I’m 17 years old, I suffer from BDD(body dysmorphic disorder), social anxiety, depression, and I’m pretty sure I have unstable emotions. My father committed suicide when I was 3 years old and from then my mother raised me and my two older sisters while she abused depression pills, she would always go out to drink and come home drunk and mean, whenever a guy would come into her life she forgot she had children. I was too young to realize all that was happening around me.I’ve been bullied since I was in 4th grade, I only had one friend until we entered middle school and […]
Tag:
Boyfriends
I really don’t understand. Nothing affects me like my father. I’ve had my brother tell me he is so disappointed in me, that I am selfish and immature, that I abuse the ones I love with what I do, that all I care about is attention-seeking, that I’m going to fail in life. I’ve had my mother tell me that she simply can’t believe that I am not doing this to hurt her. That my cutting, that my suicide attempts, that even my physical illnesses like my catatonic episodes where I ended up in Hopkins Neurology because I couldn’t move my body, that all of […]
Got in fight with parents, boyfriends ignoring me, best friends out of the state and all i want to do is scream. Anybody want to talk? I just need to take my mind off all this shit
As far back as I can remember, I’ve always had this nagging thought in the back of my mind. This thought that life is pointless and tiresome. I don’t remember much of being a child. It is as though I was someone else before I became a teenager. Photographs are life’s little moments captured in a stillframe and frozen. Looking at childhood pictures bothers me, because I feel as though I am looking at someone else. I feel as though the pictures are supposed to make me recall the moment in the photo. But I don’t. I don’t remember dressing in the clothes I am […]
I have only ever wanted one thing. It’s the only thing that I will never have.
In grade school, I was maybe seven years old, my teacher asked us to draw what we wanted to be when we grew up. I drew myself with a bunch of babies and kids running around and wrote “stay at home mom.” Now, I’d say my goals have changed considerably, I’d rather work than stay home, but I still have dreams about little green-eyed babies.
My freshman year of college I found out that I’ll never get those babies. I also found out that I will never be in love, I’ll […]
Hi, I’m Tasha Jenay Thomas. And I’m a freshman in high school. School this year is a big change for me. I have friends… Just not in my class. There’s this girl who torture’s me with her mean looks and her mean doing’s. She talks crap behind my back like an immature person would do. She plays varsity on the volleyball team and she has a lot of friends. She thinks everyone likes her which everyone hates her. She always has to get the other girls to gang up on me and try to put me down. There’s this other girl who just moved here […]
There’s been a lot of suicides lately in my town. It brings back my own depression and having no one there to vent to, I am now turning to this site to let my frustation out. I’ve been lurking and I now feel strong enough to finally let everything out. I don’t think I’ve ever told my whole story, from birth to present times, in one sitting. So here I am, this is me, and this is my story.
My mother had trouble conceiving and after a miscarriage, I was born. I was her pride and joy. She wanted me to be perfect, like her; straight A’s, […]
I hate my life so much! I’ve been in and out of the hospital for trying to kill myself for years now! Things were good for awhile but then it all got taken away! I’m tired of now being the ugly,fat, single girl that no one really likes and will be alone forever! Everyone my age is getting married and having babies and I’m just sitting here on my fat ass living at my mom’s house!!! And I’m 27! I’ve tried but just can’t ever seem to survive this world! Even when I am skinny and my depression is doing better it all just falls […]
wake up
get beat physically by sister verbal abuse by dad and watch mom say nothing all for being alive
wonder around (not like i have anyone to hang with?)
sister has chores: this means “ok whatver” then “hannah if u dont do my chores i will beat u so hard” not llike i can just walk away cuz she chokes me and pusheds me to the ground then says “wow this is why your fat all u do is sit on your ass”
then i do her chores an my chores and when i do something of hers wrong guess what? im slapped and […]
I’m actually feeling really well today. I mean sure some douchebags upset me with a comment they made about suicidal people (basically that anyone who commits suicide doesn’t deserve to be loved after they’re gone), but too many good things have happened today for it to ruin my day. So today was National Suicide awareness day and I honestly thought the only people who would care and do something about it were my friends and I (and maybe one or two others), but when I got to school, the first thing I saw was a bunch of popular girls and guys with the word love […]
yesterday i set out with my bestfriend for her graduation party hungout with all of our close friends… night time came and i went to a party where i hoped id be meeting my boy, i was already mad at him for not getting ahold of me for a week and i find out hes with his two boys and 3 girls = instamadness. anyways he gets there to the party and im already a cup down of jungle juice we kinda talk nothing big… i decide to go pull him aside so we can talk he says no i dont feel like (looking at […]
People think I’m happy, but I’m not. I never tell anyone about my feelings. So i just wanted to share my story here, and say what I don’t have courage to say to people around me.
