It’s taken me my whole life to realise that have never been “happy.” I was never happy as a child, tween, and now into my teenage years, my sad feelings have developed into anxiety, anorexia, self harm, and suicidal thoughts. I turned to drug use and alcohol. I still smoke and drink a lot. I have these sleeping pills and sometimes I just hold them and think about how easy it would be to just go. I am disgusted by my body and spirit. I think sometimes, it’s not worth living if I can’t even love myself. I have been trying to like […]
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Drug Use
Hey sp. So just a little update I just returned home from my 2 week stay with my dad in Hawaii. It was absolutely beautiful and if anyone is looking for a beautiful and peaceful place to think about life definitely that is a place to visit and get your head together. Unfortunately my experience wasnt too great because of my bad relationship with my dad… He actually grabbed and shoved me after getting in my face and screaming and cussing me out. I thought he was going to actually hurt me but I got out of the house before he could physically harm me […]
Hi everyone.
This is my first and probably last post on this site. No, it’s not because I’ll be dead tomorrow. I just need to let out my feelings on here, once and only once, because I can’t do it in real life.
First off, I don’t care who’s reading this, since it’s anonymous. I’ll say that I probably can’t be considered truly suicidal anymore, because I don’t ever seriously think about suicide–it’s mostly a compulsive thing that plagues me when I’ve had a bad day. The reason I’m really here is because I’ve had so many feelings lately and no one to talk to about them, […]
Hi everyone, here is something that I wrote within the past week awhile contemplating my way out and was going to post it on another site but then got thinking about the Suicide Project. It is kind of lengthy.
Subject: Suicide thoughts; The Pros and Cons…according to me. Â 1/2/13
What circumstance(s) often lead to the act of suicide? Loss of a child? Financial problems? Marital problems? Dating problems? Depression and drug use among many other things. Old age coupled with loneliness and the every day pains that old age brings on. Is suicide truly an act of hurting oneself? In my opinion it depends a lot […]
I’m having a tough time reconciling much of anything: the numbness I feel, the suffering inflicted on me and others, the deep, penetrating emptiness I feel… It’s existentialist really; I simply can’t find an explanation for the absurdity of this mockery of a life, this incessant suffering that undercuts whatever joy I have left, or, rather, had.
I was kicked out of the house by my dad a year ago after I got into it with him over his alcoholism and my apparent laziness and moved in with my mom and stepdad; however, I left home to live on my school’s campus (it’s a boarding/day school) […]
Why bother attempting something when all it will lead to is embarrassment and worsening of the situation? When somethings fucked, you can never fix it back to 100%, so why do you try? It will never be as good as you could possibly make it.
The social problems started in middle school. Being a quiet nerd has downfalls. What’s worse was trying to break out and improve myself, only to lose the one thing I had going, which was intelligence. Giving up good marks to have a couple friends and still be bullied.
The bullying ended in 9th grade. I suppose everyone was just too weirded out by me to even […]
for about 9 or so years i had lived in a small judgmental town.. i was continuesly bullied.. to the piont where the only friend i had were the plenty of cuts on my arm… i thaught if people felf sorry for me maybe they would be nice.. stupidest mistake i ever made.. it only got worse.. i attempted cuicide and ended up in the hospital.. they all beleaved it was fake.. i went by emo, slut , cocksuking *****, druggie, crazi skitzofranic, and other.. i was suspended tree times of drug use ..and had stoped coming to school.. one day i was put in […]