My kind of suicide isn’t suicide at all, as funny as that may sound.
The way I see it is that I don’t have to take my own life, life will take it for me. All I have to do is live. I mean, even if I get stricken with cancer I can be thankful I won’t live to an old age where I’m helpless, just get it over with. That’s worth the pain I think. I’ve seen an old friend die of cancer, in comparison to other ways one can go out, it didn’t seem that bad the way it hit him quick. And […]
I know its there, ive felt it before. I must find it. I didnt know i could feel so good and alive. It comes so naturally to most other people. But for me o have tp get it from alcohol or abuse of my perscription drugs. The feeling of clearance, contentment, knowing what i want. Actually joy, insane cobfidence in myself. I know what ive been missing all my life. Its so frusterating to thonk that ove been deprived of it all my life while others ignorantly take it for granted.
Why cant i have these goos feelings of confidence and joy regularly?
I am desperate […]
Before I start, here’s some background…clinically depressed 31 yr old female, on 30mg citalopram (celexa) for the last 3+ years, last 6-9 months been feeling progressively worse, last 3 months suicidal, changed to sertraline (Zoloft) 6 weeks ago.
at the moment I feel, we’ll, not much really, not happy, not sad, not suicidal. Uninterested I guess. I find it difficult to concentrate for long, flit from thing to thing, and can’t really say I get any enjoyment out of anything I do…not that I dislike what I’m doing – I guess this could almost be a feeling of contentment(?!) apart from one thing. I feel like […]
So I’ve struggled with depression for years now. I’d say since I was about 13-14. Middle school was when I first contemplated suicide & it was after my very first boyfriend broke up with me. We didn’t date very long & things never got past first base. I’ve always been an emotional person, letting things get to me that shouldn’t.
Well over the years I’ve had my fair share of boyfriends (back to back really), and I wear my heart on my sleeve. I’ve realized I may have developed some co-dependency issues from the lack of knowing how to be alone. And to this day, guys […]
Everyday I dream of winter. Â The warm blankets wrapped around me, while I stare out at the dark moonlit night, watching snowflakes drift past my window. Â This saddening feeling, of utter loss, while the sky and ground alike form puddles. Â Bending and twisting, falling and repeating, tears roll down my tired, worn out cheeks. Â The door closed behind me, the window open wide. Â A cold wind twists my hair about, ending in a messy curl about my neck. Â Memories slowly happen again before my eyes, reliving past joys. Â This old woman, with tears still in her eyes, smiles sweetly and warmly, before saying goodbye to […]
This is what some people believe. When one cuts through whatever emotion one is feeling right now, it’s rooted in either love or fear.
I believe that the reason that we have come to this site is because we have let fear-based emotions rule our lives. Anger, hate, frustration, anxiety, sadness, shame, regret … these feelings are all fundamentally driven by fear. In my case, I’m angry at myself. I hate my work situation. I feel great shame in being a burden on so many people. I’m frustrated by my relationship. I regret not having the balls to be true to myself – this lack of […]
personality keeps splintering, can’t choose a way to be, it’s tiring carrying on multiple faces. What am I talking about? Am I insane. I laughed when I read daniel radcliffe was drunk during a bunch of the harry potter scenes; i laughed to tears. Addicitve personalities man.. i started back drinking coffee again, appetites completely gone, was doing so good eating naturally.. had chocolate this morning after 2 months off.. was doing so well
i was set on not coming back here ever, set on trying harder to be positive, but even then I knew that it was the lingering buzz of the nights events still […]
I always have such grand ideas for things to do during my lunch hour but I usually end up lazily browsing the national post website and wallowing in some self pity.
I would rather not have been born; I think all the time how I hate the various sensations that go along with occupying a living body. It’s all so draining, trying to find some level of contentment… I dunno.
I feel like, some time ago, I experienced heaven, but now I’m here. I’ve completely forgotten the experience of perfect happiness except for the lingering feeling that I’ve been better. I long for non-existence.
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