staggered overdose is what im thinking . I know how painful it is with liver failure but im willing to endure the pain for the end result. Â I just cant bare it not looking like a accident something like a car crash or hanging would be too traumatic on my family .. I always thought pill overdoses were stupid and merely for attetion but now i feel like im left with no other option. suggestions experiences??
It was only recently that I’d stumbled across a site like this, somewhere to put my thoughts, with complete strangers, unbiased views of a life.
As is everyone else for being here, I wish to end my life.
In my family, I am the oldest, naturally, the one with the highest of expectations.
I was also, in all technically, a bastard child, one with a father, if that should even be used, whom left, and said I was being created in the belly of a slut mother, who slept with everyone but him, hereby resulting in me not being blood to him.
As expected, he was simply a coward, Tests came back in my mother’s favour, giving her child support.
During my mother’s pregnancy, She was caught up in multiple dangerous events, a car crash, toxemia (if I did not spell that correct, I apologize.) Labor for two days, and other numerous things.
All in which she was badly hurt, and I should have died.
I did not.
At my birth, She was paralyzed on the left side of her face.
Another thing I had caused.
She had to feed, clothe, and take care of me, being first borne, I was coddled.
I, returned her act’s of kindness and generous behaviours, by being a child from hell.
Wishing her dead, being violent and disruptive.
I regret them now.
Age was no excuse, I should’ve behaved better.
As I grew older, she was married, and had another child.
I was instantly jealous, as expected.
I grew cold to this child.
I’ve done nothing but treat my sister badly.
I’ve done nothing but treat my Mother badly.
I ignored her, now ex husband.
again, my mother tried to find love in the arms of men, time and time again, I would become attatched, until they were abruptly removed for thir cruelty to my mother.
they all said how I was so much like them.
eventually, my mother met one man, and they dated for three years.
in that time, he eventually began ‘lecturing’ me, on the basis of Anatomy.
I will not go into this, because it is shameful for me to have allowed him to do what he had done. I was too scared, and too ashamed to admit what had happened.
So i did not until I was fourteen.
Even then, my shame was at full bloom, I should not have said a word, and naturally, I have not drawn it to the attention of the court.
she eventually left him, and got a restraining order due to him growing violent.
She met a man, at a point, falling in love, moving in with him, I tried to connect, because she was so sure he was the one.
in the end, he hurt her.
but she returned to him.
I tried so hard to reconnect, but in the end, I began to resent him.
He had two children of his own, I liked them somewhat, and they both looked up to me.
It felt nice, having a family.
Eventually, my mother was pregnant, adding yet another girl to our bunch.
I vowed to do better for this one.
there was complications, and the baby needed a trake. (again. I’m sorry if I misspell.)
The baby is currently in a hospital, and Is doing well, she talks and walks, at the age of one, I believe.
The two children of her, now Fiancee, have wronged us, after I grew attatched to them.
My Uncle had made a comment, about the oldest of his grandfather being a pedophile.
In all honesty, I agree, he makes me uncomfortable, and I feel as if he may lash out at anytime.
The person he had told this too, however, was bad, and quickly told said Grandfather and Grandmother of his comment.
they convinced the Fiancee’s children to say my Uncle was a pedophile.
He was banned from seeing his own family, and DCF was involved, though they found no evidence of pedophilia.
He was innocent, but made to suffer.
These children are now forced to live with their mother, due to the Grandparents design.
They constantly heckle my Mother and Her Fiancee.
At one point, the Grandfather chased them down as the Fiancee dropped off his children, called my mother a “Fat Whore” and said he would fight them, attempting to run them off the road.
He then threatened the Fiancee’s Job, saying he would be fired.
In response, my mother nolonger allowed him to see the Baby.
They turned the entire Fiancee’s family against us.
Things have only gone more and more downhill, and I’ve done little to help, forcing my mother to tears with my anger.
I don’t know why I’m Angry.
I don’t know why I’m Sad.
I try everything to keep myself happy.
I lose myself in videogames.
I become interested in TV shows and videos.
Collect Cards and figures.
Anything to try and smile.
they’ve all begun to fall me.
Wanting things is bad, because we have little to no money.
Having likes and dislikes for food is bad, because we barely make it every month.
All I do is gobble up money.
Even worse, I’ve begun to consider becoming a man.
I dropped the idea of sex changes to my Mother, inconspicously, and she said it was an abomination.
