The driver had taken two candyflips earlier that day (acid and molly tabs) at the show. After the show, we went to an after party at someone’s house. Driver may have drank, I don’t know. But by the time I had to go, it was much after three in the morning…he wasn’t high anymore, just tired from being so high. We left, and he was swerving all over the place. My anxiety with cars has always been pretty bad, so my voice got caught in my throat and I couldn’t tell him to pull over. I closed my eyes on the highway after valley west […]
Tag:
Closing My Eyes
I was scared .. I am scared. Everyone needs saving, even I do. I need it but I don’t want it. I don’t want the cliched lecture that things will get better or the sympathetic conversation that reveals your place in our relationship that you’re there for me. Â I don’t want empty words to stall my decisions or help me to even consider changing my mind. I think about it all the time. I have set myself to learn to be content with death. I think of where my soul might go .. drifting through the darkness and blackness of empty space that seems to […]
I’m that guy that has been shit on more than anybody knows. Early days as a kid I was harassed daily and tormented by fellow classmates because of my mothers crack addiction. The only reason they knew was because their parents did drugs along with my mother. Was born with a bad foot which pretty much opted me out of any sports or doing well as I could. Shyness throughout the years was difficult to deal with as I learned to talk to females and learn what they wanted and what they saw. My father has been in prison all my life and haven’t read […]
life has always been cruel, takes everything that makes any good away from me. never had nothing, until i meet her. then just as fast as closing my eyes things had sense. but the way the world is, tries as much as he can to get me away from happiness. did everything it could, our love has always been so strong, but i still afraid of losing  her. lose the only thing that putted me back dreaming again. my luck has never been good, every possible misunderstood that happens can be solved, but not all them.if luck is not with you, one message on the […]
Finally put the bag over my head and tied it. Closing my eyes and listening to my breathing get faster and faster. Felt nice actually. What made me take it off? My sister. She’s the first one home. The image of my innocent little sister walking in to me laying on the floor with a bag over my head. The thought of her being scarred with that image. I’m going to do it tonight. Not in my house, and not with a bag. Leaving a suicide letter for my mom to find. Since she’s the first one up. I’m still wondering how I went from […]
All of the beautiful lies.., all the empty promises.., ignorance and stupidity bringing me to lay in my mistakes. Unable to run,, nor hide. Suffocating in fear. Closing my eyes, unable to protect me or hold me tight. Tears rushing to satisfy my pain. The cut that wanted to make me forget.., only bringing more memories. Stuck in the past. Unsure of the future. Slipping through the cracks. Surviving but not living. Always miserable and never happy. Don’t worry little butterfly.., life gets better.