Hello everyone, I just wanted to thank you all for your kind words and support the last few years. I have hit a wall and I think this is it for me. The constant pain and suffering… I just can’t deal with it anymore. So tonight is the night. I have a cocktail of sorts arranged with a backup plastic bag, I know we aren’t supposed to talk about methods so I will leave it at that, I’m not sure if it will work but I am hoping it will. This site has been a source of inspiration and just a huge amount of support […]
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deal with it
I feel like I’ve posted something like this before…So sorry for a potential duplication. Or…Whatever.
Anyway! A lot of times people will do “weird” things caused by depression, or other “disorders,” that can cause oddball behavior. Half the time – ok, I don’t have actual stats, so I’m basically pulling shit out of my ass – but a lot of the time, the behavior is just dismissed as someone “looking for attention.” This NEVER MADE ANY SENSE TO ME. Even on here, so many posts are about it: I did [behavior] to express that things aren’t ok, and it was just […]
Proof that I’m the ugliest person alive comes from the other side too. I have nothing against this guy at all, so it’s not that. Another transguy I know got featured in a popular news source for being a hot transguy and he’s about as big as I am. How is it that other big people can be good looking but I’m always told how ugly I am?? What is really so wrong with me????
I can’t deal with it if I think of it any more than that. I’m sick of being the ugliest person on earth. I’ve taken .5 and .4 of my testosterone […]
Six months ago I had everything…a great paying job and a girlfriend of six years that I think adored me and I adored her. Depression then reared its head. I took absences from work to try and deal with it and then in July got fired. I haven’t been able to find a job since. This week my girlfriend and I broke up. It had been strained for a bit but kept hoping we could work through it. Now I’m about to end up on the street due to not having money. I’m still working on my plan but really liking this website. I felt […]
“You need to find a reason to stay alive”
A simple and annoying sentence that people used each time I come to them to explain about how I’m having suicidal thoughts. It’s easier said than done. While I hate it so much because they kept on replaying it like some kind of broken radio, I do realize it’s because they can’t really do anything about it. About me. I tried and be open about my situation to my most trusted friend. We argue a little about how she didn’t reach me and try to help. But in her defense, there’s nothing to help when I can’t […]
I am so fucking sick of you pathetic excuses for parents telling me that I’ll “ridiculous”, “a failure”, and pathetic every time I mess up at something, not matter how minor, no matter how many times I succeeded. I’m sick of you telling me that I’m not good enough. I’m sick of you guys using my dreams and my ambitions and threats against me, like I won’t ever get anywhere in life if I suddenly didn’t live with you anymore. Well heads up, fuckers. You cut me off when I was 14. Since then, I have made my money, paid my own tuition, bought my […]
I just want to cry. To curl up and cry until I sleep. My depression is kicking in and I don’t want to deal with it. Over the days it will get worse and my imagination will start to take over and become my reality. I don’t want to deal with this.
As the late George Carlin stated “If you want to commit suicide, I back you up!”
It’s your choice and your choice alone as well as this thing called free will!!! Good luck people
Life is not easy for a lot of us, deal with it as you see fit, a bunch of anonymous strangers are not going to help you!
I’m sorry I just can’t do this anymore. I’m done with hope. I’m done with everything. I’ve lost everything and there is nothing left for me. I don’t want to live anymore. And there is no use for me anyway. Nobody will change my mind. I’ve already chosen what to do. I can’t even cry anymore. I’m not scared to die anymore. I am 100% sure of what I should do. And nobody will ever change my mind. This life is hell. And I don’t want to deal with it anymore. I will be free and so happy. And so will everybody else.
This is not […]
Dear city of more,
It seems like it will never end. I want to be out in the streets with you, out fighting the good fight but I am debilitated by this sorrow. I am not able to do my own work. I can only read articles and weave through media to get tangled in this debate that is no debate at all. I send to you love, the little I have in my heart. I am worn but will resist in the ways I can and will be there when I can, as much as I want to just die and not have to see […]
I bought a breakfast sandwhich, when I coulda had some dank french toast. This decision keeps bothering me. I don’ t know how I’m gonna deal with it.
i’m laying in bed watching Grey’s Anatomy because I can’t with life. I can’t deal with it, i don’t want to talk to anyone. i don’t want to be anywhere.
So i have been having really deep depression latly and idk how to deal with it. I cant talk to anyone about it because i have no one. Id just like to talk to someone who understands me
Myemail is justin _ evans at aol
Oh goodness I am so tired of people telling me I have a drug problem. I do not. My Mentor told me, “If anyone takes a substance to not feel, then that’s a problem.” I’m sorry I feel so sad all the time and am worried about other things, that I take pain pills to deal with it, and I cut myself to deal with it. I don’t know what else to do when I am so down in the dumps. I don’t know what to do. If I do have a problem, so what? No one is going to ‘help’ this poor 16 year […]
I quit my job and moved across the country so that I could afford living without a job while I apply to grad programs. At the same time as studying for the GRE, I got engaged to be married. You’d think it would be a really exciting time in my life, but the same two months I was going to use for improving my GRE score ended up being dedicated to wedding planning. Wedding planning was a nightmare, I felt extremely depressed, and then I would beat myself up for feeling depressed during a time I was supposed to be happy. Oh yeah, I forgot […]
Life was always shit. I wish i just got cancer, but of course i have to slowly become a vegetable. How can even shit like neurological ilness exist, i would abort myself on the first day if i knew about it. I’m surrounded by trash that live like they can’t do anything and that’s really annoying. Retards don’t know how it feels to become dead alive. Doctors are funny as well, takes 2 simple tests to confirm the sickness and it takes a year to do anything.
I’m so tired of this bullshit, fuck your school, your work and your pathetic lives. I’m not going […]
I’m hopefully going to end it tonight. I’ve felt unhappy and alone for many years and while I’ve coped for as long as I have its gradually gotten worse and I just can’t deal with it anymore. My only regret is the pain I’ll cause my family and the few friends I have by doing this, I don’t expect them to respect my decision some of them will even think I’m selfish and a coward but if refusing to continue to live in misery to keep them happy is selfish then so be it.
Why was I the sperm that won?
Maybe if it were not me they would be happy
Maybe then, they would care
Maybe then, they would be able to love each other
Maybe them I am the reason
Maybe im the reason my mum and dad fight
I am not what everyone expect
I am not there little angel
I am a devil indisguise
I am the reason you cry
I do not like rules
I do not like structure
I like being me
However, you do not see
You love to control
You want me to do well
You do not understand I want to be me
You love to know what I do
However, If I told you wouldn’t believe
You do […]
I’ve come to accept all this. It’s going to kill me, but I’ve accepted it. It’s just always going to be a part of my life. No running from it. Can’t get rid of it. Just have to deal with it until it’s over.
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