I cannot hurt her anymore.
But it seems everything I do is bad.
I’ve run out of reasons to live. The Cons outweigh the Pros.
I understand that my family will miss me, perhaps even my friends, but only because I’m human.
In time, they will forget about me, just as they have with other dead.
I’ve been thinking of mixing Ammonia and Bleach, due to those being easy household chemicals.
I tried to make a pact with myself to live until Twenty, But I can’t make it.
I’m never happy.
I don’t help anyone but myself.
I only hinder.
I need to stop hindering
so what to do at 37 and now lifes grenade explodes in the form of a car crash? not that is has been rough at all. just fought drug addiction for 20 years. went to prison for almost 8. finally think the pin is back in the device and BOOM! i almost die. 3 months of hospital, i now have 20+ inches of scar tissue and 47 peices of metal in me. cant walk right, left hand is almost useless and im just never going to be the same. Â life is good. i used to say andthink that. i have a new outlook. daily i ponder what the other side will bring. ive seen and been a part of stuff people only dream about. its time to take a rest. regrets? 2, i never got married and have no children. been way too busy being selfish. Guess one last act to finish the book.
Why is it so hard for me to let people in? Why do I put on a mask and hide my emotions? I can almost feel a curtain come down, blocking my soul from whoever may be there.
I just don’t know what to do. I feel stuck,trapped oddly enough by my family. My husband has too much at work, and I don’t know how my kids would handle me having a second stay in the hospital in one year. That’s why the permanent solution keeps rolling around in my brain. Just be done with all of this. There’s a part of me that wishes my family gone for the simple fact that I would certainly be dead by now. Then I feel guilty for not just thinking that thought, but even typing it here.
I am tired of being the one. I am my mom’s caretaker and I am the one who has to go to all of her appointments with her, get her meds, make new appointments, cook, clean, and basically everything else. Then there’s my sister. She is handicapped and I fear that sooner or later I’m going to have to take care of her too. I don’t want these jobs anymore. It’s been almost 2 years. I don’t want anything, to be honest, but to disappear. To end all of this emotionally,mentally, physically, draining things. But I’m too chicken shit. I’m a coward. I would rather die at the hands of the cancer that I fought so hard to beat, or a car crash, because then in death I would not be hated any more than I am now. What they hell is wrong with me?I’m worrying about what people will think of me when I’m gone?
I gave in to my cutting urges. It was so unsatisfying. Why? I was disappointed in the lack of release it use to give me. Sad. So what’s the next step? What could replace that release? I have no idea. I just had an incredibly strong urge to punch something. It came from my gut,in to my mind, wanting to destroy something. And really, it doesn’t matter if it’s an object or myself. Anything to let this rage out. Fuck. It’s hard trying to reign these feelings in.
rope, beam, stool, sits in a cardboard box, so a friend committed suicide by hanging, wife found him strangled on a beam located in master bedroom, been thinking about doing similar thing except its just me in the garage, my dad died when i was young, thats when i learned the true meaning of death, meaning your not coming back. told friends “hey i want to kill myself” in junior high, and high school, they looked at me weird yet it didn’t hit me as weird to do so. even my teachers noticed in my writing while doing essays in class. then i realized maybe i just wanted some attention, every so often i’d think about ways how to do so, drowning cause i know i can’t swim, blade nah takes too long to bleed in wrist, gun is quick but can’t get a hold of one, car crash? no i want to give it to someone as a memoir, i know death by rope! every night i would have the same reoccurring dream of me hanging my self and taking my last breath, with a plastic bag over my head, my legs swaying back and forth while the rope tightly wrapped around my neck as it is tied to wooden beam in the cold dark garage, then id wake up crying in tears sobbing asking myself “why do i keep thinking about this…?” i know god gave me life and for myself to take it away idk…still, it sits there waiting for me. rope, beam, stool
So I guess you had to leave, You were born with wings, But you were never happy, ‘Til the angels sing….
Okay, So urm… I’ve decided that the only place, really that I should complain about my life is on here. I just don’t wanna hurt the people around me anymore….
On Saturday- A new friend showed me the song Hollywood Undead- Coming back down. I had it in my head for ages, Just over-analyzing it. I had this horrible feeling (partly to do with “voices”?) that we’re all going to die…. I literally went crazy over this.
