September 10, 2013
As this may be the last year of my life, I am posting this confession, if you will, to explain why I might commit suicide sometime between June-November of 2014. It’s way out there in mid to late 2014 and not now because I’m giving myself a last chance to succeed. I’m old now, I’ve had 3 health crises in the last 3 years, and my finances, while sufficient for the next 2 years, are not enough to carry me through a long retirement. At this point, given my health, depressed mental condition, and the odds of achieving a major financial reversal […]
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Daily Basis
I don’t know what to do. I’m writing this and it’s all so sketchy. There are days I’m not paranoid and then there are days where I question if I should trust the world and my loved ones. I’m just a fucked up statement of life. I hate life and everything it consists of. I don’t wanna see the sun shining and the clouds passing by. I don’t wanna see the grass and the food we eat that in the majority is micro-processed. I feel so burdened with my thoughts, for they consume me entirely. I am not me anymore, I am a […]
My name shall remain anonymous. I’ll go by KLM, just to make things easier for everyone who decides to read this.
This is my story. It involves: depression, mood disorder, drugs, drinking, sex, suicidal ideation, suicide attempts, and lots of other mature content. I don’t want to trigger anyone, so just stating it before hand. Here goes nothin’.
I was born in Las Vegas, Nevada. Still live in the same house after being alive for these past sixteen years. A lot has happened in my life the past five years. When I was a child, I was a good kid. I got good grades, hardly ever got […]
i was watching a bunch of science videos today on youtube (theyre damn entertaining). i learned that the radius of the universe is 14 gigaparsecs wide. 1 gigaparsec is 3.3 billion light years. 1 light year is 5.88×10^12 miles. 93 billion light years across. thats a ludicrous amount of space and its all full of mostly nothing. the earth is just a small rock floating in all this nothing.
to compare; there are over 1 trillion bacteria on the skin of an average human. these bacteria are about 2×10^-6 meters long. a 6 foot human is 1.83 meters. that means that we humans are almost a […]
I will spare you my sob story. Here’s what you need to know. I am 23, married and a stay at home mom to a 4 year old little girl. I have been depressed since I was a child. I have times where I am okay but I always end up feeling depressed more often than not. I first considered suicide around 13 years old but never really had intentions or means to do so. In my family mental disorders are not considered medical and I would be told to just get over it.
Now, present day I am more depressed than ever. I think […]
I have been bullied the best part of 11 years!!! i think that bully’s are disgusting and cowardly…. I’m constantly told to kill myself as I’m not worth anything and I’ve been hit, I get abusive texts and phone calls on a daily basis……. What’s the point? I have so many scars that I will never forget any of this my scars are emotional and physical…. I quit on trying to please everyone else when I can’t be myself…….x
Abusive, emotional, roller coaster relationship ends after 4 years.
Wonder how it lasted so long? When we weren’t cussing each other out, we were great.
Reason why it ended was because I cheated. Nothing can describe how much guilt, regret, and sorrow i feel on a daily basis. (November)
Since then, I’ve been there for her in every way, I’ve showed her a complete change in every aspect of my personality.
Most people might question her still dealing with me, but its more than luck, I’ve earned it.
We’ve planned a suicide together and aimed for this year but now it seems to be put on a halt.
She’s told me she doesn’t want a relationship […]
I came here today to search some posts in hopes of obtaining an easy, painless, peaceful way to leave this life. I read many similar posts and I too can’t seem to keep my depression in check. Sadly it DOES effect every other part of your life. I manage to ruin or push away any good thing in my life. Each time I try harder to gain control of my emotions and depression it only seems to end even worse. I have lost count of the jobs I have walked away from in a huff, friends I have lost due to being overly sensitive and family […]
A couple of years ago i was classed as clinically depressed, they thought i was schizophrenic and i have been trying to end my life for about two years now, all attempts have failed for one reason or another.
In the last 12 months i have had to deal with 3 close friends and a close familiar dying, with me not being allowed to attend 2 of the funerals. All of that is on top of me not having slept a full night in over a year as I’m plagued by nightmares every single night.
After the last one i vowed to try and get […]
From a time before I could remember, I’ve been tormented. At home, my father would abuse me -not physically, but emotionally and verbally. But that hurt more than the real abuse my step-mother would give me on a near-daily basis. I was moved from the front of the front of my family’s love, to the basement of our new house, while my stepsister got a real bedroom, with a heater, with a real floor, a real bed, and a window.
