Well I’m 26 and have never had a girlfriend, date, anything going.   Being with someone is totally 100% blank.  I was always afraid to approach people. It’s come to define me among the people I know. I really have no reason, and everyone I come across thinks it’s strange…always had a good job, lots of interests, did well in school, no strange mannerism ,look pretty normal. I just feel out of place.  It’s like a code I can’t crack. I feel like it’s pushing me to the brink. Every year that passes I feel more bitter and worse than the year before…I’m so sick of the constant […]
Tag:
Brink
*My mom is mentally and partially physically abusive
*my dad didn’t want anymore kids, aka, me
*my sisters raised me, then left me with my mother
*my dad is never home
*my dad never talks to me
*I was molested and taught to masturbate at age six by my sisters friend
*my mother openly talks about my idiocy and stupidity to strangers
*I have been suicidal since 6th grade
*my mom left me in 4th grade
*I’ve been convinced that its okay to give my body away
*I’ve been raped
*I have commitment issues
*I’ve tried to commit suicide twice
*I have an addiction to cutting
*I’ve been bullied because I’m different, emo, a kandi kid, scene, bisexual, on […]
I’m going to try and give my story the best way I can. I haven’t been on this Earth for a very long time, and I’ve been plagued by problems (but not as much compared to come of the posts I’ve read on here). I started having suicidal thoughts when I was about 10, and I’ve had them ever since. I started having them because I was being bullied very badly at school. My Mother (who is going to appear many times in this story), also picked on me but not as bad. Fast forward 2 years from then, I started getting homeschooled, and my […]
This is not ‘Gyan’. But this is my Suicide story.
I write this with a very heavy heart. Not that I knew Jiah Khan personally. Not that I thought she was a fabulous actor, she was decent but very beautiful, she’d do very well indeed if she had  willed. But she was woman, like me. She was a person like us all. She was struggling with life and she gave up, she quit.
Her suicide story took me down memory lane. Not a pleasant one of course. The darkness is mostly never pleasant. I certainly find it addictive and I have witnessed its malignant face too. I […]
I can’t believe it.
She’s gonna die. She hasn’t died yet, but she’s on the brink.
My BEST FRIEND who has cancer is going to be gone forever. I just don’t know what to do! I can’t help her because I’m not magical, but I can’t help feeling that I’m supposed to do something. Seriously, I’m just lost.
She has an overall positive attitude about it, on the outside. But if you have a best friend, you can tell when they are actually fine and when they are scared shitless. She is scared shitless, and who can blame her?
She has less than a year to live. What am […]
so i took them, the pills. I just hope this time it works, this time nothing goes wrong. ive had too much. im not strong, im drained of the energy to deal with everything. i hope everyone’s life goes well. i dont want help anymore, i just want it to end. noone can know, it wont make anyone feel better. not many cared for me, but whoever did i hope everything gets better for them, hope they find someone to replace me soon. i pray my mom will be fine, and my little brother too, he kept me alive. i hope my dad will be […]
~Broken~
When will you learn?
That I am not always going to be there
For you to vent you’re anger on,
That I am not a toy to you,
And you will push me to the brink
I will hurt, over and over,
Cutting deeper and deeper
Until everything in me is ruined,
Until I have hurt so much it isn’t possible to hurt any more.
When will you try?
To help me
To stop hurting me
To make me feel like I was supposed to be born
To help me not be afraid
Of you,
Of trusting you,
Of loving you,
’cause I can’t survive the destroying of my heart
I won’t always be able to pick up the pieces,
To mold them […]
I don’t want to be dead. I’m suicidal, and I recognise this fact. I think about killing myself the way other people think about what they’re going to have for breakfast. I don’t want to die, I just can’t face the fear and the despair that always return to my mind. It gets to the point where I can’t see any other alternative.
I’ve tried to kill myself a lot of times, 16 to be exact, and I’ve always failed. My last two attempts were definitely the most serious, and both almost ended my life. The first I ended up with multiple organ failure; the last I jumped […]
Hey everyone! I just wanted to share something….
Lately, I’ve been wishing for my death whenever I’m irritated. I’m sort of easily annoyed. Little things get under my skin. Like, whenever someone comes into my room and leaves my room without shutting the door. That really pisses me off. Whenever I try to get my uncle’s attention and he takes forever to respond (He deliberately does that) because he’s focused on his iPhone irks me, too. I dislike going through the trouble of doing something for someone else because they choose not to do it themselves (Referring to family. I am the youngest, so I’m ‘bossed’ […]
I can’t go on anymore. Â The pain is to much for me to handle, no one wants me, my mother kicked me out, my father is on the brink. My life is just lies. LIes about school, love, and health. I am not fine…so why do I keep saying I am? I am broken and bruised the only way I feel anything is when the cool metal of the blade touches my skin, I promised I would stop. I can’t .