Monday Night- Nick’s cousin is in a car crash, And unfortunately Dies. R.I.P
Today- I have came to a sort of conclusion that people are going to keep dying until i’m gone…. I think they want me to… well, go. I don’t wanna say it, Will probably start crying again -_- Anyway, Until that happens they are going to keep fucking with my head, Making everything seem like my fault?
This may explain why I have become increasingly suicidal over the last view days. It’s mentally destroying me.
I just…. Don’t know what to do anymore.
Well, this is my first post on here, so might as well tell you why I’m here.
I had the perfect life, weren’t many people in it but those I had were the best. I depended mostly on my best friend and boyfriend. I was doing great with studying. I didn’t speak to my parents much but when I did they were friendly and supportive.
I had been with my boyfriend for 9 months, but it felt like forever, which isn’t a bad thing. We rarely argued and when we did we were quick to forgive each other. We often talked about the future and I convinced myself it was all going to happen, marriage, kids, the lot. Then one day he said something which concerned me, he told me he wished to stop talking about marriage and children incase it didn’t happen so we wouldn’t be hurt if we broke up. This made me think because I would be hurt if we broke up already, if we stopped talking about the future or not and if he thought like that, he obviously didn’t feel the same way about me as I did him.
I brought it up with him and he told me the reason he suggested this was due to his lesbian friend who had recently lost her girlfriend in a car crash and she was now suicidal. I would have believe it but some details he informed me didn’t make sense, like this friend lived abroad and only contacted him through Facebook and was currently in a mental asylum, how many mental asylums do you know which let the patients use Facebook?
When I pointed out the faults in his story he just gave in and told me he didn’t love me anymore, he was leaving, and that was that. He just went. Within two days he was claiming to have found someone new and I barely knew what had hit me.
I found out I was pregnant with his baby about a month later, I quickly had it aborted but told my ex I had a miscarriage due to his antiabortion beliefs.
As much as I tried to get over him I found myself spiralling into depression, this effected my studying, which turned my parents against me, they knew my situation but said my slow in learning was due to laziness, which it truly wasn’t. I began to cut and I turned to my last source, my best friend, for help. Unfortunately she told me if I continued like this and didn’t pull myself together she would have no-one, hinting she would leave if I kept on the way I was. I tried desperately to collect the pieces before I lost the little I had left, but I didn’t succeed. She slowly started to cut off ties with me and I found myself alone.
I still love the man who started this entire thing, but whenever I see him he looks so happy and I feel selfish to plague him with the things I can’t let go of. On the few occasions I have tried to talk to him he turns it all on me. I was by no means perfect during our relationship but I wasn’t a girlfriend from hell either.
Now I find myself along with nothing but a computer screen to turn to. So here I am.
I’d gone so long without cutting. Months. Tonight, I get into a car crash, second one in a year, and now everything is apparently falling to shit. Mom is saying I ruined her life. Everything just always has to fuck up. I was doing so well, I was doing fine. Now, here I am slicing my arm and deciding the easiest way to kill myself. I just wanna do it. I’ve been thinking about it for over a year, I need to just do it. Kill myself and it’s over, then everything will go away.
This is my note. This is the only place my note will ever be, because I’m too much of a coward to actually go through with this.
I’m nothing, I mean nothing to myself. I would really rather disappear into nothing. Scatter myself into a thousand and one atoms, floating peacefully in space. Instead I’m stuck here, in this colourless hell. The only person i can talk to won’t listen, I can’t tell her anyway. I love her too much to let her bear this.
Anyway, my name is Sian. I’m nearly sixteen, I have blonde hair and brown eyes. I’m a dancer, that’s how I define myself. I write poetry and I love cupcakes. And I want to die.
I don’t want to die horribly, I wouldn’t be able to put myself in a car crash nor would I be brave enough to slice a vein down my arm open. I would like to die quietly, peacefully. I want to drift off to sleep and never have to wake up. I don’t know why I want this, I just know that anything is better than this feeling of utter worthlessness and emptiness.
If I could I would swallow an entire packet of my antibiotics, mix it up with as many painkillers as I could find and wash the whole thing down with any sort of horrible alcohol I could find. If I were brave enough, I would do it. I would do it happily, I would drift off to sleep – just like I’ve wanted for months.
But I’m not brave enough, for no reason other than I don’t want to hurt the people I care about. I can’t bear to picture whoever would find me, I can’t handle to imagine their reactions. I would never want to be found by anyone who loves me, or who I love. What if I could just disappear into nothingness, then nobody would have to find me. I could just fly away.
