If so, I’d like to know what it is. Life doesn’t seem worth it anymore. I came here out of desperation. I have nobody to share my feelings with. I am alone. I’m afraid to be close to people because they always hurt me in the end. Or maybe I’m alone because people generally do not want to be around me. “Freak,” they’ll call me, telling me how I am not worth their time. “Tell me, why haven’t you had a boyfriend? Are you lesbian?” They’ll ask me. Outraged, I deny, but they don’t believe me. It isn’t my fault nobody wants me. It isn’t […]
Tag:
Drunken State
4 years ago due to a stress induced issue during a relationship which may sound cliche but there was a large variety of issues which had piled on top of me and caused it.
i made a break attempt at well…..ending it all……obviously i cant go into details of what i did but its  a horrible thought that the only reason i woke up in hospital was because the bottle ran dry and i ran out things to swallow and i hadn’t broken the skin far enough….
Now given i was heavily inebriated when this venture occurred which didn’t help at all, i only have two memory’s from A&E firstly telling the nurse i didn’t want my family informed and […]
So I’ve never actually thought Fuck it Im going to reach out and talk about this because its just not a normal thing to do…then again nothing ever feels normal in my world and when I do express normal behaviour I feel its so put on and faked to everyone around me that they can see right through me and thus treat me different from each other. For years I’ve always kind of known I had serious pshycological issues and suicidal thoughts caused by a horrible upbringing and attempted to take my own life before I went to university. I failed….didn’t know how to o/d […]
Was drunk out of my mind last night…it was another one of my cowardly acts to try and escape reality for a couple of hours.
But I can’t get away from the thought of suicide. In a drunken state I decided to open up to a really good friend, I just dumped everything on her. She is the only person that knows Im suicidal.
I feel so guilty for dumping all my problems on her. She doesn’t deserve it. I didn’t mean to make her cry. I didn’t mean to cry. why was I so heartless?
I’m so stupid!! I don’t want her to feel guilty when […]