I don’t think I am that messed up of a person. But right now all I want is to go to sleep and never wake up. The root of the problem is that I am lonely. You see, all I ever wanted was a wife and children. I know, it sounds lame, but it is true. But that won’t happen. I came close, once, years ago. But two months before our wedding, she broke it off, because “God told her to”. since then, I have tried again, but I’ve never felt a connection to anyone. And I know that as far as problems go, that […]
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Empty Apartment
My whole life I’ve been told that I was smart. Smart enough to do anything I wanted. I would be the one in the family to go the furthest and make everyone proud. Well, here I am, about to fail my first class in grad school. There’s no way out of it now, save death. The final is Monday, and I know nothing. Every time I try to study I look blankly at the slides for about a half hour, then cry for an hour, then I’m so exhausted all I want to do is take a shower and go to sleep. Everywhere I turn […]
That is how I feel. I can’t believe I’m actually at a site like this but it’s getting worse. I’ve long felt I was depressed (my entire life), but this is the first time I’ve actually called it quits. I love life and the experiences of living, I just hate my own life and would wish it upon nobody. I think the only reason why I haven’t succeeded in killing myself is because of one relative in my life.  I have to outlive them. But once they go, my expiration will be soon after. Probably the same day.
There is absolutely nothing wrong in my life with the […]