Anyway. This was my note. My note that I’ll never use, because I’m too much of a coward.
But I would if I could.
This was taken the last day of being at a GroupHome the First time I was in it, as u can see I am very happy And all Smiles. I wanted to Escape and get away from it, as u can see I am the only white girl, I’m very self conscious that’s why I’m slanted cause I don’t like being Tall, Everyone Where I live is normally 5’1 and 5’0 but im 5’4 1/2 so I get self conscious , I Also Ran-away from this GroupHome, the staff were horrible I couldn’t Visit my family and I was Basically ridiculed for breaking out and not having the perfect skin everyone else has, I Started Tanning to make me look Darker and Too look like a Mexican cause i was made Fun of for being white, I just never fit in. I remember Crying In my room because 2 close friends of mine passed away in a car crash , and one staff member made a remark ” No wonder your parents say the things they say about you” …. I Started Cutting and wanted to leave this earth. BUT I Didn’t! I stated strong and Thankfully a Family member took me in away from CPS.. This picture was Taken 2010
That’s it, unless something sudden and dramatic happens that changes the way I feel (like my mum and brother die in a car crash – I cam dream) I am going to do it. I can’t actually get myself to say what I am doing because I see it as falling asleep, only you never wake up. It’s peaceful and calming, its freedom andÂ happinessÂ all in one. The ‘S’ word used to describe it sounds malicious and destructive, so I’m going to fall asleep, pass away peacefully. Thank you for all your support and I hope that someone out their can help you.
Im tired n going to fix that someday, if you know what pain is i can promise you that the pain i have is on a level so high that no painkillers helps, o nice…
I just dont want to wake up tomorrow, i just dont want to do that.
In my eyes life isnt worth living in anymore, there havent been a painfree day in my head since 1983 after a car crash, i died in that crash but somehow they got me back, my biggest misstake in life. Took over a year to learn to walk again after this accident.
Got a job in a tarp business and started to weld big sheets together, it didnt take 3 years i started to get problems in this job.
As stupid as i was i got more stubborn and worked even harder now when i got a family of my own.
Due to the hard work i started to get damages on my body.
Shoulders, elbows, wrists and a knee that i worked with during a period of 5 1/2 year ( cracked kneecap ) and 1 day i stopped, the knee was operated and noooo, the pain goes up on the surgery 3 times more pain.
Trying to get back to life to often but every time seen the signs that doesnt allow me to do so.
So what i wait for now is just my upcoming act when it comes, and come it will.
3 hrs sleep a night since 1983 makes wonders in or on a mind, and this pain gee.
What to say: It was not to be
There have been several good episodes in my life, but as I look back I realize that the good ones would last just for a little while and the worst ones go on for years or will be there for the rest of my life.
A little more than 8 years ago I had a terrible car crash – I should be grateful about having survived with almost no injuries, but sometimes I wish I had died instantly instead because even prior to that I was a lonely freak and later on everything just got worse and worse.
So then I went to university and slipped deeper and deeper into alcoholism and loneliness. Although I knew literally more than a thousand people I was feeling more and more miserable. As usual I was unable to find a partner because I would cheat on them even if we’ve just got together and sometimes I would not even start to try anything because I have never been feeling good enough for anybody.
A few years went on that way and one day I’ve got offered to participate in an art project – it failed due to the financial crisis and at the same time I’ve got fired, had to move back to my mother, so basically my head just went nuts, almost overdosed on various stuff and it all ended up with becoming a thief and almost getting jailed. Had one year on probation and I really hated it – because I’ve heard that many get thrown into prison just because they don’t manage to get a job and I did not, so basically I’ve spent a whole year scared all the time and my self-esteem would just go down.
One really good thing happened right after my probation time ended – I’ve met one of the greatest girls ever, we had such an amazing sexual connection I’ve never experienced before, after half a year we were dating actively. Then I had my first real trip aboard. But then the next junk happened to me – I’ve got terribly beaten up by some strangers, lost one of my front teeth. Around the same time I’ve got offered a job – finally, after two years I had a job but I had to leave the town I was living and the girl too for a while.
That was the first time ever I had a job that I actually loved – I enjoyed it so much that I was even thinking about moving to that town forever, getting my own appartment (I was living with my sister then) – I got a replacement for my tooth and was once again able to feel sexy again. But then after 3 months I get fired and was being replaced by a student to whom that guy did not have to pay a salary.
