Today I was on the verge of suicide. Today I saw a bird that was on the fence surrounding my home and I saw the very same tree that has been in front of my house for years in a different light while going through this crisis today. These things might sound very much trivial and insignificant but I mention these things because when one (anyone) was or is about to kill themselves or is near to death, life little things becomes much more vivid. The sky and even the air might feel different.
Why is there this prevailing norm that the act of suicide […]
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Different Light
I’ve been a kind of a fixture on SP for several months – some know me – others have never seen me. Some like me, some respect me, others hate me and think I’m full of crap and retarded.
I care about everyone – and I try to be positive and upbeat – strong for those who don’t feel they can take another step. I don’t “want” any of us to be here but that just isn’t realistic. and for many of us, ‘here” is a small piece of flotsam in and angry sea that will eventually but surely take us all … preferably when we’re old and grey … […]
When i first decided to stop drinking and eating entirely I made the decision to die, at the time that I began my painful journey I had already felt no need to eat anything at all, the thought of a big juicy hamburger nauseated me. With many of those seeking a chance to escape, I plea with you to decide between Irrational Suicide and Compassionate death, I know that it may sound ridiculous to for whatever reason to willingly kill yourself, period. Many people who take this path are those who are already dying and have wanted to shorten their suffering, this is the difference […]
I haven’t eaten in 3 days now, the unbearable want to eat or drink has passed and I no longer feel hungry or thirsty. The lack of food and water has made my mouth extremely dry, I’ve been swishing water in my mouth and spitting it back out to keep from having my lips crack in a painful manner. I feel weak, every movement is slowly becoming a battle and I can feel every breath becoming more difficult. I feel peaceful though, strangely enough, I’ve come to peace with myself and I’m no longer afraid to pass. The most difficult part about waiting to pass […]