After I lost my friend, I didn’t know what to do or who to turn to, I wound up joining the wrong crowd. I was always a little bit of a drinker, I mean I liked the taste. But I got a little too tipsy one night, and I wound up sleeping with this guy whose last name I still don’t even know. I wound up getting pregnant after that, but I tragically lost the baby before I could even tell anyone, including my family. I wound up spiraling down into depression and “cutting” and I was just in a funk. As soon as I […]
Tag:
Drugs And Alcohol
As of right now, I’m at the bottom of the pit. If you look at my charts, I should be doing okay. But I feel so utterly depressed. I haven’t smoked weed or cigarettes in a month, and I’m not abusing my medicine. I’m also seeing a therapist and have hung out with my friends more often. Well, my clean friends that is.
Of course there’s a dark side though. I started drinking again. It’s not a lot, but I know it’s not good for me. Honestly though, if I don’t have a piece of the old me, I fear I’ll go insane. The thing is, […]
I can’t keep from dwelling on the fact that I set myself up to be alone. I’m used to people not being there for me, but normally there’s those few people that are always there.  This time even they have drifted away. It seems like over night I slipped back into my old skin of sadness and loneliness. I thought that I had learned to be happy again. She opened up a whole new world of beauty to me. Was it a new world so sweet or was I just blinded by her sweetness? I’m so confused and numb. I’m remembering what it feels like to be alone. […]
Silently, silently.
A teen not more than fifteen,
beaten and bruised,
lost and confused.
One who does not speak out,
but runs and hides.
Silently, silently,
she yearns for the missing young girl.
A teen not more than sixteen,
parties and people,
drugs and alcohol.
One who does not admit her addictions,
but hides behind them.
Silently, silently,
she screams for help.
A teen not more than seventeen,
taken advantage of,
hurt physically and mentally.
One who does not get help,
but remains quiet.
Silently, silently,
she wishes for relief.
A teen not more than eighteen,
broken and scarred,
self inflicted harm.
One who does not think,
but continues […]
i remember when life was fun, it was exciting and adventurous. i remember as a little girl, sitting in class dreaming of growing up and travelling the world. i remember dreaming of the places i would go, and the things i would do. i remember dreaming of my career, and the love of my life. but now, i sit here in year 11. life seems to have gone so quickly, i walk through the hallways at school as a  nobody. invisible and unseen. bad thoughts running through my head, constantly. life seems to be a burden now, a task, something i must endure. yet no […]
Im 18, in November of 2012 I was in a bad car accident. I had a head on collision with a tree, as a result i mangled my leg and have and face several surgeries and a year and half of recovery. This isnt the first time ive felt like ending it all im a ex drug and alcohol abuser. After my accident I thought id have people there for me, but the people I call friends have forgotten bout me. Mostly because I cant and don’t want to party anymore, sometimes I wish I had just died that night. Recently ive also found out the sports I love That I can no longer play. I just feel lost im dabbling in drugs and alcohol again just […]
Why is it that children are not educated on mental illness? As a 4th grader I remember promising myself I would never do drugs. It was nailed into our head that we would be pressured into things like drugs, alcohol, and sex. We were taught we were at risk of giving into peer pressure, we were always taught to say no, but why weren’t we also taught that the chances of having a mental illness is extremely high before we even get out of high school? Why didn’t someone explain that when everything seems so out of control, it’s not okay to starve, it’s not […]
My whole life I’ve always thought of  myself to be this “good girl”. Like success was the only option and I was so confident that I’d get the whole “storybook” lifestyle. And I’m not someone who believes things are handed to you so I knew there would be some hardships but I just don’t think anyone should go through such constant disappointments. I think I’ve reached my limit, I’ve completely lost myself. Nothing I do makes any sense to me But I just can’t stop it. I just want to be happy, but I never can. I’ve always been a good student but I’m flunking […]
My original post of this was a little harsh, so I posted a better version of it. I’m 25, married and suffering. This is just a glimpse of what my life has been like. At age 4 I was diagnosed with Spinabifida, and then my dad died. I grew up an angry kid. As I got older I got Appendicitis and lost tons of weight. I was down to near 70 pounds when they finally got the appendix out. After months of therapy I finally healed. Everything seemed to get better and so I wanted to start a new life. I got married and moved […]
I actually took advice… I seeked help
I have wanted to die for the past several years that I can remember. Not as much for the reason of hating life; moreso the desire for all the pain around me to stop.
