I thought maybe over time I could forget about him. Just distract myself until I forgot. But it’s not even been 3 months since he left and now I’m just empty.
I feel nothing for anyone or anything. I don’t get irritated when customers complain at work . I don’t get mad over things that I’d usually be pissed off at.
I can’t even cry. I mean, I do the motions, but no tears come. I finally told my best friend this, just to let her know what was going on. Then she tells me that she had been hospitalized a year ago for trying […]
Tag:
distract
Hey everyone, sorry for the ramble –
Has anyone here overcome (at least in part) anxiety or depression through mindfulness and meditation?
I’ve tried to practice them in the past but for the past few years I’ve been in a constant state of anxiety/panic, and it’s so difficult that I’ve never really kept it up. Since I’ve had ME I’ve been more eager to try – it’s a lot harder now to distract myself from depression and anxiety. I’ve also come across some methods people have used to cure their physical symptoms using their minds, so it seems more important than ever that I gain some control […]
and yet I am, time after time, just sitting and rotting away in my dingy apartment. I read, and view all types of media and see how vast and spectacular this world is yet I am confined to a mental prison that I cannot be free of. Why was I born like this? Why do I interpret and perceive things the way I do? I’m always asking questions, to which a complete answer will never be revealed. Sometimes I feel like I’ve experienced my good and bad fair share of things, and that everything I feel from now on will just be dwindled, lesser versions […]
I am such trash. I just got out of a treatment center for the 7th time for my anorexia and you know what’s changed? Fuck nothing. In fact, I want to end my life now more than I have in then before I went. I am fine during the day because I have things to distract me but once I am alone, the creeping reality sets back in.
I am never going to get better. I took this treatment more seriously then I ever have in the past, was completely open and honest, and tried harder than ever before. But nothing has changed. I STILL want […]
We all gotta do something to raise our own confidence because the lack there of is purely our minds own doing. Some distract themselves, some eat, some play dress up and some crave attention.. well that last one is me. My confidence is in constant flux..always in tune one minute and gone the next minute. Sometimes I really give no shit that I do things purposely to gain attention. One thing my confidence never shatters is certainty in my physical appearance. I feel that I am half gone in my sanity but still a decent looking dude. So I’ve decided to sit pool side for […]
No matter how I try to ignore this feeling it keeps coming back…it feels like its a part of myself and it’s wrong for me not to feel the pain or trying to distract myself from the monster inside me…3 days ago I threw away all my razor blades thinking that if I don’t cling to the thing that makes me feel that way it will slowly fade away…I was never so wrong in my life….for 3 days I thought I was invincible then boom!! My ex whom I still love so much found someone else…she has been ignoring me for weeks..at first I thought […]
I am everything wrong; my most beautiful excuse is that I am a product of my time. I am the demon of wrath because I find a flaw in everything but have no ability to create peace of it. If I don’t stroke, I will continue to rain terror on those around me whom I try to call liars but are only honest with themselves against the entity that is me. I am not allowed to scream because only I can be screamed at. I am seeking attention and glorification because I surround myself with intriguing things that distract from my ugly side. It’s not […]
I swear that if hell exists it must be similar to the physical pain I’m feeling right now in all the right side of my face and head, combined with the psychological pain I have usually.
Good news is that I can’t have both at the same time so, for now, the psychological one is gone.
However, I could shoot myself right now to stop this horrible pain.
This is a stupid post and has nothing to do with the main topic, but it’s 2:45 in the night, I’m kind of dying and I need to distract myself some way. The pain killer pills are not […]
today was a warm and beautiful day, and i wasted all of it inside. i want to die. they say these feelings are temporary. but they don’t know my feelings… i mean, sure, it goes away for a little while, but it always comes right back. like now. been crying off and on whenever i think of certain things, and so i try to distract myself to keep from thinking too much, but there’s nothing to distract me. it’s always at the front of my mind. i can see why some people would turn to drugs… i need to feel something, anything, other than this […]
I guess this is the way I do it:
1. Push everyone away from me because I don’t deserve their love. I’m too unworthy for it.
2. Run into someplace where no one can find you and have no ways of contacting you. i.e., isolate yourself. Keep your phone somewhere and try to forget about it. Or switch it to Airplane mode. Yeah.
