THIS WAS ORIGINALLY WRITTEN IN APRIL 2012. I was still a lurker here back then. I didn’t have the confidence to share this.  It paints a pretty accurate picture of where I was at back then. I thought someone may be interested.
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My therapist is correct. The two underlying threads of my life have been seeking approval, and escapism. When I don’t get approval, I need to escape. I can’t give myself approval as I feel it is not warranted, therefore my only option is to escape. If not getting the approval in my relationships that I feel I need, I usually escape by withdrawal. However, I have […]
Tag:
Cessation
I am writing this down for its (hopefully) therapeutic value. My hope is that upon reading this over I will realize the inherent ridiculousness of the position being advanced by this tract and be able to move on with my life. Here goes nothing.
I want nothing. I would rather not exist. I would rather never have existed, but since this is impossible, I wish to die. I do not want to hurt anyone through the cessation of my existence. I simply want to not exist. I have lived for 24 years and the only happiness I have ever felt has been fleeting and momentary. Would […]