I know compared to what some of the other stuff people have said, this might be, “lame”, but I have been at such a low point in my life lately and I need somebody’s help. I hate it at home. I hate my family. If you’re wondering why, it’s because I feel like I can’t have a normal life. I live in a strict household, I never feel love no matter how much times my parents say it to me because their words are hollow to me. Actions speak louder than words, and I have been taken granted by everyone around me. Sometimes I feel like ending it all just to teach them a lesson for the better of everybody. So basically, high school is my escape.
I haven’t really opened up to my friends about this stuff (it would just make our relationship awkward, and hanging out with them is one of the only times I feel normal) and there’s this girl I’ve been talking to for a couple of years. We’ve gotten really close, but I never asked her out. I thought I had made it clear she was MINE, but lately my best friend has been talking to her, flirting. And I feel her drifting away from me, and whenever I wanna feel happy for either of them I just feel envy. I envy him, the people around me with for the most part, normal, happy lives.
I have also been grounded for a really long time for doing some illegal stuff (I’m leaving it at that) so I can’t even hang out with my friends anymore. I’m drifting away from everyone.
I play basketball, music is also one of my only escapes, but lately the stuff that makes me happy does not outweigh the pain I feel because of the circumstances around me. I just need some help, advice that can help me feel better.