Tag:

Distractions

Sinking

by @suicideroom 6/25/2013

written by @suicideroom

It’s been a long time… I’m just so ready for it to just…end.

I’ve reached a new low. A low, where the first time in my life, the cutting isn’t enough. The distractions, the stories… even my art has become dull and lifeless. Leaving the house is painful. Seeing so much happiness. It hurts, so much. And the stares, the rumors. I pretend they don’t bother me, but when I’m alone, their words are sharper than any of my knives. I found this movie, stumbled on it, really… And it seems so stupid. Â So fake- but I love it. The idea of finding a world….a place […]

6/25/2013 2 comments

Overstimulating world

by idunno 3/22/2013

written by idunno

It’s easy for me to give it and think that the world works against me. I’ve had 19 years of suffering in silence, . Day after day of constantÂ disappointment, negative feedback, anxiety, confusion, and isolation. These things have all contributed to my unhealthy belief system still deeply ingrained in my mind.Â

No I’m not retarted, in fact, over the years I’ve realized I’m quite intelligent. I just feel the world a whole lot more intensely, so much that it hurts, feelings are so strong that they’re harder to change, imagine being x10 times more sensitive to everything that goes on. I easily absorb peoples energy, My […]

3/22/2013 2 comments

pathetic but true

by Kitty30 2/19/2013

written by Kitty30

I want this to stop….I’ve trawl thru sites trying to find the way out to no avail, I am a wimp, scared of pain, 34 and have attempted overdose with sleeping tablets, anti-d’s and recreational drugs, I drink yes but not to excess for I hate the hangover! pathetic but I try to be happy and just get on, it gets harder every night to stay sane….daytime is good I have my distractions, but at night when its quiet that when the brain starts telling me to get out, just do it it, once its done that is it, nothing, all gone, I want help, […]

2/19/2013 4 comments

Having an Outlet

by hopefuldreamer 1/24/2013

written by hopefuldreamer

I have no outlets to let my stress out or whatever negative thoughts I’m feeling about myself that day, what happens to me is I find distractions through: surfing the internet,watching TV,etc. and at some point everything feels like a distraction because you go to sleep with all those negative thoughts and you just bury them and the pain is still there and it and the next day the cycle repeats, and the days seem to be shorter and everything seems to be moving fast and you feel like you’re being left behind. I’ve read that with depression you lose interest in activities you once […]

1/24/2013 2 comments

What do you do when life is not enough and death is too much?

by jael85 10/8/2012

written by jael85

I do not know how I make it through each an every day.Â I am a survivor, I am strong.Â I have been through enough to make some people cringe. Â Lately though, the thoughts are returning and things have not been alright.Â They have always been there,Â but I thought I had control over them.Â I no longer do. Â I have to have distractions constantly. What do you do when you don’t have a television or a computer? I have a passion for sketching, but that doesn’t take you far away, actually I am sketching things that happened the other night, which makes it worse. I […]

10/8/2012 42 comments

Note To My Classmates

by help wanted 9/14/2012

written by help wanted

Who am i?
All of you are thinking it.
“Who is that kid?
The one that killed himself,
I think I’ve seen him before,
But I’m not sure.”
Let me put your minds at ease.
You have all seen me.
Ive always been here.

I’m the kid in the back seat of the class.
I’m the kid that you see eating lunch alone in the hall.
I’m the kid you whisper about as you walk by.
The kid that teachers never punish.
Because they’re scared of me too.
I’ve always been there,

Watching, silently.
Its funny that after only one year,
I’ve already developed my final opinions of you.
There are those of you out there that can rest easy.
My death is not […]

9/14/2012 5 comments

Is it worth going on?

by burnedoutginger 8/29/2012

written by burnedoutginger

I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder two years ago. I took drugs and went through therapy, and I did end up feeling better. But for the past 6 months or so, when I’ve been alone with just myself, I’ve been incredibly suicidal. I can’t talk to anyone about it, because they’ll just put me back in the hospital, but I’veÂ beenÂ through all that, and obviously it’s not helping anymore, if it ever did at all. When I’m around other people, I’ll generally have a good time, but as soon as all distractions are gone, I’m back to suicide. I don’t have a difficult life, I’m […]

8/29/2012 4 comments

Feeling… Lately…

by sleepxdeath 8/24/2012

written by sleepxdeath

Isolation

Anxiety

Guilty

Yet Quiet

Pushing myself Slowly

………

Distractions

Still worried

Caring but

Really

Challenging

Missing

Emptiness

Lost

Frustrated

Sad

RealityÂ I really do have too

Can’t go…

Near…

Supposed to move forward plus…

Others are happy.

