When something goes wrong that you’re involved with, people blame you. You might have nothing to do with it, they might jump to conclusions based on whispers and stunted truths they’ve heard about you, or may have done something so minimal that in any other coneivable situation, no one would really give a fuck. But, you’re the one allegedly caught red handed, or the master of of everyone’s misfortune. As to whether you did tople the first domino or not, you carry the guilt and shame of always being the fuckup. It’s you who questions why you’re so useless or why you cant anything right. […]
For a while now (for as long as I can remember; 2-4 weeks.), I’ve been okay with the fact of dying. Being in the hospital a couple weeks back, I was on blood thinners and I started to bleed. Badly. Like â€œoh my god, I need a doctor in here!â€ and they needed to clean my sheets immediately. I bet they always clean sheets immediately, but I’m still saying. And most of the time I felt the liquid drip down onto my chest (my arm was on my chest when it started to bleed), I didn’t moan to my mom to get a nurse. […]
Ello. Domino speaking. Back from the hospital. And being closely monitored by a drunk dad. Hahaha. I failed once more. What is this, the 5th time? Fun.. Anyways, while I was in the hospital, I was given the ‘privilege’ of having looseleaf paper and a pencil to draw. But of course, I didn’t draw, I write. So I just slept until a dream stayed in my head, and it turned out to be one of my old memories. I feel bad for leaving you all like I did earlier, so I’m gunna type it right here for you all to know a little bit more […]
You all were right. I should’ve made my ‘man’ choose earlier. But I guess it wouldn’t matter anyways. The girl he’s been dating for two years? Apparently they were engaged since September of two years ago. “Fiance Scene” it says on her site.
I’m shaking. I’m so upset, I can’t believe it. Should I believe him?.. Honestly I feel like I really am being strung along now. And like there’s no way out. I passed out my heart way too much. And look what happens. Every single time my heart just breaks a little more. And I think that this guy was my last chance to […]
The second installment to Notepad, surprisingly. Life has just made a turn for the worse I guess.
To Whom It May Concern:
I want to die. Suffocate myself with a plastic bag. Shoot myself in the head. Or disappear in the oncoming store and freeze myself.
Because life had just gotten so hard lately. I just feel like it’s time for me to die. Sadly my whole family is currently in the living room, so I can’t do jack about it. But it won’t stop me. Just wait.. Keep waiting… Wait wait wait…
But apparently I’ve always been waiting. So I guess this is just another day in the […]
“Have you ever cheated on anyone?”
“.. Yes. I won’t hide it.”
“Would you do it again?”
“Hell no, Domino!”
“Should you ever do it again?”
“Could you tell me about it if it happens? I promise I won’t get mad. I just would like to know.”
“.. Yes, my dear.”
And with that, he signs off for the night and once again I’m left alone. Tomorrow will be the last day. Last day of suffering through my own demise from a ‘withdrawal’ of my precious need. I’ve been going on and on about how much I love him, how much I need him, how much I wish to have him […]
Since this whimsy little Domino can’t think for himself.
All remember my ‘Razor Sharp’ True Story? Basically, it’s about my cousin Hailey and my Dad purposely pissing me off by giving me headaches with smoking their pot/weed. Well, recently I figured out Hailey’s age; 19 years old. Can that change my chances of getting them arrested if I called the cops on them?
Also, Next True Story will be out by tonight.
I did it. I told him I did it. I didn’t just ‘leave him a message’ on Skype. I got up, called his ass at 2 am and spoke quietly.
“Hello? Domino, babe?”
“……………….. I told you I’d do it..”
“Do what?.. Domino are you okay?”
“I told you I’d do it. I’d–“
“Domino, did you have to call now?.. It’s 2 am…”
“…. I’d thought I’d be safe from it all..”
“… Safe from what?”
“The thoughts.. the paranoia, the facts, everything.”
“.. Domino is someone with you in the house?..”
“……………… Just me, mi amor.”
“How old am I?”
“[protection purposes, I’m not putting what I said, but I was right.]”
“Okay, so you are up, […]
Whoa boy, is it Sunday, again? It’s like this week went by so slow.
I’m not Christian, I’ll admit it. I don’t go to church, because I gave up on religion when I first tried to commit suicide when I was.. 12 I think? I can’t remember a lot. But since I’m a good little boy, I guess I can ‘offer’ up a little post from home. Just so any stuck-up Christian people that may see this don’t chew me out for ‘not going to church’ and ‘abandoning the “lord”Â ‘.
I was going to type upÂ a religious and suicidal comparison thing. But then I thought of a […]
There’s no fancy title today, unlike the Wrecked-It-Domino parody I did of Wreck-It-Ralph last update post.
But anyways, tomorrow starts the week long vacation from my computer. I’m trying to make some VERY big decisions in my life currently. Mainly, the male I’m with (Yes, MALE, not female, homophobics.) currently is going away. The thing is.. For 2 years he’s been with a young lady in Conneticut, a long distance relationship. She’s going over to his home for the next 6-7 days. For 6 months, he’s been with me as well. I’m now allowed to see him until I’m 18, or get my liscense (won’t […]
Anyone seen Wreck-It-Ralph?
Well, the title’s inspired by it.
Finals are next week. I’m barely keeping up in one class. That class has the E. The rest of them are B’s or higher. Science has never interested me much, and the only time it did was in Biology. That was the only class I liked. And then Accelarated Chemistry this year just tore my mind to shreds.
Just trying to understand the very basics of Chemistry will send me into a suicidal-crying-fit. Now it’s finals, and I still don’t understand 90% of it. I tried to get out of it before, but I couldn’t. So I just tried […]
I haven’t been here for a while. And honestly, when I came back, I wasn’t expecting much of any attention. I nearly thought this was going to be like facebook, with people saying ‘oh u shuldn’t b sad all the time u shuld b happi!’ but no.
Instead? People are supportive. Encouraging to live, not die. I was wrong about this place. Maybe this is a new leaf being turn? Or some sort of phrase like that, I don’t know..
But for those who are/may be concerned, life has gotten to a standstill. I’m neither happy nor sad on this year’s holidays. Maybe it’s for the best […]
Please? Someone tell me when I fucked up. I’m 15 going on 16 in about 6 months. I used to be happy all the time, and I felt invincible, incredible, like I couldn’t be brought down. Then recently I lose the two most important people in my life, my grandma and great grandma. They both were pretty old, yes. But I feel so bad I didn’t tell them how much I loved them more. Everything just started falling apart now. I didn’t want it to end like this…
Ever since then, everything’s been slowly moving down. I worked hard to keep myself up and hope to […]