Apparently, I have a really good life. I have a loving family and lots of friends who care about me. I’m shy but I always try to be nice and people tend to like me. I’m a university student and get good marks, I have a part-time job and I still have some time for my hobbies. The problem is, I’m not happy with that. I don’t know why I’m […]
This is going to be really long but I’m going to keep it as short as possible. This is most of my life and most of my problems all in one. Â I’ve never told anyone all of this but I really need to get it all off my chest- Â so here it goes
So I’m  a 13 year old boy crazy girl. From the outsde I look like I have it all together. I’m that pretty popular cheerleader who looks like she has a lot of friends and guys like her. Sounds greatright? That girl isnt the real me. I’m falling apart.Im insecure. I feel fat […]
“I am my heart’s undertaker. Daily I go and retrieve its tattered remains, place them delicately into its little coffin, and bury it in the depths of my memory, only to have to do it all again tomorrow.”  — Emilie Autumn (The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls)
I had my first suicidal thought at the age of eight. Two years later, I had what I referred to as “my contingency plan”, consisting of a lethal OD of my mum’s prescribed potassium chloride pills. It was a strange comfort to know that, if everything ever became too much, there was something I could DO, something I actually had […]
I am 16 years old. I am not welcome into my own home. I have always been an outcast my whole life. I’m a freshmen.
I play sousaphone in marching band.
I am on depression, anxiety and scizo meds.
My best friend got in a car wreck and died.
My mom tells me I’m useless, I’m nothing.
I write poems. I’m put down for them.
a total of 10 friends of mine have killed themselves.
I’m too fat to eat…I’m 197 pounds. I don’t eat.
I cut myself a lot. I have tried suicide.
And i have a therapist. She doesnt help.
i am […]
I thought I’d never have to come back here. I thought I was doing fine. I used to severely scratch my skin (around my shoulders and chest so no one could see) to take some extremely negative thoughts out on myself. I had stopped for about 4 days now. Then… today happened.
_________________________
Here’s a little back-story;
About 3 years ago, my ex cheated on her boyfriend of 2 years with her friend, they obviously broke up. Then me and her dated for about 2 weeks last year, but she left me to get back together with her ex, but he didn’t want her. She then […]
well…i guess i can say it started when i was only a few years old….my parents were both drug addicts…i was in the bars with my mom and dad till my dad met my step mom when i was almost 4…for me it was normal….but then again so was buying my own food at the store, stealing money from my mom while she slept of the drugs and alcohol for the food, being used as collateral when she didnt have drug money, and being molested by her many boyfriends. then id go home to my dads, he and my mom worked alot…and did drugs so they werent always […]
Life was always hard on me, from the day I was born.. with an alcohlic father who had abandoned me and my mother when I was 2 and a mother who’s hobby is to blame me for everything and yell at me.. Really no one to care for me at this age. I was always alone and I tried my best to always get out of the house as much as I could because why would I stay there..
When I got older and there had been more yelling towards me, neglect, and beatings.. I even remember one time when i was in grade 2 and […]
So to to make it as short as i can..im a 15 year old girl living in a tiny town out in the middle of no where, i have a few friends that are close..but i just finished my freshmen year, and im back almost all my credits because i missed to much school, when i used to get straight A’s the middle school.. because i couldnt even handle getting out of bed everyday, and facing all those happy people, with there boyfriends and girl friends, and there cute clothes, which i cant get only because my size..and all my friends seem to have boyfriends […]
so 4th of july is here and i happy im not in a mental hospital especially when my therapist knows about my internal debate and following my plan to end it or not ending it. but she can still change her mind tomorrow morning seeing as shes forcing me to see her tomorrow even though she does not even work officially. I really dont know what im going to end up doing but what ever decision i make i hope its worth it. So its down to what i decide although the idea of breaking my boyfriends heart, breaking my promise to my friend, giving […]