Feb. 8th I tried to kill myself. I have never attempted anything like this before, but God knows I have been thinking about it for way too long. I was down stairs doing some practice cuts on my wrist, just to see how hard I needed to press and figure the whole mess out. The first cut was quite demeaning. I think one drop fell out, so I tried again in a new spot, harder this time. This time I got a good amount to come out. As I was getting ready to go even deeper and harder I dropped the razor blade and it […]
By:EmoCookie
Boom
Bam
Slam
No one heard the pain that I believe I desever
Slice
Dice
That is th price that I pay for myself
Spray
Snif
The way I can take myself from this world to be happy for just a second
Slap
Crack
Punch
Have nothing left
Get something someone can’t take from me
Safty pins
No longer come safe for me
Blade box cutters
No longer are for boxes
For my arm is now the box
And the blade […]
Just called a suicide hotline.. they guy i talked to .. he just kept saying uh well you need to look at it from a better point of view.
I lost my 2nd oldest brother cause my oldest brother raped me! and you exspect me to look on the bright side. I look at his facebook everyday, hoping to get to know him. I DONT EVEN KNOW MY OWN BROTHER. And i hate it.. i hate it so badly. I only found out last week he’s graduated highschool.. i never knew.. i didnt know..
I miss him so badly, we would stay up reading the hungry catapillar, […]
Here i sit in class, reviewing for my end of course exams.. and all i can think about is suicide.. Cutting, im thinking about using my scapel for the first time. The sharpness is 0.6mm.. does anyone know how sharp that is .. like if i were just to press it lightly to my skin how deep would it cut me? I know many of you are gonna tell me not to cut, and are probally gonna avoid anwsering the question i dont blame you. But i wanna know ive looked it up on google countless […]
Im seeing them again.. the three black circals that cloud my vision…. I wanna cut so badly.. i was using my coping skills again tonight its 2am here. My most useful coping skill at the moment is drawing. My mom (step mom)Â came over to check on me i asked to have more paper. She said no that i need to stop distracting myself and get to sleep.. i just wanted to scream.
She’s the person who doesnt get it most of all. She’s super religious. She doesnt get that im bisexual. I’m just “in a phase” . […]
When i made this cut i was scared. I had just traded an ounce of weed for a brand new box cutter, a kid bought me from home depot. Stupid i know i could have got it myself but with your dad watching you every moment of the day it was kinda hard. I said it was for protection.. protection from my thoughts.. but he gave it to me. No other questions ask even knowing my history.
I went home a couple days past and then me and my parents got in a huge fight. With […]
Depressed over a romantic failure. How familiar does it sound? I was talking to her for almost a year, but she ended up falling in love with someone she knew for three months. It’s a downer. But why would she fall for someone like me? 24, living at home, can’t find a job, and really awkward. Yes, she said its cute and stuff, but cute goes only so far. And it happens again and again.
Looking into people’s eyes has always been a challenge for me. I stutter. I seem to have no control over the tone of my voice and my facial expressions. This makes […]
i’ve never been a fan of halloween, but this year i cancelled plans with my best friend to drink 1.5 litres of wine, right out of the bottle, in my pajamas, in bed, playing with my box cutter, keeping quiet so my roommates don’t know i’m home.
i just can’t compete in this world.. everyone makes living and smiling look so easy but it just isn’t for me.
So two weeks ago I almost decided to go through with ending it all. I was in the tub, hot water and all. Instruments neatly set up on the side. Box cutter, scalpel, syringe, needles plenty of options to choose from. At that point I had used all of them to inflict harm upon my body knowing it would not result in my death but instead give me some relief from the hell of my life. Upon deciding which one to choose that would do the job right I remembered I never had the opportunity to use the syringe. It was sterilized considering I stole […]
I’m not sure how to really do this but here I go:
My senior year of high school was the worst year ever. I was struggling in my classes, it wasn’t looking like I was going to graduate, my parents were constantly disappointed in me, tellling me to grow up, and I had few actual friends. My stress level day after day just kept rising and rising, until it hit the point where I had to cause pain to myself to lower it. I started cutting myself. For a while the cutting really helped. Then a friend saw the cuts and freaked out. She went around […]