3. Hide. Remain in your bubble. A quiet bubble floating in the sea of noises.
So much for trying to distract yourself from the truth. So much for trying to forget and run away from it. So much for trying to create excuses.
Stop trying to […]
The holidays are coming up and I’ve never felt more alone more empty more sad. The memories hurt the most now. I have dreams about it and I wake up with this fresh pain and its torture. It was just a dream right, but it’s also my new reality. It sucks I want to cut myself just make one good slice into my skin reopen the scars to distract from these memories that keep resurfacing. I get that life is better off now than it ever was I get that I was living a painful lie. That doesn’t change that it hurts that my heart […]
Thought I’d give everyone an update on life.
Got a small band and we have played a show.
Link is here:
I’m the guitarest. Feel free to check out more videos.
I also have a new number, so if anyone here needs to talk, feel free to email and get the number.
I’m trying to keep my days busy and entertained, so I don’t enter a dark place. If I were to say that I don’t have bad days anymore, it would be a lie. They actually happen often, but I try to distract myself from them.
My email: brl.cents@gmail.com
I have to hang in there longer. I just can’t put my dog down or give her away. She deserves to get older. She is 9 and will be really old in a couple of years. Somehow I will hang in there. I don’t like buying stuff, because it just means more stuff that the Public Administrator inherits, but I bought some house plants, put them in pots, and they make me feel better. I get very depressed when a plant dies, though, and I don’t have a green thumb.
So, if you want to hang in there a little while longer, buy yourself a toy […]
I was watching a video I made when I was 12 years old. I had similar feelings to the ones I feels now; “if my friend doesn’t want to make time to come to visit me and i’m doing all the work in visiting them, they’re aren’t my friend”
It kinda shocked me because I didn’t realized how deep and how far back these feelings go. Who knew.
Anyway, I moved to a new place recently, and though it lightens the load, I still feel heavy. Hopefully the excitement of change will distract me for a good time before I spiral again.
No matter how hard I try to distract myself and think of good thoughts, the bad ones always come back and persist. It has gotten to the point where I just want to kill myself and end it all. I can’t handle anything anymore
fucking urges to self destruct and self mutilate are so strong today….I can’t give in…come on, get it together Gianna, almost 4 weeks clean, don’t ruin it now
I spoke with someone tonight about feeling suicidal. It made me feel better to know it doesn’t make me crazy. I was told to do things that distract me when I feel that way. I can see that, but again… how long do distractions last? I want the thoughts to go away. Not creep into my mind ever again. I don’t want to keep feeling this way period. Not just suicidal.
No matter what I am doing these thoughts persist. I try to distract myself. I try to think about other things. No matter who I’m with, what I’m doing, time of day… I’m tired and I feel gone. If that makes sense.
I love the way that life hands me extra frustration when I am already feeling more pain than I can withstand. There is nothing to do but distract myself, try to find pleasure in simple things and endure the experience until it finally ends.
I get so tired of looking up, of putting a happy face over my perceptions and soldiering on. But there really is nothing else to do except feel raw pain distinctly. Does that help me?
I keep having intrusive thoughts about choices that I regret having made and about how my life compares to the life that I hoped to live. […]
After my attempt a couple days ago I told my mom and she told me with tears down her eyes that it was selfish. That how can I do that to her. I have not once seen my mom who i love break down before so I sucked all my emotions in and with a straight face told her I would not try ever again. But I know its a promise I can’t keep. Distractions have been coming up I recently got into a relationship but I know I’m not ready for that I’m not stable but I just need something anything that will help […]