So, you know the constant failings of out favorite superheros in their private life, like peter parker? I’m finding that the more time progresses, the more my life turns into a generic superhero movie without the superhero part. Maybe I need to get bitten by a mutated spider. Maybe I should introduce my brains to the wall. Idk. Tonight will tell.
Tag:
Brains
i want to rip my hair out and scream i want to cry my eyes out too the point were i can not even see.. i want to just die and watch no one care…. i have been coughing so hard i puke my brains out… i feel horrible…. i feel alone and lost and empty i want to die i want to fall asleep and never wake i am so done right now i am sick of all the bull shit in my life i am sick of all the heart breaks and drama i am sick of being alone all the time i […]
I can’t seem to get myself to do the simplest things. I am wading through life fighting against this current that tells me it would be better if I just left this plane and stop wasting resources. I feel ashamed constantly and I can’t shake off this feeling that the future is hopeless. I am disoriented. I want to get better, I’ve done therapy, meds, drugs, and yet this heaviness, this emptiness still lingers. Even with some of the ups I’ve had this monster of a feeling is ready and waiting to take me back into the darkness.
I’m stuck between wanting to break free and […]
The first time I tried to kill myself was when I was eleven. Â My father was the only person I had in the world, and he had died in spring. Â I went to the school for advanced kids and we did a great deal of independent reading. Â I’d learned about hypothermia. Â I waited until a very cold winter day with feet upon feet of snow. Â I put on my turquoise fur coat, which was the nicest thing I had. Â I knew it would also make it look like an accident. Â I chose a perfect time at night and laid out in the snow.
Needless to say, […]
The word itself makes people stop and see what it says. It’s so eye grabbing and it captures most everyone’s attention. Saying you’ll commit suicide is easy. Setting up suicide is easy. But actually doing it? Actually jumping off of a building? Actually pulling the trigger? Actually slitting your wrists? It’s fucking hard. To know that your life is there; So vulnerable in your hands. It’s all in front of you. And it’s all up to you in that very moment. Whether you live, or you die.
What’s it like falling? Just free falling and all of a sudden, nothing. Or to pull the trigger […]
I don’t know why I’m even bothering, but what the hell. I’m still here. Still not in the pokey, either, though I suspect I’m running out of time.
I think I’m sticking around just to piss people off. I’m probably just chickenshit.
It dawned on me this morning that if I was someone else looking at my life and my situation, I’d be telling me to fight hell and high water. Even if I lose, I’d still get to take down a few assholes with me. My brother deserves to be in jail for rape. My narcissistic sister needs a serious dose of reality to shatter her […]
when i see people sad and depressed on here it makes me sad and depressed. i decided im not going to write one note but a to couple people i actually love. one of the only things that makes me not want to get hit by that train, hang myself, blow my brains out. is the few people have been saving me all of this time. one of my best friends has been in boot camp. i dont want him to find out. i hope by the time he comes back everyone will have forgotton me, he will have forgotton me. i never go through with this. but i know how badly […]
I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I FUCKING HATE HIM. I keep trying to tell him he’s gonna regret the way he treats me and it would hit him hard and suddenly. Why can’t he see I’m dying? He’ll feel it when I’m gone… Then maybe he’ll learn his lesson and treat her right too… She acts like it’s nothing, but he’s hurting her too…. She’s got enough aggrivation with my stepdad, she doesn’t have to deal with Aedan too… I fucking hate him… I hope when he finds out […]
Every time my boyfriend sees me on this site he gets freaked out caaause he nos I’m crazy enough to commit suicide. I can’t take stress now a days and I don’t have much patients….
Depression ia good to people it nos how to just fuck your shit up. Sometimes you can’t help it.
I love to cut be chocked bite myself anything with pain I love… I don’t know why…
I wanna leave this place we call earth?!? Go into eternal life and be happy with no cre or problem swim with the stars paint a goat… Ive shroomed and left my body once […]
my best friend gave up on me. she was the only person who believed in me and now she dropped me. i have no job, no friends, my family hates me, i have horrible depression, horrible anxeity, LOW self estem, and i feel like a mistake. i dropped out of high school. what a loser. everyone thinks im easy because im old friends started rumors about me. noone likes me. im better off rotting in hell then living here, even though it seems like hell. i find myself crying myself to sleep everynight, because the girl i love loves some other boy. and she thinks […]
this is the angriest poem I’ve ever written. It cones from the deepest footings of my hatred. Enjoy
I split my arms open every night to endure
The pain I am put through each day
All the fakeness all the lies I see through
Has done nothing to save my faith
I want to watch you burn. I want to see you die.
