Hey guys, I guess you can say that I am new to this website, although I have read quite a few posts here. Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone would like to talk? I am feeling worthless, and nobody really cares about me. You know, I am the girl who everyone thinks is super happy and joyful. I am good at faking smiles. And I am just really sick of it, and I want to cut myself but I don’t want anyone to see how weak I am. And, well, I am just not feeling well. So, is there anyone feeling the same way who would […]
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Hello 🙂 I am going to start now…
I have attempted suicide before, but all times my plans have fallen through. I have tried suffocation through bag twice, tried hanging myself once, tried swallowing a ton of pills once, and that’s it. I cut. I despise blood and looking at other peoples injuries makes me want to faint, but for some reason it’s different with my blood. I laugh when I cut and I shake so much. It calms me, makes me happy for a short while. I wish I could be left alone though, my parents are the kind of parents who despise any problems […]
hello, i don’t want any suggestions or counselling. I’m really strong for not needing such advisory services.
OK, so let me start…
I have this best friend, whom I fell in love with, after 4 years of being best-friends with her. We used to share everything amongst us. Falling for her was never intentional. In the later stages of 4th year, her behaviour towards me changed a lot, i don’t know what happened. I never realised that I fell in love with her. She knew this very well. After some months, she told me to focus on studies, and not get into it.
Since then, I can’t get […]
Tonight, I am planning to kill myself. I have planned many times to but I have held back because of what seemed like people who cared or the sacredness of what people would think if I failed. Tonight, however, ends all of this. To if you were my friend or you call yourself a friend of mine, I am sorry, but you should have known this was coming. To my family aside from my adoptive mom, I am sorry. To my teachers and other adults, why could not have done something. I know you guys have seen my cuts and scars. Some of you have […]
I really have no reason to complain. I’ve done pretty well for myself. I got my degree, got a good job, etc. my students loaned will be paid off by early next year.
But in the pursuit of all this I lost one thing that has haunted me for years now. Love.
I was engaged to be married may 2013 to my college sweetheart. We’d been together through a lot of things, but there were some things I should have noticed were not right. She never really loved me. I denied it at first, but that’s the only conclusion. We got together in college because neither one […]
It seems like forever since I’ve been on this website, and I pity myself for needing to come back, for needing to vent about something that never leaves, the follows me as close as my own shadow.
This feeling, this dreaded feeling is back, and as I try, day by day, to push it to the back of my mind, all it does is grow, feeding off my happiness.
I’m upset, so upset that it seems that all is going well, yet this feeling won’t allow me to feel joy, to feel anything besides remorse. I want to be the one who is always smiling, […]
Today I went to my same old school followed the same routine with the same people who wouldn’t care if I never showed up again. I listen and talked while I was ignored again and no one even noticed when i didn’t show up to lunch. I don’t belong where I am and I feel so alone. Nothing matters to me anymore, not sports, not running, not being social, I used to love to go out but now i just want to stay in bed all day and shut my brain off. The only reason Im still fighting is for my little sister […]
I’m done. I’m not going to kill myself tonight, maybe not even tomorrow. After Friday at the earliest when I get paid. So I can at least have a last meal. Even depraved psychos get a last meal right? So I don’t know when I’m going to do it. But as it seems I might not have a place to live after December or January.
I always wanted to write a novel, or some short stories at the very least. I never had any sort of delusion that they would get published or anything. But posting it online, maybe even have a half dozen of people […]
People say only cowards kill themselves…they need a way out so they take their own lives. That’s not true people have so many problems when they hit bottom you would think the only way to go from there is up. Some people like myself mentally and physically can’t we don’t see no were to go…we once had a thing that pushed us to live, but that thing is no longer there. I’m going to be honest I think about killing myself at least once a day. To be honest again if I knew how many pills to take then I would be already gone…I don’t […]
Need more friends with wings.
All the angels I know
put concrete in my veins.
I’d always walk home alone.
So I became lifeless
just like my telephone.
There’s nothing to lose.
When no one knows your name.
There’s nothing to gain.
But the days don’t seem to change.
ever played truth or dare
I’d have to check my mirror
To see if I’m still here
My parents had no clue
That I ate all my lunches
Alone in the bathroom
There’s nothing to lose
When no one knows your name
There’s nothing to gain
But the days don’t seem to change
There’s nothing to lose
My notebook will […]
So this is my first post to this site…
but i have found for a while now that the only sanctuary I have in my life is those few blessed hours of the day where  your mind slips away into sleep. It’s a time of shear bliss where all your worries fade. when I am awake I never just “be” like it seems so many others have no problem with. My mind is constantly running from one anxious thought to another..I have found it to be physically draining. I wish I had an off switch on my mind. So everyday I seem to find myself counting […]