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Curiosity

How do you know when it’s time??

by Blue Butterfly
written by Blue Butterfly

Hi there, i’m not going to bore you with my life story, i’ll be here all day! But just in a nutshell, I’ve suffered from severe depression, anxiety and Borderline personality disorder for over 10 years. I’ve tried absolutely everything to try get better, including ECT.  Anyway, I’ve been thinking about suicide for at least the last 2 years and I’ve attempted several times with no luck (obviously!). I really cannot stand living anymore and the pain is unbearable!

Just out of curiosity, how do you know when enough is enough? I see some of you have set a deadline (scuse the pun) for your suicide. How […]

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Lost.

by keptquietlockedinside
written by keptquietlockedinside

I was scared .. I am scared. Everyone needs saving, even I do. I need it but I don’t want it. I don’t want the cliched lecture that things will get better or the sympathetic conversation that reveals your place in our relationship that you’re there for me.  I don’t want empty words to stall my decisions or help me to even consider changing my mind. I think about it all the time. I have set myself to learn to be content with death. I think of where my soul might go .. drifting through the darkness and blackness of empty space that seems to […]

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LOVE

by AscahIsBroken
written by AscahIsBroken

Sugar on your tongue
Inhale
Water licks my blood
Dead pale
Rain fills up my lungs
It’s hail
It’s a hand she held to my chest
Lips to my neck
I didn’t understand
Poison on her breath
Sleeping in her bed
Blood on the sheets
A memory that brings back memories

Red
Sink back, sink stained
Red

Fear
Black out, panic
Fear

Breathe
Drowning, in blood
Breathe

I yearned for his heat
Warm skin
Lust from curiosity
To sin
Exposed to release
Longing
It’s a lack of guidance
A cowards ignorance
No answers given when the questions aren’t asked
I wasn’t okay but no one cared about my pain

Blue

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my suicide story

by happyguy
written by happyguy

Hello and I am here to share my suicide story! Thinking about suicide is a big part of my life and it is hard that I am not allowed to talk about it. I am a man and I am turning 30 next month.

I remember I was first thinking about suicide when I was 9. I was not thinking about it as something I would like to do. I was just thinking about it with curiosity.

By the time I was 15 I was feeling suicidal. I remember I was living in a suicidal fantasy most of the time. I couldn’t stop imagining horrible ways that […]

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I am tired

by bbbaron
written by bbbaron

I had a long day. It wasn’t horrible, just more of the same… waking up feeling horrible (a little extra bad today), dreading going to work… having to face negativity,  making mistakes, and feelings of  incompetence.  Biting my tongue. Trying to find a balance between politeness, diplomacy, and getting my needs met.

I was very late, under prepared, stressed, and embarrassed. No one else seemed to care too much… aside from the usual curiosity and confusion over my poor attitude. I hate looking inept but I am. I am sick, tired, fighting with my head every day… I am so tired. Went to class after work. I couldn’t focus. […]

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New day

by Tormenting Dreams
written by Tormenting Dreams

okay to answer some questions, i got ride of my old posts because they just didnt seem like me, anymore.

so now im going to post stuff on here that interests me and peaks curiosity. participate if you want. and since not many ppl veiw my posts i guess i wont get to much flack over it. okay..

ShatteredGlass

 

 

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Fuck. My. (So-Called). Life.

by cocoblair
written by cocoblair

Everyone’s annoying and out to get you. Your friends are disrespectful and unappreciative little cunts who don’t give a shit about what you’re going trough (the only reason they ask ,,what’s wrong” is purely curiosity) and the people around you stopped appreciating you a long time ago. 

You’re an ugly little ***** who no guy will ever date, fuck or marry.

You’re not doing well in school or work ergo you deserve to die because you’re a useless member of this society. 

By wanting to kill yourself, talking about depression and anxiety, having anger fits and complaining makes you either boring or a scary individual that nobody wants […]

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Suicidal Note

by SanityMe
written by SanityMe

I hate people, I have never stop hating them. Seriously, they make everything looks ugly, my life, my dreams and even myself. I sometimes wonder when I’m going to explode, either way, it’s gonna be awful.

 

They say you can’t choose your family, and that’s sad. I found out later that you can’t choose your friends, too. I always stick with the  wrong people and that’s proof  how much I’m lucky.

 

Death itself is not a choice, I have never felt that I’m ready to die. I still have this urge and curiosity for living. Maybe I need to be more sane so I can see […]

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Battling

by Vivaldi
written by Vivaldi

I will not kill myself. I can’t, I just have too much potential. However, I just have this urge to do it anyways. Half of the time, I want to live just to learn about the universe and the wonders of science. Yes, that is right. I only live in the name of science and the curiosity spectrum of my mind. But then half of the time, I tell myself that there is no incentive of living. Let me lay this down for you: I have amnesia (or maybe even Alzheimer at a relatively early age). My mind […]

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So sad the route my life has taken!

by Woody K.
written by Woody K.

