I can’t cut like I use to, so I find other ways to feed my addiction. Tonight my dog head butted me and I used it to my advantage by being able to cause glorious pain to myself. This is peaceful beauty. 
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Blood Tears
So today was a disaster. Â And it’s only starting. I was supposed to see my doctor today. Â And as much as I have been dreading it, today, when I didn’t have it, I realized just how much I had been relying on it. Â Just trying to hold on until there was help. Â But there isn’t any. Â I cried and cried. Â I missed the train. Â I had cut myself in the train station bathroom. Â Then while I was waiting for the train I felt the blood moving down my leg and realized I had to do something to stop it or else I was going to […]