I miss being a little kid the world was so pretty and I loved life. Now things are not what I expected to be like. I often wonder if I could of fixed it. My life just shattered. My counselor thinks my depression is caused by my past. Maybe it was I’m not sure but I just I want to feel good again not feel so disconnected all the time. I have really bad social anxiety I have no friends I’m alone. I think I like being alone I pushed all of  them away. Yet sometimes I wish I had someone who just understand me. I am […]
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Crazy People
Why is it that children are not educated on mental illness? As a 4th grader I remember promising myself I would never do drugs. It was nailed into our head that we would be pressured into things like drugs, alcohol, and sex. We were taught we were at risk of giving into peer pressure, we were always taught to say no, but why weren’t we also taught that the chances of having a mental illness is extremely high before we even get out of high school? Why didn’t someone explain that when everything seems so out of control, it’s not okay to starve, it’s not […]
since 3rd grade i’ve struggled with trichotillomania. for those who do not know, trichotillomania, often linked to anxiety disorders, is a hair pulling disorder. many people think it is just a habit -like my mother- but it is not. my father believes this issue of mine can be fixed by using punishment, he’s fed this idea to my mum and she’s tried it. of course it didn’t work. my doctor suggested prozac -my mums against any anti depressants- i want it so badly. i want it so that i can have my hair grow back nice and thick, i want it because a side effect […]
Fooling everyone, telling them she’s having fun.
I really need one of those rooms they put the crazy people in when theyre not allowed to hurt themself. With those cushions on the wall.
I need to stop banging my head to the wall.
I wsh I knew how to act like a normal person.
Maybe I shouldnt wait till D-day. What is stopping me now? Nothing. No one. Â I have no reason to not do it today. I have no reason to never do it. I have no reason to stay.
I wish I had a reason.
Stop bullying. Stop posting shit like I love everyone else except you. It hurts.
The trigger – my long-term partner ending things. Not a unique trigger and millions go through this each year. So I’m told, so I tell myself. They can get through it, why can’t I? Slowly but perceptibly I feel myself going down and further down. My thoughts are racing, are dead, I have no idea what I’m doing. I can’t eat and can sleep only with sleeping pills. I begin cutting myself and have NO IDEA where that came from. Cuts all over my arms, then my legs. Sleeves cover it all. Random thoughts of suicide pop into my mind until one day at work […]
I’ve always wanted to die, ever since I was a child, I have no idea why. When I was a child and I believed in god, I prayed not to wake up the next day. And yet, I had a normal childhood. It seems that I have a tendency towards depression. Well, the years have passed and I imagined killing myself in so many ways that I can’t even remember them all. Now I’m all alone but I’m fine with loneliness, in fact, I think I want to be alone. I’m sick and tired of this crazy world and all the people, I want a […]