Wouldn’t it be better if everyone of us could live in his/her own unique madness?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7YEVP4r2ok
Lyrics:
Leave the madman in his madness
And don’t try to bring him to his senses
You don’t know what is hidden
Inside the mind of a madman
–
He might find in his madness
Everything he has desired
And wasn’t able
To see and to obtain
–
Leave the madman in his madness
Leave him in his dream
He’s been sick and tired of this world
And he created one of his own
I would say I had a terrible childhood. But it wouldn’t be true. I wasn’t popular, but never severely bullied either. I was your normal nerd, with good grades (but not too good), few friends and a passion for books. And that’s everything I remember from then.
When I was about 15, I started to understand the world. I felt frustrated by not having answer to some questions, and started looking deeper into myself and into the world. I rationalized everything, and got a working schema of reality. I thought that was all, and was anxious to get that knowledge to the rest of the people. […]
….I would greatly appreciate it. 😀
Ha.
If I communicate with anyone more before my craziness has subsided, it shall be using a telegraph and morse code. Much harder to act like a complete dumbass/asshole/moron/idiot or whatever else I may act like whilst insane that way.
I mean, unless someone wants to throw a brick at my head, in which case, sweet.
I think I am indeed going insane. In a heartbeat I’ll be gone from being numb to aching for a blade in my hand. I cut but I don’t understand why – I don’t feel anything. 50 times last night and I don’t feel anything. I was going to make myself homeless, but even any benefits I could’ve gained from that would’ve gone out of the window now. There’s nothing I can do to make my life worth living. So I’ll just sit here until I go completely insane or I slit my wrists, either way, it isn’t going to end well.
Due to the […]
I woke up very anxious and stressed this morning. It’s midnight here now. And I’m thinking of suicide again. And murder. My parents’ arguing woke me up. It always bothers me when they fight. Why? Because I have a crazy mother. Yes, crazy. Clinically diagnosed with bipolar disorder or manic-depressive illness. I have seen her at a low level to the highest peak of her craziness. And when she gets nuts, really nuts, I shake like hell. I hate how much I am unable to control it. I always tell myself to toughen up but my body and mind defies me. I put […]
I’ve put off writing this, because I don’t know what this is. I don’t know what I need to say.. I know that I have many thoughts that aren’t coming out right in my head and I can’t share them outloud because they only nod their heads in response. I knew a guy who committed suicide. I think about him everyday. Wonder if he knew me too. I cry when I think about people growing old. About my family members growing old while I’m away and then when I snap back to reality in 10years… they’ll be dead or no longer who I grew up […]
At may this year had a boyfriend ( I am a 19 year old bisexual female) who was pro poly-amory, before I knew it I was having a party on MDMA kissing 2 friends of my boyfriend and the girl of one of those friends. I started a sexual relationship with the 2 friends and the girl ( I had my boyfriend as well) which was pretty awesome. Sometimes one on one, sometimes threesomes… foursomes… fivesomes… After four weeks he broke up with me because I was too clingy. My subconscious tells me he just thought I was too fat, ugly and stupid, but he […]
You want to die
before knowing the deepness of cry
you want to die
before diving inside the colossal lie
you want to die
before speaking personally with Satan?
you want to die
before drinking wine til decay
or doing sex til bye
you want to die
before cracking some noses
of the people that laugh of you
you want to die
before knowing the deepness of the dark arts?
before summoning spirits and devils?
before doing some craziness that prove the holiness
of your body?
Jesus is just another ************!
But in the dark arts I have found deep truths.
That the reality does not exists.
And that if life is a illusion, the illusion that life is a illusion is another illusion.
Who am I kidding?? I’ll never be OK
I am the Slave of Depression. This must be the main thing that made me this way
Anyway I’ve  always had a dose of craziness in me…Why can’t I be happy?Everyone around me knows  how sad and unhappy I am but they don’t give a damn.They even make things worse
I need a miracle! I don’t wanna be like this anymore Â
I’m screwed up and I’m broken and I don’t know how or why I came to be like this. Nothing horrible has ever happened to me and from the outside, I have a perfect life.
But somehow, I am not normal. I am steadily going completely insane and nobody has noticed, because I keep it from them. I hide my craziness because I shouldn’t have it. I don’t deserve it.
It doesn’t make logical sense for me to feel this way, but still I know that I’m screwed up. Completely and utterly fucked up and insane.
I’m too many contradictions. I don’t make sense. I can’t even explain […]
Things were starting to look up, but it’s all coming crashing down. I was getting stronger, not having the violent and/or scary thoughts anymore, my grades were getting better, and I was just starting to go back to my old self. Today I realized that I’m apparently not ok. A girl working in my group on a project we presented today shoved my copy in my face snobbily sarcastically thanking me for my help. I tried to help write it in class, but she took it home and never contacted the rest of us like she was supposed to, so she ended up doing it […]
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