i cant believe ive actually resorted to this. expressing myself to a computer screen and to people i dont even know. maybe it will help.
doubt it.
Tag:
Computer Screen
Here I am sitting in front of a computer screen, having tears run down my cheeks. I just need to let this all out. I was born abroad and faced tons of bullying when I came to where I am now. Started in 2nd grade and it never ended in elementary or middle school. I never made much friends until Middle School. I was in a clique, were weren’t close; it was simply to gain an advantage over each other for selfish purposes like getting good grades. I saw everyone in a race, in a race of being the best in academics. I was smart, […]
Hey guys! I’ve noticed a lot of negative energy surpassing my computer screen and mingling with my mind reading your life stories. I honestly think that it’s time we change our ways or at least attempt to make our lives brighter. Many of us are young and struggling with the convoluted ways of life while others are a bit older, wondering how you made it this far. Many of us don’t know what to do with life; you’re simply stuck. Many of us were/are sexually, mentally, verbally and physically abused. Many of us feel  like life is nothing but a tragedy. (Trust me, I’ve been everywhere you have).  However, if we […]
I thought my husband was over his porn addiction and just didn’t want to have sex with me. But I discovered that he is not, and the fact that he masturbates regularly at work is the reason.
Why are we even married if a computer screen and his hand can do the job just fine? What am I here for? The dishes, finances, and laundry.
Fuck that. He can get along by himself just fine. He shows no interest in me sexually, he lies to me, and on the days he does come home and have sex with me it’s after he views these images […]
When I was a kid I used to climb rocks and mountains, this one time I slipped and was hanging on the edge of a rock, the fall would have certainly resulted in my demise. I was scared, but then I looked down and for some reason I felt more alive there hanging so close to death. I felt so much life in me on that cliff.
10 years latter, I have finished my education, a bachelors degree and latter a masters degree in computer science and with good grades. I have a pretty decent job. I have pretty much accomplished what ever I was […]
I know it will it is just the details I want to fill in. I see knifes and I get ideas. I see my moms diabetic medication and I get ideas. I go to school I walk upon the top of the staircase and I see the bottom and I  get ideas.  I today held a knife and pointed it to my chest. I know I’m not afraid of dying. I’m sick of being treated like shit. I am infected with the misery decease which was stung into my heart by the needle of destruction. I see my money and I see guns online and I […]
Today I set a date for checking out. I’ve chosen a method but have to do a bit more research. I’m nervous about it since I’ve tried killing myself a few times before and have bad luck and am spacey. I seem to survive strange things, like getting hit by a truck going 60 mph (I wasn’t in a car, was on the side of the road). This was not a suicide attempt–the guy was on coke and ran the car off the road–but just something that happened. I’ve also survived a savage dog attack where I got over 70 puncture wounds, lost some use […]
I want to share my story, it will take a while but the details are important. It’s a long one. I left some things out, like my utterly deranged sexuality. I hope that someone out there will read this and know that they really don’t have it so bad.
I live in the shadow of my past.
I was not abused, none of my family or friends have died, I am privileged and well off financially. My mom left my dad when I was 3, he was an abusive alcoholic.
I am attractive, intelligent, clever, creative, witty, inventive, all that good stuff. Despite all these things, I am […]