My aunty is visiting me before I leave for college, and she is the prettiest of my mom’s siblings because she uses the most makeup and she is the “beauty expert”. The only downside to this is that she cares way too much about her looks and comments on other peoples’ too. I was at the mall with her today with one of my other family members, and she kept talking about how much smaller she is than I am, yet she still has more than double my breast size. She kept saying comments during dinner (we ate saucy chicken wings from her favorite restaurant) about […]
I don’t know. I battle this little thing in my head that tells me to stop eating. “Stop eating! Your thighs are getting bigger, your appearance is getting uglier. Stop!” But I don’t listen. I eat away. No, I don’t throw it up, I don’t take laxatives. Nothing. I’m afraid that someday, that voice will win. I want to to stop. I’m craving the taste of hunger pains. It’s an urge inside of me. Why am I like this? I know I will accomplish not eating. I know it. But when?
A few months ago I posted a story about my best friend who was close to the edge and how I desperately wanted to stop him doing the wrong thing because he just had so much to live for.Â Well aÂ lot of time has passed and he is still alive, I actually managed to stop him – but in doing so I put all of myself into what I can only crudely refer to as a mission and IÂ know now that I lost myself. I learnt toÂ think like a suicidal person, seeing theÂ triggers, the pain, the hurt, the desire to end the pain – mostly because […]
I have bulimia and two years ago I cut 3 little cuts on my stomach. I’m a 14 year old girl and on terms of being depressed, I’ve managed to keep my actions in check. Something change last night. I got into a fight with my best friend that I have told absolutely everything thing to and he’s been totally supportive but, he just full on changed and was against me and called everything what I did or what I think stupid. Â I know that I cut 3 cuts on my stomach 2 years ago but that’s nothing compared to how badly I cut my […]
Every Summer since I was a teenager has been tough for many different reasons.
From being in hospital, to loosing someone to death, to drinking myself awake every morning.
This Summer is full of promise.
This Summer is probably going to be my most memorable Summer yet and maybe ever.
I have no money but so much hope and love that it could fill an entire city.
I’ve one small worry though. This might be the start of the end of me and my bestfriend.
I’ve known this girl Hayley for 13 years of my life and I’m 17 yet.
She is literally my soul mate.
I’m new to this site. I was going through a hard time and subconsciously started to look at suicide related links, which lead me here.
I’ve had depression, bulimia and other illnesses like insomnia for about eleven years now. Although I tried and failed to commit suicide about five years ago, I’m generally a cheerful person and eight years with a good counsellor has lead me a long way.
I still have problems holding a job down, but the biggest blow is that the one love I’d been with for five years told me recently thatÂ he is marrying someone else. I have no choice but to respect […]
i found this website by searching for ways to overdose on pills so i decided to make an account to see if it wouldÂ help but, now from reading other posts from people that are around 30 and over that i cant relate to in debt and what not, it just makes me feel even more alone. I’m only 13 and i really shouldn’t be deserving any of the crap i get. I know that people have it worse than me but right now, i should be worrying about boys and whatever a 13 year old girlÂ worries about, i shouldn’t be worry about hiding my scars. […]
Hello my name is Arianna I am 15 years old. I have no reason to live. i hate this I hate all of this. I hate the human beings in this world who make it their job to judge and bully. I hate the models out there that are the pure essence of beauty when they are all bones and skin. I hate the stupid corrupted police system that turns a blind eye to a child being sexually abused because it’ll make their job easier to sit on their lazy asses!
So here I sit in hate with blood dripping from my wrists writing to […]
I’m falling apart and I’m so sick of trying, I’m so fucking sick of it, because I’m fighting so hard and I have been for so long but things are only getting worse no matter what I do.
I’m 17 and this shouldn’t be happening. I’ve been clinically depressed for over a year now, been self harming for a while, and have an eating disorder (bulimia). I’ve taken 2 overdoses in the past and have been admitted to hospital for 1 of these. I’ve also been admitted another 2 times for suicidal ideation/self harm. So that’s my story I guess.
The thought “I don’t want to do this anymore” has been plaguing me. As is my nature, I googled it and this page came up in my search results. Mortified as I was thinking that Google has somehow gained access to my thoughts, I registered.
I am at this very awful space in my life. I have an anxiety disorder, a strange kind because it manifests itself as physical ailments. Because I am constantly sick and my doctors (yes, plural) cannot find a cause for it, I have been labeled a hypochondriac. I have a touch of OCD and when I was younger I was able […]
I like to pretend that my life sucks.
