Take me from this place,
It’s not like yesterday.
It’s this gentle maze,
These corridors and caves…
Where did you go…
A timeless face in misty eyed disgrace.
Choking behind glass.
If you could turn around,
You could have it all,
But break your hands before you break your fall.
In these gentle waves there’s a feeling I’ve been saved.
But I’m drowning still.
Why did you go…
Tag:
Disgrace
I am a person in my mid 20’s, and I suck. My dad went on a twenty min. rant on how I suck this morning, I’m broke and have no future, the girl I’m obsessed with is with another dude, and most of all I’m an embarrasement freak of a person on a objective level. No one loves me or will, I don’t believe in god (for logical, not emotional reasons). Hell I’ve had a relative that laughed at me for crying because my childhood dog died. No one has ever loved me, not family, not people in a relationship with me, […]
Alright so, I may be young but I feel like I’ve gone through a lot. I feel tired of life. I’ve thought about commiting suicide so many times but I look into my future. I have a lot to go through. But anywho, the reason why I feel like this is because of my family, especially my mother. For a long time now, its turned into an everyday thing to argue. My mother makes me feel like im nothing. Wishing for me to not be her daughter, and regreting to have me. Im not good enough, I don’t do anything right. All I do is […]
stop all of the dreams,
and start all the nightmares,
Listen, to them scream.
but nothing is there,
your all I’ve got,
your my only hope.
but now even you
seem to be cutting the rope.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
it’s a fucking mess
and there’s no escape.
my wrists are red.
someone save me.
drowning in this sea,
this sea of blood.
death stole innocence,
with the bang of a gun!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
with every breath you take,
you want to stop it all.
the blade is your friend,
it helps you when you fall.
love is a joke,
your only love is rope,
it made you a […]
I got back my results today …almost cried in class because I knew they would kill me …go home my dad just keeps screaming at my ….your a fucking idiot you will never amount to anything …..your disgrace, all i say is hes right because he is .Go to school crying … so no one talks to me all day..Go home this time my moms saying i am selfish ugly ***** for causing all this trouble ….im just too exhusted with the fighting to fight back .. im just done with everything .I use to not understnd why they hted me .. but i do […]
After coming home from school, my ride dropped me off at my sisters smoothie shop. There my sister barely talked to me, and barely made any eye contact with me. I tried acting normal and trying to talk to her,but she wouldnt say anything.  I sat at one of the tables ani took out my books to do my homework. My sister said someing and i didnt hear her so i asked her to  repeat it. Then she started to say all this shit about me. She started saying things such as, youre a disgrace, im embarrassed to call you mysister, youre inresponsible,  and you […]
Once, again my life is continuing on it’s downward decent; although this time it is spiraling out of control more rapidly than it ever has before. I can’t do any of this anymore…nor do I really want to. I am tired, of living, breathing, and existing. I feel as if I do not even have a purpose anymore, but instead I am an empty shell that is carrying on the functions of the person that I used to be. No one cares about me, for awhile I thought that maybe for once in my life someone actually cared about me, but alas I was wrong. I was […]
I have been suicidal for probably the better part of 5 years and looking back at my life and where I am now I always ask myself “why didn’t I just do it then?” Nothing ever improves, I’m too much of a pathetic, fuck up to ever improve it. I realize a few people here will still say I have hope, but realistically take a look at my current life and take your mindset off of a suicide relief/help site mentality for a second. If any person in real life read what I am about to describe below they would most likely agree that there […]
That’s what I’ve learnt in life. I don’t deserve to be loved, I must be the worst person ever, thus all I deserve is pain and misery. I’m tired and today was hell, so bare with me if I don’t make much sense. Ever since I remember I’ve wanted to be loved and accepted.. and ever since i remember, I’ve been denied. My mother has always hated me. She’d never say a nice thing about me, she was convinced I’d only exist to ruin her life, cause her misery and she still accuses me of having tried to kill her when i was 5… nobody […]
Dear Whoever Is Reading This,
Hi, i’m Maya. I’m 13 years old now, & turning 14 in a couple months. I’m very short for my age (4’11), I have long black hair, I’m Japanese, I’m a dancer, & I believe that God made me beautiful. Seems great, right?
Lets start from the beginning of my life. From when i was first born to about age 8, i was the happiest kid you could ever meet. I was an angel child, too. I never cried when my family was trying to sleep, I was nice to everyone & everyone was the same toward me, teachers loved me, I […]
I was reading on here a couple of weeks ago, and I saw something that someone said and it really stuck with me. They said “I’m not a person who wants to be alive. Im just a person who’s too afraid to die.” That pretty much sums me up. I don’t get a kick out of living. I don’t go to bed at night thinking of all the wonderful things I get to do tomorrow and aren’t I just so darn lucky that I get to just be alive?! No. I go to bed hoping I won’t wake up. But I always do. I would […]
I’ve been suicidal for so many years, I’m pretty much not even hiding it, yet nobody fucking care, I can tell you that. When I first decided I wanted to end with life, I was like “ok I’m done with life, maybe I can just have fun before I do”, that resumed playing video games day and night, and staying locked up in my bedroom at least I was having fun. Only getting out at night to eat when I know my parents are asleep. This dragged on and on always like “let’s do that one more day”. I live on the day by day […]
They dont know how badly i want to die. I’m suffocating. Every day is a battle. I think about how easy it is for me to just overdose or cut to deep. dont want to feel pain anymore.I dont want to be stuck here. I can’t do this anymore. I just want someone to notive how much I’m hurting. It hurts so deeply its a struggle to breathe.i cut to take away the pain for awhile. But when it’s this bad i cant do anything. I’m a basket case. I hate it here. I just want to be free of myself. I am […]
Last night, i wanted to die so badly.
i hate myself.
ill always hate myself.
i am not good enough.
never have been never will be.
im a disgrace to my family and friends.
im just a fuck up.
they’ve all stopped trying to save me.
so i should stop to.
im damaged beyond repair.
i dont know what else to do.
i really dont.
i hate myself.
i just feel its best if i dissappear…
My Story,
All my lyfe ive been compared, contrasted, and told i never tried my best. Im a sophomore in high school and this year especially, ive been having many thought about suicide. I have strict asian parents who dont take anything but a’s. I have a lot of pressure on my shoulders and when i told my parents ive wanted to something else besides a doctor or do another major than pre-med, they would get mad or tell me im stupid. Ive wanted to chase after my dreams as a musician and an artist. My parents never accepts the idea no matter how many time […]
To A Breathless Oblivion by The Black Dahlia Murder
the chair’s been kicked a rope tied to the rafters
blue faced and broken necked I sigh
relieving my vision from the sick mocking stare
of that hated sun burning the sky
slumped like a headless scarecrow
cold and limp against the wall
blood paints a pattern of rorschach’s design
thawing the winter that burdens this heart
shit stained and shameful
an exit in disgrace
not a splash but just a ripple left
I end this life in vain
in vain
in the dead of the darkness I breach the still lake
toward the reflection of […]