Tag:
Cuz
poison in my mouth
Tastes like tar and notebook paper and Prozac and mint gum and sweat and blood and tears
I don’t know who to trust no surprise
(Everyone feels so far away from me)
Heavy thoughts sift through dust and the lies
(Trying not to break but I’m so tired of this deceit)
(Every time I try to make myself get back up on my feet)
(All I ever think about is this)
(All the tiring time between)
(And how trying to put my trust in you just takes so much out of me)
[Chorus]
Take everything from the inside and throw it all away
Cuz I swear for the last time I won’t trust myself with you
Tension is building inside steadily
(Everyone feels so […]
Well.How do I start?… Ummm . okay here it goes.Its been almost 4 months that he is gone.I loved him so much and so did he. Yes, my GUY. He died b’cuz of some heart problem. 🙁 . Im 14 years old and life seems like its going to get over.We were in a relationship for 4 years on the whole. He is everything for me.But now I miss him. And I feel like dying . It hurts to know that he is no more, i wanna go away with him.And before he died we fought the other day. He asked me whether I could […]
Can’t take it!! I feel like a constant failure all the time, everybody tells me that I’m great, that I’m awesome, brilliant, smart… My family loves me, my brother cares more about me that I do, my friends always bring me back up, but I just had lost it…
I suffer from anxiety and depression, I went to therapy when I used to cry every single time at any hour the second I got up my bed, it helped a little, but to be honest I never told her my truth feelings, then things at home got bad, my thoughts about family went from ‘amazing’ […]
I have a stepsister who goes through all the shit I do and shes my only family I have left. Shes 17 and just found out that she wont be able to leave home cuz of legal troubles my stepdads fault but I walked into our bedroom and found her sobbing on her bed. Her wrists were cut so deep it was scary you could see the bone only a little bit but still the cuts went the whole way up her arm. I ran out of the room to get a towel and gauze I was gone for like 5 minutes and when I […]
Just recently I’ve had these thoughts I’ve felt so empty insistent no one can help me is what I feel I have been through hell and back In my life when I was little I was abused in more ways than one by my biological father and then ever since I’ve gotten older I’ve been made fun of for everything about me I just recently found out my papa has lung cancer and every one in my family hates the one I truly love I am always being bitched at for.things I shouldn’t get yelled at for I take care of a kid that’s not […]
Last night I went to a folk-punk show and the last person I made friends with (mentioned in the earlier post I made… not someone who will ever speak to me again. He was nice to me and I was a pretty shitty friend cuz my personality got all fucked up for two years) was there, along with two of his friends. I felt really really shitty and guilty
This is my first post. I’m  a 31 yo female, a cutter, overweight and ugly….I deal with the pain every day. My dad is getting on in years and he has been forgetting a lot lately, which makes me even more sad becuz I know that he has real reasons to be depressed and want to die, but he doesn’t. But maybe it’s cuz he forgot he wanted to. My pain is mostly from love.
In 2011 I met someone I fell in love with, hard, and I know he didn’t feel the same way. How could he, I’m me! But over all this time […]
I am tired of studying, I’m tired of working, paying my bills, doing the dishes, crossing the street. I am tired of my morning coffee. I am tired of making small talk while watching your fake face smiling at me. I’m tired of all the mundane little inconveniences of being alive… I am tired of doing the laundry, reading books, brushing my hair, I am tired of caring, smiling, pretending and all the other symptoms of life…. my ears are going deaf listing to your lies and my lies, my eyes are going blind from you betrayals and my betrayals. Stop,,, I want it all […]
I really dont wanna wake up tomorrow i just wanna fade away and no one would notice it no one at all  cuz im just the fat ugly girl in the corner that no one likes i dont wanna wake up
well as start i never thought that what happened to me exceed others pain,always seemed to me meanless and i always say,for God sake why i’m depressed
my depression came from my past,cuz when i was a child i always been sexually abused by my uncles,i felt dirty and sick,i always tried to tell it to my family but they never cared(until now i’am still being abused)and like this i started to have feeling for girls because everytime a guy touch me i feel disgusted and sick but with girls it was the apposit of it,well i won’t say that i’ am lesbian it was just […]
“Son come over here
Daddy’s here you hear?”
“Daddy dont come near”
“Son there’s nothin to fear”
“Daddy, just not in my rear”
“Please son, don’t be queer
Imma let your mother steer
If it’s okay with you dear,
Imma crush this boy with the sheer
Fucking size of my spear”
Now it’s all crystal clear
So they locked him away
Ain’t seen him to this day
They ask but I refuse to say
A goddamn word to that fucking gay
There’s no fucking way
That even for a moment I’d stay
Anywhere near him, okay!?
He deserves to rot in the penitentiary
For the next half […]
I’ve always gone back, to the place where I once sat and cried. I can remember the pain, watching all the little kids play and me just sitting there and wanting one to come over and ask if I would like to play with them. I remember when I sat on the swing and watch the girls play jump-rope and the boys played one their game-boys. I remember being alone. It hurt everyday, and everyday even more rage would full me up inside because I wouldn’t eat anything. I remember hating myself and wishing I could start over or die. It didn’t help that […]
im ready to. but I CANT. idk i must be this fucking stupid, i cant even kill myself, i fail..ive failed 15 times! though bout 11 were lousy attempts only to feel some pain in the end. im done, life is not fair. well damn that is right. school starts tuesday…im ok with that..i want my phone though…i either get it next week or in november for my birthday…(so my sister says) i partially believe her cuz dad said i get it back..i need my phone to fix my relationship…damn that sounds pathetic. ugh i feel ignored…alone. but im not. i have an amazing bf […]
why why why why why why why WHY FUCKING WHY!? are you so mean. i asked u for my mascara back..so u chuck out your door and it hits me right in the eye. it hurt seriously like fuck. u look at me and say “aww is poor baby ganna cry? what a loser” then u grab a belt and beat me with it. “hahahaha now u can cry over that” which i was. “yay yay! your in pain. this is my favorite day ever!” my mom: yeah she’s just watching all this and laughing. oh oh oh..and u pushed me into the wall and […]
no, cuz u arent thinking, iv given hints that your the one who hurt me along with my ex oh god my ex has done more damage than u but u still hurt me only cuz i thought we were friends we understood each other u say “dont leave me here” ” i wont leave so easily” “im always here” was all of that a lie cuz now i hardly here from you i remember talking hours and hours til one of us fell asleep into the cruel nights. its like i lost a great amazing friend. where did u go?
cuz my parents almost break down into tears when they see a report bout deaths on the news and cause i can keep my sanity and calmness aparently im not empathetic and im heartless and uncaring. are my parents right? its stupid i do care im just not going to mourn about it. im so sick of my parents saying im a careless heartless unempathetic person.
people as in my parents. fuck all they say is for me to shut up and im pathetic and uncaring. PLEASE MOM AND DAD GET A FUCK’N REALITY CHECK! i do care bout others, why dont they see that. cuz i dont cry when i hear bout death? sure i feel bad but death to me isnt sad, doesnt make me uncaring. i wish my parents can see the good in me i may not be amazing but at least i have something to offer to the world, my parents(mainly my mom) has put me on talking restriction for being to annoying im not allowed […]
I started cutting in 5th grade. I always thought of trying to commet suicide but I was always to scared to try because i thought how will my parents feel ? When i got in the 6th grade things got worse I moved to a new town and my parents got divored and I didnt know anyone in this town, but i knew one person and they knew me to but not in a good way. It all started on facebook I met him and he looked cute but I never met him in person so I thought I would lie to my friends and […]
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