The other day, I think this woman I used to know blocked me from calling her (not sure) and all I tried to do was get ahold of her, but she didn’t answer the phone or return the few messages that I left.

It all started when I told ehr I thought she’d be cute wearing diapers similar to Pampers (please don’t judge me) and it’s only gone down hill since. She got mad t me and accused me of making her look bad, and even beinga sexual deviant. I wihs I could set things right with her, but it may be too late for that.

At […]

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Never Good Enough

by Ren, The Riddle Queen
written by Ren, The Riddle Queen

Rachel Ferguson- Never Good Enough

The story of me. I wrote this after my first hospital visit, it was going to be my suicide note but a close friend of mine found me before I died. He has an uncanny ability to call me whenever I’m seriously debating suicide even though he’s moved all the way across the world from me.

 

Born to the urban monster,

Raised to be mindless,

Her curiosity brought pain,

Tears of blood shed in silence.

 

Ostracized by her peers,

In the shadows she played.

Her “friends” cruel like the rest,

As she was bullied there came no aid.

 

Fragile, she often wept,

They laughed and pointed.

Ridiculed and mocked into […]

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Life as a bore?

by kassi1406
written by kassi1406

I love the life I have lived. But the life I’ve been living lately has gotten so boring that I see no point in life. I have no determination for absolutely ANYTHING. I don’t want to work, I dread going to school, my friends and family bore me and I pretty much find sleep as the most exciting thing. I’m not here to say I have screwed up parents or that I’m ugly. Honestly, I have a great family and I think I’m very beautiful. I’m here in curiosity. I want to know if anyone wants to end their life just…. Because? I think what […]

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Barely Holding On

by Another Number
written by Another Number

I don’t understand how all these little things can hold me back. Make me feel afraid. Too afraid to actually go through anything, and I all can manage is to hurt myself.

She’s one of the reasons why I’m holding on. She makes me feel so happy when I’m with her, and whenever I talk to her, I just end up smiling. I forget the rest of the world and I just want to be with her, always talking, somehow always communicating. Cause she’s one of my lifelines making me stay here.

The endless possibilities. The curiosity of what life will be like if I stick through […]

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Depression

by Wolfenstein666
written by Wolfenstein666

I have had severe depression for way to long. I used to be so happy and creative and wished I could live forever a long time ago I cant even imagine wanting to live forever now. I have lost all interest in everything in life, peoples advice is usually “Do what you enjoy doing” The problem is I have no hobbies,interests, and cant think of even one thing I enjoy doing. I feel so burned out like nothing is ever new and even if I have never done somthing it feels like Ive done it 10,000 times before. I have never had a girlfriend and […]

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Just a question?

by effortlessfrustration
written by effortlessfrustration

Just from being on this website it’s apparent to me that there are so many people who feel hopeless and lost, ranging in age, different genders, coming from numerous countries, different religions ect…

I’m just curious, not about everyones story as to why they want to die or give up on life, but i want to know what emotion is the most common trigger for people.

Meaning, what emotion can’t you handle? or don’t want to handle? Fear,anger,embarrassment,jealousy,sadness…ect?

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Daily I Think About Suicide

by DepressedWithLife
written by DepressedWithLife

Daily I think about suicide, but I don’t act on it. It’s just that, combined with school, discovering my sexuality, my appearance and family problems, I don’t know what else to do. Every time I think about this, I think I’m being irrational, but I still can’t help the urge to do it. One thing that really led me to this was discovering I was sexually attracted to girls. Being a girl myself, I find this very hard to understand, due to the fact that I’ve had crushes on guys in the past.

When I think back on it now, sometimes I wonder whether this was […]

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Just wondering…..

by nikster
written by nikster

I’m catching the bus before the new year, but I’ve been keeping up with the posts and wondering. Many mention finding hobbies to stay busy. What’s the point of being alive if you’re just existing? Chasing down hobbies to keep your mind off of offing yourself doesn’t seem like a very fulfilling life. So out of curiosity…what’s the point?

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How It All Began

by CJ
written by CJ

My thoughts of suicide started when I was 13 years old.

 I made a friend through a connection with another friend, and she was awesome (at first). I found out a month into our friendship that she did drugs. I encouraged her to stop, but since she was 5 years older than me she was too self- absorbed to listen. So, one night she slept over my house, and curiosity got the best of me, and I tried the drugs. It was… wonderful, to say the least. So more ‘sleepovers’ were planned afterwards. If I can recall correctly, it was about the third time she slept […]

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