Its like…

I never existed ever…

I always understood the fact where everyone always moves forward,

Abandoning others

I try so hard not to abandon other people though…

Even if i am mad,

Pissed off after we make up we still say hi and have a conversation but this time…

It will never happen.

That guilt and regret feeling.

It conqures more and more…

Each and every day again.

but at least I am starting to forget.

Starting to be self again.

Isolated

Alone

Quiet

Calm

I’m a hobbiest now.

Try something new

I will never be a princess

I shall not fall as quickly

I was a hopeless romantic

Just […]

8/24/2012 0 comment

Everyday

by ApatheticShadow 8/11/2012

written by ApatheticShadow

Everyday I think to myself: Why am I not dead yet? All of this is POINTLESS. So why bother? Maybe I could suffer through this, but I’d be SUFFERING. Everyday it’s the distractions, it’s the “what can I do to NOT think about X” – but it comes to mind anyway, stays there. All those bad thoughts make a cozy home in my mind. I question why I don’t just write up a note and go already…I’m so confused. I’m almost fed up with this “try to change” shit.

8/11/2012 3 comments

No Matter

by ApatheticShadow 8/9/2012

written by ApatheticShadow

It’s no matter. Everything, nothing. Please somehow show me how to change myself, to make things better – because so far my efforts are merely in vain. My own mind teases me – “Oh hey, you’re good, you’re great, things are going to work now!”. Give it a few days, if that, back to: “Fuck!! I hate myself! I hate all this shit! I could give TWO FUCKING SHITS about EVERYTHING! I AM DONE!”. Release the beast, the demon, the real me from its temporary hiding place, or maybe cage. Too bad, so sad – it can’t stay there.

I really don’t know what to do […]

8/9/2012 4 comments

To be, or not to be?

by flown 7/21/2012

written by flown

I want to rid myself of all my pain. JustÂ thinkingÂ about tomorrow honestly makes me sick to my stomach. It’s the most disgusting Â thing I’ve ever felt in my life, and sometimes I can’t help but think about it at night and cry, because I keep feeling it over and over again. I lie there staring into nothing, my mind wondering off into tomorrow, and I feelÂ sick.

I don’t have my friendsÂ anymore, and as cold as it sounds, they were nothing more than distractions, anyway. People that kept my mind occupied with something other than my own misery. Â Yet, I still yearn for that false reality, that […]

7/21/2012 1 comment

distracting

by fallen2far 5/11/2012

written by fallen2far

I feel this way, on again, off again.Â I’m sure other people feel it.Â I hope no one else does, but at the same time, I hope I’m not alone feeling it.Â It’s hard to describe it so I won’t right now but I’ll try to express my thoughts because of these feelings.Â Every time I feel like this, I throw myself into a distraction. Sometimes they’re classes like the piano or learning a new language. Volunteer work.Â Sometimes it’s following a sports team or being interested in a serial like a TV series. It’s shallow, very hollow, but I thought it helped. When the […]

5/11/2012 4 comments

Just babble..

by FeelingLost112 5/7/2012

written by FeelingLost112

I guess that those of you reading this have probably heard this a thousand times but i’m going to say it anyway why can’t i be normal? I see people in the streets smiling and getting on with life all happily and yet i’ve been condemned to my own personal hell. I thought that if i blamed people (such as my parents) that i would feel better as i would have someone/something to hate, give my life some sort of purpose. I fooled myself into believing i could be ‘somebody, that i could love life and seize every moment but i can’t. I’ve screwed up […]

5/7/2012 2 comments

Set a date

by triedit 4/5/2012

written by triedit

Today I set a date for checking out. I’ve chosen a method but have to do a bit more research. I’m nervous about it since I’ve tried killing myself a few times before and have bad luck and am spacey. I seem to survive strange things, like getting hit by a truck going 60 mph (I wasn’t in a car, was on the side of the road). This was not a suicide attempt–the guy was on coke and ran the car off the road–but just something that happened. I’ve also survived a savage dog attack where I got over 70 puncture wounds, lost some use […]

4/5/2012 2 comments

Just a rant..

by Wake 3/2/2012

written by Wake

I guess I thought going back to school was going to make me feel better. I thought it’d make my depression and anxiety go away and I’d be instantly better..but it didn’t. I’m still depressed and miserable, I still feel useless. I just want to be gone. The things that made me happy don’t even make me happy anymore. They’re just nice distractions, because when I really think about it, I’m not happy. I literally have no one. I just feel like a burden to my family. I know, there’s people on here that’s problems are far more worse than my own, and even now […]

3/2/2012 2 comments