Tag:

Catalyst

Like a relapse…

by clevername 7/6/2013

written by clevername

I just caved and wrote to the wrong person.

It had been a while, but i know that writing is at best futile, and at worst, potentially problem-causing.

But just the other day, i had a series of “seemingly connected experiences,” which resulted in… memories, thoughts, feelings i just couldn’t shake, and they wanted control… and i lost that battle. Maybe i forfeited. Maybe i hate my vulnerability so much that i lash out at any little thing that might expose or exploit it. When something is going to hit you where it hurts, the only “right way” to react, is to “go all in,” and either […]

7/6/2013 31 comments

sobriety is for quitters

by kristink 5/1/2013

written by kristink

well it hasn’t been a whole day on a new dose and i have been naughty already. one is not supposed to drink alcohol while taking a certain anti-depressant that starts with a c. we went out to eat and i had a couple of drinks. interesting that my heart started hurting. like it was being squeezed or something. that was after2 drinks. guess i probably should not find out what a bender feels like. of course i was also indulging in other things as well. expecting me to embrace total sobriety is a waste of time. it is not likely to happen anytime soon. […]

5/1/2013 7 comments

The right to die

by White Raven 8/18/2012

written by White Raven

It was never about some great tragedy that befell me, making me lose the will to live. Although I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth I have not lived through any great traumas. My mother was diagnosed with depression when I was very young, and although that was not easy by any stretch of the imagination, my parents somehow managed to raise me in a fairly stable home, where I was allowed to express myself and become a somewhat strong individual. In all fairness, the bloodline of my mother does have a history of mental problems, but apart from some underlying […]

8/18/2012 13 comments

At a Crossroads: Relationships

by Zeddex 6/11/2012

written by Zeddex

“My name is unimportant. I am neither male, nor female. My age has no relevance to my grief.Â Consider me a faceless representation of depression. An anonymous death seeker. A hopeless nobody.”

I’ve met someone. At this point in time I can’t decide whether it’s a blessing or a curse, a cure to my life-long battle with depression, or a catalyst. This someone is special. The way I feel when I’m with them is astonishing. I feel happy, and content with myself. I feel at ease. At peace. And when I am with them it feels like my troubles have slipped through my […]

6/11/2012 1 comment

this is my story. i guess.

by babypanda 2/2/2012

written by babypanda

Well, I guess I should start at the beginning. Â When I was in fifth grade, I was diagnosed with ADD. Â ADD makes it hard for me to focus for very long. Â Fifth grade was a very difficult year for me. Â I have always been a bit unique. Â I never really fit in. Â I listened to Christen music, which no one else thought was cool, even though I went to a Catholic school. Â I was made fun of for listening to TobyMac, who certain peers called “BigMac,” for reasons unknown to me. Â I told a guy I had like since second grade that I liked him […]

2/2/2012 5 comments

The day my life ends is pretty much the only thing I look forward to.

by thelovepigeon 1/11/2012

written by thelovepigeon

About four years ago, my life fell apart with no catalyst. I suddenly realised just how futile my existence was. I was in a job I didn’t enjoy that fed nothing but the pockets of some well seated theatre types, I lived on my own and was miles away from any of my friends. All of my life I’ve felt I’ve never really contributed to anything, materially, socially or emotionally. I was utterly isolated and I knew nobody missed me. Right now, I’m in a different job, living in a flat with a friend who, since moving in with me, has made it patently clearÂ that […]

1/11/2012 2 comments