I don’t know whether it’s wanting to be saved and know I’m loved because of somebody, or if I really just want a boyfriend/girlfriend/friend. I don’t know. I feel so confused. And conflicted. I just keep dreaming and needing for.. something. I’m not really sure what of yet. I can’t really decipher my dreams that well you know. Anyways, I just am feeling like I’m craving to be loved, touched, felt, understood by someone who truly cares and wants to know me, and all these things. Like, I have a whole list of things that I would feel if I were with somebody, and a […]
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Boyfriend Girlfriend
At may this year had a boyfriend ( I am a 19 year old bisexual female) who was pro poly-amory, before I knew it I was having a party on MDMA kissing 2 friends of my boyfriend and the girl of one of those friends. I started a sexual relationship with the 2 friends and the girl ( I had my boyfriend as well) which was pretty awesome. Sometimes one on one, sometimes threesomes… foursomes… fivesomes… After four weeks he broke up with me because I was too clingy. My subconscious tells me he just thought I was too fat, ugly and stupid, but he […]
Getting fucking sick of all these people; Lets give them an answer
“I don’t understand why you would want to cut yourself”
’cause it fucking feels good and i love the sight of my own blood
“You’ll regret those scars”
No i fucking won’t. I want more. I think they are beautiful!
“You are only doing this for attention”
I hate this one the most. If you honestly think i’m doing it for attention, why did you find out TWO years after i started and that was only after i TOLD you ’cause i had a cut that was really infected because it was huge.
Fuck wit. […]
I am sad. Yesterday was horrible! I just broke down onto the floor. I don’t know how long I was on the floor, but it feels like quite a long time. I was saying ‘I can’t do this, I can’t fucking do this’. And I cut, and I played with my own blood. My floor has white and black squares, like a chess-board. And I was bleeding onto one of the white squares, and I was just playing with it. Then I cleaned my floor and put some alcohol onto my arm so that I wouldn’t get any weird infections. Later that night I was […]