I go through these phases- anorexia one day, cutting the next. Bulimia. Compulsive over eating. As many pain pills as I can handle.
Anything to justify the way I feel,
Like I’m hopeless and useless and better off under the ground.
But I know that I’ve got it good, that there are girls who would kill to spend a day in my shoes.
Which just makes me feel dirtier.
my life as i know it is going to shit. i have no one to trust, no one to turn to. even when i want help i never get it. my meds dont do anything for me. i can help but cut every day. i binge and purge almost ever meal, that is when i decide to eat. i dont want to be here anymore. i dont want to suffer everyday. i dont want to wake up andÂ dread being alive. my lungs ache with every breath i take. why. just why am i here?
People think Iâ€™m happy, but Iâ€™m not. I never tell anyone about my feelings. So i just wanted to share my story here, and say what I donâ€™t have courage to say to people around me.
Apparently, I have a really good life. I have a loving family and lots of friends who care about me. Iâ€™m shy but I always try to be nice and people tend to like me. Iâ€™m a university student and get good marks, I have a part-time job and I still have some time for my hobbies. The problem is, Iâ€™m not happy with that. I donâ€™t know why Iâ€™m […]
Hi I’m 52 and increasingly I am thinking of suicide. I really cant see the point. Pushing yourself, achieving new goals just doesnt have any sense to me at this age.It’s not going to make me happier either. I have a degree a career that I dumped (It is enough to drive anyone barking mad -secondary teacher. too much political correctness.. Fucking awful kids of all races.) I’ve no family. I’ve a husband that is the nicest man I’ve met but never has any f’n money.coz he’s a latino immigrant. He doesnt want to do crime. That’s fair enough.
I frequently think I should […]
Anxiety, depression, Bulimia Nervosa and cronically alone.
After seeking treatment for Comorbid major depressive disorder and Bulimia Nervosa I though I would change and consequently my life would change.Â Reality is a whole lot different. I constantly have suicidal thoughts, high levels on anxiety and extremely low moods.
I find my self in the grips of yet another bad Bulimia time.Â On a good night I eat dinner once and loose it once, on a bad night I might eat 3 and loose 3.Â I do it not to be thin but to ease the anxiety and stress and as an avenue for self harm.Â I am […]
I don’t want to die-on most days. But sometimes I get so depressed it seems like a good solution. It just passes my mind out of the blue when I’m crossing a river or crossing the street. What if.
I thought I’d had it all figured out by now and it’s not like that. Not knowing what to do with your life at 20 isn’t a good idea. I feel like I’m gonna screw up, alone with a boring job I hate, surrounded by people I have nothing in common with, my parents are going to be so disappointed.They are going to die and I’ll […]
On one of the hottest days of August in the year of 1971, a fair Pitty Sweet made her red-carpet entrance into the world. The stories of a difficult birth were told for years, but one thing that was often mentioned was that young Pitty was born quite round.
Survey said she was so round that she could easily roll down the hill to the very bottom on her very own. Her mother insisted on red frilly dresses, but her grandmother not caring for the colour red, put brown dresses on her all almost every single day, and if anyone looked twice they might mistake […]
i know this is suicide help but im caught on running away;
my boyfriend that i love so much and been with for the longest through THE MOST (me cheating, arguing daily, thinking im pregnant, my bulimia & anorexia, self inflicting, and self esteem) may be going to jail because of my mom; we may argue a lot but in the end were more in love than anything you could imagine; i was raped by my moms ex boyfriend and touched by her 2nd ex husband; all of this is coming out as once; and its sooo much pressure and i dont want my boyfriend […]
I dont know anymore what do to , what do think. My girlfriend had anoxeria and bulimia. She got over it.Â But the aftermath is that all the time shes somekind of sick and ill.Â Through the Year she chanced she started to getting annoyed by everythink.Â and she always say i wanna pick a fight or some shit. we still love each other but i cant go on for over a month i havent seen here and always when we wanna see us there is some problem that we cannot see eachother atm it the problem that shes annoyed and she dont want to […]
I’ve been trying to do better these past few days. It seems as though my underlying depression keeps tapping me on the shoulder, knowing when it can come back. Right when I thinkÂ the world is good and dandy, something has to happen that crushes it.
My mother has been my rock for about a week now. She has helped me recover from my bulimia so much in these past few days that I feel like I can never pay her back. Shes kept a strong spirit about the whole situation, but yesterday she crumbled. I’ve so fucking stupid and selfish that I didn’t even realizedÂ how my […]