just don’t understand why I’m still here someone please help and tell me what I’m doing wrong
Kill me.
Kill me now, cut deep into my veins and bleed me until there’s nothing left
Nothing of me in this world
This wretched, hard, horrid place
Moving from mishap to mishap
never stopping
never breaking the cycle
I must get free of this cycle
The cycle bound by the chains of mortality
The only way to get out
to break free of my mortality
but the reason to get out?
to make life better.
STOP!
what is this?
this world? full of paradox and irony
the universe seems to cackle at every one of the informed
bringing them down further and further
there […]