Tag:

Current State

Losing the flow

by Shigari 7/21/2013

written by Shigari

Why?

Why can’t I face my problems?

Why must I always hide?

Why must I always lose trac of my effort? dammit why?

No matter what it is, no matter what I do, no matter what I was thinking barely seconds before, why must I always deviate from what I’m doing???

Whether studies, sports or whatever the hell I actually do nowadays, I just don’t seem to care, I just let myself surf the flow of the waves of thought instead of maintaining my course.

And, when I realise it, its always too late, relationships always destroyed, failing grades, competitions lost.

Every-fucking-one of my teachers or guardians or bosses are angry at […]

7/21/2013 3 comments

Soon over

by Everlasting 5/20/2012

written by Everlasting

I thoughtI was strong enough, I thought I would find purpose, but all I find is a crushing pain.

I am alone, I have nothing in my life that brings joy, only pain. I know now that I have just 1 week left here. I cannot carry on like this, I am stuck and I have to make a decision. I need to move on and I need to do it soon. I will spend 1 more week at work, let people see me in my current state (I have lost over 88 pounds/40 kilos) in the last year and I am skeletal to say the […]

5/20/2012 8 comments

I just don’t know anymore…

by ParadiseFears- 5/20/2012

written by ParadiseFears-

For the past 2 years, I’m 14 by the way, I’ve been dealing with depression. Major depression. I remember even when I was 12, when everything started- there would be voices in my head that called me so many things that it would be impossible to get them out. Even with counseling, no matter what I poured out it was never enough. There was this big empty gap in my soul and every second, every minute, and every hour of my life it would just keep getting bigger. Last year, I found myself completely gone. I went hysteric and I tried to commit suicide. The […]

5/20/2012 3 comments

Note

by kcmm 3/10/2012

written by kcmm

Note

Tonight, I am going to end my life. What follows is the only memorandum I will leave in my absence. Forgive me for the lengthiness of this â€˜noteâ€™, but just in case there are those who are left confused or puzzled by the decision have I have taken, this writing should clarify the choice I have made.

For the best part of 20 years I have been physically and mentally abused by my family, namely my mother and sister. For the past two or so years, I have been living alone (but not independently), and for the past year I have been, health-wise, in a state […]

3/10/2012 9 comments

End-game

by Embers 2/28/2012

written by Embers

To be a candle, with a wick almost burned down, the wax melted so far down there is no relighting it- that’s how I see every person’s existence- as a candle with varying amounts of “wax” left, keeping them burning. Elton John was brilliant for using this when Diana perished, what seems like eons ago.

I am not being dramatic when I say I want to die.Â I want to end my life. I’ve lived for nearly 3 decades now, each decade worse than the last. My first decade and most of my second had me tied into an impoverished family whose only abundance in life […]

2/28/2012 4 comments

My Life is Hell

by hani3 2/28/2011

written by hani3

I just want to die can someone please tell me how to… I don’t know how I’m going to wake up tomorrow and face the thousands of people at my university in my current state of deep sadness. I have no future and no reason to live how do I end it once and for all. I know this is an answer everyone on here is searching but what reasonable painless ways are their.

Please respond quickly I have no hope left at all.

2/28/2011 35 comments

This is why, though they’ll never know

by Just a stupid kid 5/19/2010

written by Just a stupid kid

My past doesn’t really matter now, although the wounds still run deep in the hearts of my family and friends. I’m ashamed to say that I made those cuts and sores within them everytime I tried to hurt myself. This could be interpreted as me being self-centered which is not my intention, I just realise how much my actions effect other people around me and I’ll take responsibility for that.

I haven’t been a member of this website for very long, but I’m choosing to write now, because my one pressing reason to kill myself is something that I can’t bear to talk about with anyone. […]

5/19/2010 6 comments

if we had never met

by sion 5/30/2009

written by sion

right now i’m seventeen, theres been so many changes and events in my life leading to my current state tht i doubt i’ll write all of them here, or remember them all, still, there are some main reasons i have never been able to overcome.

i remember when i was about seven years old and i met this girl who was also seven, she was beautiful even then, i loved herÂ from the moment i saw her, as stupid as that might sound considering i was just a seven yearold, still she lived very far away, so i wouldnt usually get to see her, and still i […]

5/30/2009 0 comment