I want to see the light leave your eyes as I kiss you goodbye
And laugh the way you did when I tried to kill myself
You said that you’d be there for me
That’s one cut
You said that you’d stay true
That’s two
i just cant stand this anymore. every day when i wake up 1st thing on my mind is wish i could blow my brains out. its been like this for about 4 years. future to me seems like lonely, very boring, long and mentally painful and im just 19 years old. nothing i can achieve can make me happy. i know i will live my entire life alone and in this same state of mind as im now. now i have a meeting whit a psygologyst i wish he will give me some drugs i could take whit large amount of other drugs and alcohol […]
I bought a regulator today on ebay for 70 bucks. It’s supposed to work for helium, ******** and argon. Made by Lincoln Electric. I called the welding supply a couple weeks ago, I think it’s a bit more than $100 for a smaller sized ******** tank. I’m undecided as whether to go ******** or helium, and feel somewhat lost though I am doing the research online as to how to go about this. I am pretty scared. I’ve chickened out so many other times, overdosing, trying to get my nerves up to be able to jump from a 7 story parking structure. Though after looking […]
“Unopened Love Letter” (submitted)
Dear Mangled Heart,Â
I don’t even recognize you anymore.Â
Where have you been?Â
What have you been through?Â
We used to be so in tune.Â
“With my brains and your brawn…” Ya know? Now it’s like we’re strangers in the same room.Â
You’ve grown old. Cold. Distant.Â
You used to be warm and inviting. I was the cynical one. You’d let anyone in from the weather – if only for a while – and when I’d be concerned about the security risks, you’d just smile at me and say
“They need me.”
Heh. I never understood.Â
But I trusted you. I knew you. And we were […]
i know a lot of people come on here and just complain…and then some other guy comments something inspirational, like those few words are really going to make up for a life full of pain, regret, and anger? i understand tho, im always that friend who tells them that their is always something to live for, im usually that person who tries to say something inspirational and save the day. But if i dont even believe in the crap im dishing out why should anybody else? am i that convincing? Or are my friends just so surprised that a pretty face can have brains too? […]
The thought and feelings crept back in. I was depressed and suicidal before, but got through it. I learned to live and be happy. I mean, I thought I was happy. I never really know how I feel. It seems that I see how I should feel rather than having feelings. It’s all a mask to cover up the gaping void within me. I’m an empty vessel. I function within the world as anyone would, but I am no one. And I don’t mean I want to be appreciated because people make me feel like no one. Just, I’m inside my brain, and I can […]
Don’t you hate it when you take a dump and ur dick falls asleep along with ur leg? Happenes to me all the time, probably poor blood circulation for a 17 year old…
I wrote this 3 days ago and since wordpress doesn’t let me write on my iphone without lag, I just copy and paste it which is easier.
My dad pissed me off a bit. Between the facts I know and the facts he knows, we are both ignorant of each other. I tell him what I heard and he tells me that he’s older and therefore he has all the brains and […]
Some days, the fog seems to lift and I begin to see hope for my future
But I still hate the sunny days
It’s only the cloudy days for me
Just without the fog
My brains seems to step up the to the plate
And I can concentrate on something again
But some days, I still feel so dark and lonely
It’s sickening
We are all dead anyhow so what does it matter if we choose to leave this painful world early? It is only the hypocrites who live pain free who argue so strongly against suicide. Yet if they had to live through the pain that most people who contemplate suicide do they’d likely be the first to blow their brains out.
I’m very curious… of course this is a hypothetical question…
If someone were to drive to a hospital – a good one that is familiar with organ donating (unless they all are??) – and “accidentally” shoot themselves in the ER parking lot, bullet to the brain via the throat (??), and was WAY beyond possible resuscitation (brains blown out – hopefully nothing left) – and if that person had a note saying it was ok to donate body organs to those in need – would it be medically possible to save those organs and transplant successfully – in those 5 minutes or so it would […]