WHOA – so I’m back at my mother’s house, all my plans about having my own appartment ruined, desperately seeking for a job already for 4 months now, the girl was dating somebody else already.
I was all fine with this situation at first, I’ve tried coping with it by “being positive about the future”, but then one month passed by…two months passed by…three months passed by and I caught myself writing suicide letters instead of positive stuff – there is nothing to do in my town, no jobs, the same people all the time, I have to ask my mother for money and I’M ALMOST 27 YEARS OLD – I sleep in a single bed, I have never ever taken girls with me at home and so far I have dated only one in this damn town. Not that I would look awful – actually I’m real hot when it comes to getting attention but my mental state would ruin anything.
I feel like a complete looser, I cannot go to live elsewhere because there just ain’t no jobs around I would fit, but on the other hand I freakin’ don’t want to be at my mother’s house at my age – it’s really freaking me out, so basically I spend all the day outside walking aimlessly around, sometimes taking a walk in the woods and when I go to sleep I cry like I’ve never did before. My sex drive is below zero.
I have been suicidal in my past several times but it feels more and more realistic right now.
And nobody cares. 3-4 days ago i got into a car accident in front my school. I was hurt, and the only people who seemed like they really cared was…my mom and my teacher. I mean I know im not dead or anything, but it kind of hurts….because, well, months ago my friend got into a car crash also. People messaged her on facebook…..Like literally everyone was on her wall post saying stuff, i messaged her asking if she wanted me to visit her, everything. Everyone was worried. but me? no. Somebody LAUGHED at the fact that i got into the accident. He laughed. I only know one friend who actually cared and was more worried about me than my car. Nobody messaged me, or anything. It just…really makes me think and wonder, Maybe i should die? you know, nobody would care im pretty sure. I mean i havent been back in school since, but….idk. it just hurts to know only 3 people care about you. I wish i would have died in that accident.
or it certainly seems and feels like I will.
I have had mental health problems for years now and I have always actively tried to help myself. I have always sought help and have been medicated for a long time. I think it was hard because I was never ill enough for it to be noticed by anyone but ill enough for it to interfere with my life daily.
I just hate myself. Every time I close my eyes, my mind is screaming for me to end it. I just cant do it any more and I have no other choice. I have never visualised myself being old. I think I was always supposed to kill myself. I always knew I would do it one day. Guess it was just a matter of when and how.
I cant stand the cruelty, despair and sadness in this world. It drives me insane that i cant do anything to help. I am such an insignificant human being.
I have started writing goodbye letters, so this time i guess it must be serious. I would like to hope not. I just don’t see any other choice.
I have had a few ideas, I think about it numerous times a day. I think it will be large quantities of opiates, slit wrists or a very fast car crash.
I have never really been able to speak to anyone about this properly. Even to the mental health team I was under. I just couldn’t speak to them. Its such a taboo subject I have never wanted anyone to know how I feel. I worry it would freak out my friends and family and they would treat me differently.
I am a horrid person, i have done some horrid things. I simply don’t deserve to be alive any more.
I have an email address. Becki_one@yahoo.com If you relate to me, email me. Don’t email me with don’t do it emails or god bothering rubbish, because im simply not interested.
I will contact The Samaritans and everything within my power to help myself, but I don’t think its going to work this time. I am beginning to think it is just a matter of when not if now.
I miss being happy.
I find myself wishing by chance someone will just hit me in a car crash. Shoot me. Stab me. Beat me into a coma. Hell there is bleach in the next room.
I don’t know why I’m so sad, I wrote on here the other day thinking it would help. My life is good after all I am just so tired of looking like I’m so happy when I am not. It takes work putting on a constant show and making appearance. I want to cry…..