Death th constant in my life- thoughts,actions,success- my goal, my one and only goal
Please help me.
Im on the brink of suicide.
I want to die.
Why can’t i just runaway and live forever alone?
With no harm being done to me.
Is it coming to and end?
Will it ever stop chasing me?
No!
It will haunt me for the rest of my life.
It is my fault he did what he did.
It is my fault he is gone.
Not to a better place.
No, but to a place where is soul will be tortured for ever.
That is where I, […]
What’s the best way to have someone find you? Opinions?
I’ve thought about mail, emails, giving heads ups are more questionable…
I wouldn’t want to start decomposing where I lay. But I wouldn’t want someone to stop me either.
Fed up with crying wolf, and even worse, I don’t even know if people would take me seriously if I said I was going to kill myself.
Because every time I’m at that brink, that dread is immediate, real. Pulses through my blood, my bones.
Yet, I’m not sure if I’m supposed to laugh at my own pathetic attempts.
I’m terrified. And I feel completely alone.
I have not hurt myself since January and I have been on the right path not to, but I somehow can’t seem to hold it together lately. My anxiety has increased. My insomnia has increased. Even my fucking smoking has increased. Chainsmoking. Bad. But I use all of these things – my nerves, my lack of sleep, my bad habits – as scapegoats to escape what’s really bothering me. And the thing is, I think I know what’s bothering me but I’d rather not even say it out loud or even think about it, so I store it somewhere […]
I honestly have no idea how I am, who I am or what I’m doing. It’s difficult to have your whole family think you’re an attention seeker because you cut yourself and because you’re depressed and were suicidal. It hurts so much to let people you care about so much down. I hate myself more then anything ever. It’s so hard. When I say it’s so hard I hate myself more for being so weak and pathetic. I’m 16. I have grown up bullied, hit and at one point I was sexually assaulted which I very rarely talk about. I have a boyfriend now, his […]
Some days it’s easy to hate the reality of your own existence. Some times it’s simple to think there isn’t a point to getting by and getting on with life. Some how it’s simple to die on the inside.
Sometimes…but not always. Sometimes people bring you back from the brink- a girlfriend, a boyfriend, a best friend etc… Until they leave me also.
I used to think that it would take some kind of life altering event to cause someone to spiral down the rabbit hole of depression, that people were born happy or content and then we’re twisted by the world around us.
The more I think […]
Hey,
I do not know what to say really. I’ve been on the brink of suicide for quite a while I am very anxious so you may get confused while reading. I have been on this site since last year, and I am depressed. I have little energy to live. Now do me one favor. Please do not write comments such as “oh, everything will be better, just wait and see.” If you want to comment, please in form of advice, I am sick of sympathy. So I have lived in an Arab country my entire life. Everything started in kindergarten. I was in a German kindergarten, and I use to bully […]
To everyone, please think before you act. You are more amazing than you think. I have a fortune that came out of a fortune cookie, it says “No matter what your past has been, you have a spotless future.” And it’s true. I have seen so many amazing people on here, inspiring people, children, teenagers, adults, parents, survivors and people on the brink of despair. I have read posts from people who could be soulmates, people who are beyond ‘saving’ and have made up their minds. I wish you all well and hope that, if death does take you, that it brings what you want.
That’s all it would take. One more step.
I don’t expect anyone to reply this, nor do I expect anyone to read this. I just want to vent out feelings I haven’t been able to tell anyone in my life right now.
It’s been a year since I last thought about suicide. Since then, I’ve moved to Australia for college and I’ve met so many new people. I thought this was to be my new start. A fresh beginning from the previous year where friends turned against me. Dispose of my jealous feelings I had towards even my close friends – start anew. I was right, for […]
If I could just make some progress on my bills. I’m an homest man I never stiff anyone, but since I lost my job two years ago I’ve had to live on a small pension, (thank God for that) and I just slip farther behind. I’m 55. I’ll never be able to pay them off. I hide the hurt from everyone but sometimes it comes back so badly that it’s almost unbearable. I never, ever,  thought that at this stage of my life when I should be looking forward to my “golden years”, I’m instead living in a rented apartment, struggling to get by, with […]