I’m sat in my bed at 25 minutes to midnight, trying to ignore my exhaustion in order to let my thoughts flow freely. I am not suicidal- yet. I don’t doubt that I possibly could be, someday, but for now I simply wish that I was. Sounds ridiculous, right? It makes sense to me. My current viewpoint on life is toxic to me, of that I’m aware, and that is because my mind is brutally honest when it comes to ‘the meaning of life’ and similar topics. My own mortality, along with everyone else’s, is what prevents me from being genuinely happy. I’m all too […]
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complete waste
Hi guys. I’m still here! And by here, I mean alive. Maybe I don’t feel all mentally there 100% of the time. I’m not recovered by any means. But, I’m significantly better. Medicated with prescriptions that work so well for me. I’ve changed. I don’t care what anyone thinks of me. I have more friends now. I have a boyfriend. Yeah, he lives in England and I’m in the USA. It’s not ideal. But I’ve never been so in love in my life. Am I allowed to write shit like this? Am I allowed to be happy? Regardless, I’m dying to share what I’ve been […]
I don’t know what the hell I’m doing anymore. Almost feels like I am just wasting life away. I have no idea what I want to do in life. I thought I had it figured out in high school, but when I realized I wasn’t able to afford university, I felt depressed. The reason I got good grades in school was to get into university; now I had to settle with community college. And if I was going to community college, what was the point of getting good grades? What’s the point of straight A’s if you go to community college? They don’t care. When […]