So i just got out of the hospital for overdose about two days ago. Actually it wasnt the hospital it was the er. I spent most of my time there in four point restraints since i kept trying to leave. The only reason i wanted to leave was because i hate being in the crazy section of the er cause thats were the gaurds are and there not so nice. Then they put moved me next to a baby getting a spinal tap in case you dont know what that is its a needle in your spine i still hear the screaming in my head. I dont know why i did it psychiatrist think theres a reason for everything but my mind went numb when i did it so i didnt feel anything and thats the truth. I felt a little guilty before hand because my sister got into a car crash the day before and my sisters friend told us she knew a girl that hung herself and happened to be in the same er as me that night. I made up some excuse about why i did it to the doctor and told him i wasnt trying to kill myself. I told him this because im afraid of mental hospitals. Really afraid. I get a bit out of control in there and do stuff thats just not me. Im not crazy but i have done some stupid things in those places one time it was pulling fire alarms another time it was jumping over counters. But i go to the er and im always asked why are you here i f you dont want help and i think to myself what the hell are you supposed to do if you overdosed. Im probably not making any sense but i need to get this out. I dont even think i really wanted to kill myself otherwise i would have took them all but i still have several pills left that will probably used at a later date and the result will be nothing will come of it. To prove it after i got out of the er i went to an african party upstairs in my apartments
I had surgery two weeks ago after car crash and they used cadaver, a dead person’s body parts to keep me going. This totally freaks me out. Try getting that thought out of your head!
So i have been having horriable thoughts lately and i am not sure i want them be real ..people treat me like crap and i can’t pretend its ok all the time. it bothers me all the time. i can’t stay here. my ex is engaged ..Â i loved him more than anyone .. and he let his fiance talk down to me .. ive been talked down to my whole life.. i can’t keep being a push over .. i know that im not pretty .. im not skinny … im not good enough for anyone .. all my friends are happy .. my family is happy .. except me … i will never be happy .. i cant be happy in my life .. people look at me like im the biggest loser in school. when im really not but i think if i left this world it would make it so much better .. i dont cut or burn or anything like that because my parents are so close with me but .. i dont them see me so unhappy. only at school is where i can express my feelings .. by crying . when i cry i feel like im venting …Â but nick my ex was the best thing i could ever get . and i was dumb and lost him . ive wanted to try drugs drinking and smoking .. but im scared .. i dont want to get addicted..i dont think i can stand here much longer .. i need to get rid of this life.. i cant stay here hopeing that i can be happy .. i wont be happy … i pretty much cry my self to sleep everynite .. i dont let my teachers see me sad because they will send me to my counsler and they will call my parents if they read thisÂ they will be sad and send me somwhere to get help … that is the last thing i want to happen to me ..Â i want to end life durring this summer .. or be killed in sad car crash or be shot .. anything than being here ..Nick is my everything and he wouldnt care if i died .. maybe i should … i love nick too much to give up on him…Â but im waiting till summer or next fall to completely give up and let life say goodbye for good .. my friends say they would miss me but it is kinda hard to believe them when they talk bout me.. i seriuosly need help .. my mind is soooo messed up .. all i think about is suicide… or getting killed … or being beaten to death… but ill write when i can.. i promise that i will keep living till the lord lets me go… which wont be for a while…
I realize that there are many of you who are in the same amount or worse pain than I am. I need to tell my story, and hope that someone can help me.
The past five years have been a nightmare for me.Â One of my very closest friends died at the age of 48 from a brain tumor.Â My Mom had a stroke, and then died last year from cancer after receiving a cancer-free diagnosis only a month before.Â IÂ lived with her and was her primary caretaker for four years.Â I asked my family if I could live in our home until January (I would pay rent), but received an eviction letter from my brother, the executor of her will.Â I moved into an apartment with my dog, Frazier, literally in the middle of the night.Â He has separation anxiety and barks when left in the apartmentÂ , so this has been a real problem.Â I have a defibrillator and damaged left ventricle due to a virus that attacked my heart three years ago.Â Also in 2007, I was almost killed in a car crash when hit by a van making an illegal turn.Â The next week, I lost a job that provided a good portion of my income.Â
I am so depressed that all I can think about is leaving this earth.Â I have always tried to be a good person.Â I teach part-time at a college, but there has been no work this summer semester.Â I also work part-time at a veterinary clinic.Â My goal in life is to be a veterinarian.Â I have a chance to possibly goÂ to veterinary school next year if I can update my biology courses and keep myÂ self together. I am so afraid that I will have to give my dog (my best friend) away as I have to find a job.Â I can place him in foster care for a month until I can make arrangements to get him back.Â I have lost cotact with most of my friends (who wants to be with someone who is financially and emotionally struggling?)
Everyone tells me that there is hope.Â I do have an excellent counselor, but she can’t be with me every moment.Â I’m so afraid that life is only going to get worse!
Thank you very much for listening.Â Any advice will be most appreciated.
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Take care.