It was depression that killed the remaining happiness I had left, but it was the same thing that keeps me going. Most of the time? I just want to die, to disappear until there are no ashes, no trace of my existence would be left. To be just nothing, as I am now. But the nothingness wouldn’t be overwhelming. As if I never existed. I always think that life was just a joke that I had to deal with. It’s like a prank I need to face everyday. The more I encounter it, the more it makes me sick. Then later on I wouldn’t notice […]
Ok loves, this article contains many swear words, so if you don’t like swear words, please stay away from this lol. This article is about letting go of the little things in life that drag us down: our insecurities, bullies, dropping your bag of groceries in the middle of the road, etc. http://markmanson.net/not-giving-a-fuck
when he died, I knew there was only one way to see him again….. Death. Every day I see darkness. The rain just pours itself over me. I grab razor after razor until I learn how to feel again. People tell me it will get better. That they’ll be here for me. They say love lasts forever, but even forever expires. And what about the bullies who told me to suck it up? He’s gone and I can’t fix it. He died alone on gravel. And before he died he flew. He flew in impact. It was like a gunshot in the street. And then […]
I’m not secure anymore. My walls were supposed to keep me safe and yet I find I crash and burn. He wasn’t supposed to hurt me. Fathers shouldn’t do that. The abuse, the bullies, the torture…. It’s all too much. I’m not sure how much more I can take
I have no one. My best friend don’t give a f* about me. I had a fight with his friend and he forced me to apologize with them even though it wasn’t fault so i sacrifice my dignity and apologized to them. We were best friend before i had a fight with his friends , he stops hanging out with me and left me sit alone in the class . I start to have my lunch alone in the school , feeling helpless in the class . I tried to overdoes paracetamol and ended up vomited all of them out and i never going to […]
The world? Getting angrier. Society? Getting shittier. People taking their own lives? Is occurring more and more. And the bullies? They never stop. They continue to bring someone down to their death. Everyone asks me what I want in life… I just simply want to be happy and I want world peace. But the happiness? Can happen. But world peace…. never is going to happen.
Im terrified to go to school because there’s bullies there pushing me, teasing me, telling me to go die…. they dont know that I really want to and i barely sleep at night and refuse to leave my room most days. I trap myself in my room and push anyway anyone that tries to help me. I am on the verge of taking away the privilege of living….
If a bar tender is at fault for a intoxicated driver crashing into other cars
Then why aren’t bullies responsible for the death of another innocent child.
I don’t want to go back to school and be bullied even more, and yet i’m still here on this planet. What’s worse, the look on my foster families faces when they see my dead body or the daily torment of bullies?
So, nothing has really changed since my original post of the same name. I have been taking college, mainly for personal than for getting a career since I am pretty much unemployable. As of recent I told my mom when I got out of the military that I was going to eat myself to death, and 8 years later, a month ago my doctor told me that what I am eating is killing me. So perhaps a self fulfilling prophecy? So about the bullying well, for example college won’t do me any good, because society likes to kick people when they are down, if you […]
I’ve had enough with my life now, with the past three years being hellish for me as I have experienced bullying for no reason other then being me, lost many of my friends because I stood up for myself when no one else would and lost my best friends due to love. Having a stutter doesn’t make life easy but instead singles you out as a target for bullies and being shy and not telling anyone of the bullying it ends up going unnoticed but in feb 2013 one person was being ageessive towards me while playing football as he kept punching me in the […]
many times have i told myself that i will succeed in life and be a good person but there’s that voice in my head that bullies me from day in and day out. “you’re no good.”,”that girl is laughing at you right now for being such a retard.”,”Why are you even alive?” questions just flow through my head like nothing. i don’t understand how people expect me to succeed academically when i cant get my mind straight. I get it that school should be my only focus right now but at the same time how can i focus when i have therapy after school, […]
bullies in the army. Some shitbags making fun of Abagis for being gay, he was accepted by us back at basic training. For him to slit his wrists and be chaptered out for his suicide attempts. I want to hurt those bastards for that yet i take no action against my bullies on the homefront in the army. I should just fight back full fledged (starts out with shit talking then gets physical and i punch back and they kick harder and suddenly theyre beating on me in formations. I guess i should be the one beating on them. The. It’ll be fights behind closed […]
I wish of death.
I hate my life so much.
To much drama at school.
Mom thinks everything’s fine.
I’m getting called a slut and guys are asking me inappropriate questions about sex.
I feel dirty from all the stuff I’ve done over the past year.
I’ve gotten insane.
I wish I could just fade.
Fade away into a big, dark hole.
Where I will never be found.
And be alone.
No more drama.
No more relationships.
No more bullies.
Ever felt so broken that nothing can fix you? So shattered that you couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty back together again, even if you wanted to?
Have you ever had anyone fix you? Someone who ran around for weeks and months trying to pick up the pieces of your tattered soul? I did. I felt destroyed before her. Like there was nothing on the inside. She’s gone now, and her leaving made me realise that there really was nothing on the inside. I actually thought she’d fixed me. Not the half assed job that any dipshit in a suit with a PHD was capable of. No, really […]
My life hasn’t been easy. I lost my family in a car crash when i was 2. I get beat, starved and sexually assauled by my adopted family. I cut and attempted suicide 5 times. My stepdad even uses me for sex. I will get tied down and he gets paid for perverts to come in and use me. Ive moved around so much in my life, the longest ive been somewhere was a month 1/2. Ive tried to tell teachers, cops, parents etc. but no one would beilve me because of my ADHD and being in the psych center as much as i have.
Here I am
Here to stay
Fucking happy night and day
Your words mean nothing
Effecting me in no way
Because I am me
I am here to stay
Bully me yeahâ€¦thatâ€™s okay
I donâ€™t listen anyway
You are bigâ€¦
Iâ€™m not afraid
You Bully me
Call me gay
Hell yeah Iâ€™m gay
You pick on meâ€¦if I do say
youâ€™ll get it back soon one day
Yeah Iâ€™m a nerd
thatâ€™s all I get
thatâ€™s considered a compliment
Iâ€™m not like you an idiot
But do your worse
I am up for it
And in the end
Here I am
And dammit […]
I continuously listen Bring Me The Horizon’s song ‘Sempiternal’. Every lyric, every phrase I understand, and relate to. I really am going nowhere, and the scary thing is, I just don’t care. I’ve lost all interest in even the slightest exciting thing in my life. I use to be a great sportswoman. I played for my local soccer club, swimming 3 times a week, and did Taekwondo for around 3 years. I was sooo happy and people often mistaken me for having ADHD, due to my hyper exciting personality. Wow, I miss it. The thing is, something changed. something happened, and it was almost as […]
All my life I have been bullied and felt like I’m worth nothing. But I put it aside and just tried to move on. But then this year I met a girl and we became friends really fast and we became so close. I never knew she would be the one to push me over the edge to make me break. One night she called me stuff that all the bullies would call me. And that broke me. I trusted her and she broke me. After that I became really depressed but I don’t think she ever realized it is because of what […]
Lately I’ve been feeling really sad. I cut myself yesterday and regret it :c idkkkk man.
I feel so alone, and my moms been bringing me down again. She calls me low life and lazy, and asks me when I’m gonna get a job, and what am I gonna study and all this shit. I’m 17 years old, and still young, fuck idk what I want to do or be yet, it’s going to take a long time for me to figure it out. I want to travel and meet people and see things form different perspectives. Why does life have to be so fucking rushed. […]