Every day I woke up to objects being thrown at me because my new sister didn’t want to touch me -afraid she would catch what I […]
After over a decade of trying to slog on through this bleak existence, and being guilt-tripped continuously into persevering, I am all out of stamina for the fight anymore. Â Too many things, too many broken emotions, too many medical tags stuck onto this tortured, agony-racked being. Â I don’t even think those closest to my heart would begrudge me seeking eternal peace and relief from this cruel world, if they could understand the pain I go through on a daily basis.
I have had 3 botched overdoses with different meds, and tried hanging once but the cord stretched too much, and contemplated stepping off the roof of […]
I’ve come to the realization that living with these suicidal thoughts will probably never go away. This is my first time trying out an online community for suicide/depression or what have you because I feel I am running out of options. I feel I have no one who I can talk to in my life about these issues due to the deep shame that comes with them. Even though I feel I have a good support system, I don’t like feeling like I’m burdening those I love with all this I go through on a daily basis.
Getting to the point, I’ve realized that I am too scared to actually […]
Well I don’tknow what to say or where to start, but I guess just letting it all out is a start, so here it goes. I’m a 22 year old female and at the age of 22 I never knew I would of felt the amount of pain as I have this past few years. Past few weeks all I been thinking about is sucide, why should I go on? I can barley handle the pain because of this depression its like a disease that will never go away from the feel of it. I been thinking of different ways to do it overdosing, jumping […]
I want to die. I keep hurting people, and I try my hardest not to. I try to show everyone how much I love them and how much I care, but I suck at showing emotions.
My ex cries every time she thinks about me because I hurt her so bad. We had so many problems. I tried to be perfect. I tried to be the amazing person she deserved, but all I did was fuck up and hurt her time after time.
My ex and I don’t talk anymore, but now I have a new-ish friend, and her and I […]
Am I Insane? Waking up in the middle of the night craving just to self-harm, I could feel the need on my scarred wrist just so temped to grab my razor & press the cold metal against my skin. Deeper & deeper gliding across; red gushing out everywhere off the sides of my wrist & down my arm.  “I wanna cut, I need to cut†I could see my skin break as the tip of the knife goes down my arm with blood spilling out of my arm. Since that night I’ve been craving to cut & all I think about is suicide attempts. Maybe if I […]
…as I keep going through the time, I find myself in places I’ve never been, you know, every moment is a place where you’ve never been. But at the same time, you are always here. Always everywhere. Moving along with the Universe.
I hope the level of fear I experience on daily basis, equals the level of joy I will be able to feel someday.
Everything is always changing.
Alright. Never thought I’d post anything here, but after reading a lot of your stories, I feel like sharing mine. Please bear with me.
Where to start? I’m 27, have the best parents in the world, a great brother and a bunch of friends that I could hang out with. I graduated last June, but haven’t looked for a job, I’ve done nothing with my life really. I’ve just been depressed, scared of the outside. The thing is, I always saw it coming all along.
Basically I’m “afraid” of people and what they think of me. The fact that I studied journalism doesn’t make it any easier, […]
My parents … (if you must call them that) are absolutely the worse. They’re the reason why I will never trust anyone, they’re the reason why I think everyone is out to get me, they’re the reason why I hate myself. They act as if I don’t exist. They ignore me on a daily basis. They tell everyone that I was a mistake, that i’m their constant reminder of failure. I try to pretend that everything they say is the opposite. But it never really works out. The man I am forced to call my dad, is constantly making me regret living. He’s the reason why […]
I don’t have a tragic life story. I don’t have an awful past. If anything I’ve been spoilt and I’m lucky.
But that still doesn’t stop me from feeling so worthless, useless, pathetic. I’ve got everything I could ever want, and it’s still not enough. I still cry myself to sleep, I still self-harm on occasion. I still look in the mirror every morning and feel physically sick at what I see. I still think about how it would be to just end it all. To just leave everything behind.
For six years I was bullied, day in day out. I was called fat, ugly, pathetic, worthless, […]
I have only ever wanted one thing. It’s the only thing that I will never have.
In grade school, I was maybe seven years old, my teacher asked us to draw what we wanted to be when we grew up. I drew myself with a bunch of babies and kids running around and wrote “stay at home mom.” Now, I’d say my goals have changed considerably, I’d rather work than stay home, but I still have dreams about little green-eyed babies.
My freshman year of college I found out that I’ll never get those babies. I also found out that I will never be in love, I’ll […]
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