A sum up.. I grew up with a family who abused drugs and alcohol. Never had a real parental figure that helped me distinguish “right or wrong” or even a good sense of morals. I have had multiple relationships but all ended badly. I blame myself moreso because my first ever love had committed suicide when we were 16.
With that and a whole lot more that […]
Hi, i’m 15, I’m a girl, and I’ve been through hell. I’m a sophomore, and I know what its like to lose everyone you’ve ever had. My mom had me at 16, and starting at three years old, my mom was dating around a lot, got hip on drugs and alcohol. Both of my parents were VERY bad alcoholics. My mom was dating this guy that beat her, and made me watch, then my sister was born, I was three, taking care of a baby my mom couldn’t take care of.. We got evicted and lived in a car for a week when i was […]
Im 17 years old, im 2 and a half months pregnant.
My boyfriend (the father) is beyond ecstatic and can’t wait to see our baby brought into this world, he’s given up drugs and alcohol and has got a great job to be able to be a better dad.
His twin sister, who used to be my best friend hates me. She constantly tells him that either I’m not really oregnant or tha’t it isnt his baby. She refuses to awknowledge me and accuses me of stealing from her and their dad.
Her boyfriend, who was one of my best friends, and his bestfriend are both sociopaths and […]
well…i guess i can say it started when i was only a few years old….my parents were both drug addicts…i was in the bars with my mom and dad till my dad met my step mom when i was almost 4…for me it was normal….but then again so was buying my own food at the store, stealing money from my mom while she slept of the drugs and alcohol for the food, being used as collateral when she didnt have drug money, and being molested by her many boyfriends. then id go home to my dads, he and my mom worked alot…and did drugs so they werent always […]
i just cant stand this anymore. every day when i wake up 1st thing on my mind is wish i could blow my brains out. its been like this for about 4 years. future to me seems like lonely, very boring, long and mentally painful and im just 19 years old. nothing i can achieve can make me happy. i know i will live my entire life alone and in this same state of mind as im now. now i have a meeting whit a psygologyst i wish he will give me some drugs i could take whit large amount of other drugs and alcohol […]
Sometimes, when I answer you I ask a question of you;
If you really had a choice, how would you choose?
Or
If you had a magic wand to fix your life,
How would you wave it?
Or
If you had a switch, that you could throw, that would end your suffering without killing you, would you throw it?
Would you?
More important than discussing the possibility of such magics, is discussing your will to use them.
What good is a true solution if you won’t use it?
And is there such a switch?
Does such a choice exist?
Can you have such power over your own life?
Yes
My life is Shit. It always has been. Its been one thing after the other. I’m done. I just want to know how to hang my self passively without alot of Pain. I have some drugs and alcohol I can take to give me the courage. I just dont know how to do it from a door knob or something. What would be the easiest and quickest way. I dont want to fuck it up.
Hi, I’m a fifteen year old girl and I have been through quite a bit in my life.. I’ve been through being homeless, abused, raped, molested, bullied at school, addicted to drugs and alcoholism. I’m going through a lot at this moment as well, I need someone to talk to because all the people I know are drunks or druggies. I’m tired of being around this, I’ve been living around drunks and druggies my whole life. Now I just lost everything because of drugs and alcohol. I did try to be sober a couple of times but I just keep getting sucked back into it.. […]
When people use alcohol, marijuana, heroin, cocaine, (lean/sizzurp/codeine/etc), meth, and prescriptions to cope they are put in rehab centers or jail to stop their actions. (Yes the obvious is that most of those are illegal). They are told they should be sober and rational to decide how to live their lives.
Yet if one has soberly and rationally decided to end one’s life because one is tired of going through things, then one is told that they have a ‘mental issue’ and need a bevy of prescribed drugs to set them right. Many no safer on the body in the long term than illegal drugs and […]
 Do you know what it feels like to wake up every morning and need to cut to get up and start your day?… do u know how it feels to be rejected from your school, friends and family?.. to be ignored at home and everyone just tell me all i want is attention?… well how’s this for “just attention” … i have attempted suicide six times. tonight was my sixth time.. everyday i wake up feeling like i am useless and un important, that id be better off dead. i looke for every reason in the world to cry. i sit in cornners, write lyrics […]