I have been having anxiety attacks since I was six years old. When I was 12 I had my first episode of major depression and at 13 made my first plan to kill myself. At 16 I was diagnosed with clinical depression and at 19 I was hospitalized for 2 weeks. Around the age of 30 I had clinical anxiety added to my diagnosis of long term depression. Now I’m nearly 40 and the pain never ends. Sometimes it recedes enough that I can laugh but I’m never really happy. The latest episode of major depression started four months […]
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Electric Shock
The round colorful combination is deadly
Tomorrow this will all be through.
Finally an end to my torment
They’d understand if only they knew
Raising the glass and I open my hand…
The thoughts of loved flash through my head
I drop the pills to the floor
It’d kill tomorrow if today I was dead.
Upstairs working on the computer
An electric shock as I look at the plug
The reaction is deadly assisted with water
rising my little brother  tackles me with a hug.
I sit back down grimace him a smile.
I can’t kill myself infront of my brother
He’d be dissappointed if he knew this is all he had for a sister
I could not bear his […]