My name is Sarah and I am 19 years old. Since the day I formed human attraction I knew I was in a world of trouble. When I was nine years old I developed my first crush on a girl, knowing it was not socially acceptable I ignored it. I had always been a more masculine kid, preferred riding dirt bikes and rolling in the mud over pretty pink dresses. Although my family had always supported me as an individual they still leaned towards the norm. I was still forced into those pretty pink dresses as a kid. In my early teens I hit a […]
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Early Teens
I’m not sure when or how it started. Just the feeling of cracking. Like when your windshield gets hit and cracks start to spider web out further. Another thing hits and the web cracks further. And then another and another until it just breaks completely. I thought about that windshield and how it must hurt, to have those cracks, to be hit so hard like that.
Now I realize that I am that windshield.
My mother cheated on my dad and left him for my (now) step-dad when I was 6. The divorce, which was messy and grisly, was finalized a year later. I had to watch […]
Well I’ve been struggling with depression and suicide for a long time now as well as my own anger and hate of the people that bullied me my entire life in the name of their God. I have been at peace with death for a long time now and feel that it would be best and easier if I can just die peacefully. I’m waiting till I get back to my college dorm room for a couple days so I can get everything together for my family and few friends. I feel as if my emotional pain and mental illness are unbearable no matter what […]