but soon. i’m ~30. this is a long time coming. it’s been in the back of my thoughts as long as anything else at this point. i guess it just got to be where i was impossibly tired of failing at getting better, not hurting people by being unstable, etc. i always felt too much of an obligation to my family/friends/significant others, or just got scared. the utter frustration of repeated failure eventually ground that fear down. it’s a relief! it’s the first thing that’s made sense in a long time. the only odd thing about it is the surreality of getting one’s affairs in […]
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Different Story
Hi, I suffer from Manic Depression . Not many in my school know that. They think i’m happy, maybe even normal teenage girl. I’m 14. But this is were it all started.
When I was little, I was always the “troubled” child. My parents would curse at me , call me a “retard” , “slut” “whore” all different types of names when I just was two years of age. It wasn’t only the names… my mom was a drunk and my dad wasn’t so much of a help either, she would hit me, with all sorts of things, whatever she could get her hands on. […]
My parents … (if you must call them that) are absolutely the worse. They’re the reason why I will never trust anyone, they’re the reason why I think everyone is out to get me, they’re the reason why I hate myself. They act as if I don’t exist. They ignore me on a daily basis. They tell everyone that I was a mistake, that i’m their constant reminder of failure. I try to pretend that everything they say is the opposite. But it never really works out. The man I am forced to call my dad, is constantly making me regret living. He’s the reason why […]
I suppose I am doing this correctly.. I am new here after all.
My story?
It’s a little bit too long for a post that I have the patience to make right now, so let me just sum it up so you all can get a general idea of where I am coming from.
My family: I have a mom, who can be psychotic at times but a lot of moms are. I look at her more as a person rather than my mom. Sure, she might get involved in my life attempting to be my parent but for the most part she is just […]
Reading through the posts, its amazing how different all our stories are.
We have somethings in common – that feeling of not being able to carry on, hating our lives, hating our past, not feeling like we have a future.
How many of you have read anothers story and thought either:
Thats far worse than my life,
or
thats not so bad?
It something to think about – if we put ourselves in other peoples lives how would we feel then, worse or better than we do now.
If one can get one spirits up just a little – its really important.
Having severe PTSD (post traumatic stress), having a nervous […]
I can’t actually remember how it started. I’m not sure if I can even call it depression. Most of my life I have been surrounded by control. I have been from place to place. My parents had me at 14 so things were crazy growing. I barely ever saw them. Now I live with my father because I have a mother who is going through problems I don’t like to talk about.
I let myself be controlled, and even if i want to, I cant stand up for myself. I’m 17, and in school I just some weird lesbian (I’m not lesbian but people […]
When I sit and think about my life, there is only a few good memories and few times when I can remember being genuinely happy. I feel that I am just going through repetitive motions everyday. I am taking 5 classes and working 36 hours a week. I have a good job and make good money. I am always so busy trying to keep up with school and work but I rather it be that way than to have time for my mind to travel.
From other people’s perspective, I have it all. But it is a very different story from my point of view. I honestly don’t […]