Everyone around me, who calls themselves my friend never feels like they are being true. I always doubt the verity of such a word and thus i save them for those who truly earn it. I always fear the people who smile at you face and stab you in the back. I do not believe that someone who is that easily persuaded against my will regardless of how petty this may be, someone who will insult me and side easily with someone who I JUST literally JUST like five seconds ago introduced them to. Or the most painful recent experience. Some fucktard whose name was […]
It’s the ultimate revenge, the ultimate statement upon this sick, delusional, worthless farce known as humanity. Life is so very overrated. Everything we think we know is bullshit. Everything is a delusion. Dreams. Success. Love. Charity. Compassion. These are all illusions that hide the craving for disease and evil humanity promotes and chases. To end one’s life is the ultimate finger in the face of all these delusional lemmings. To end one’s life is the ultimate statement of awareness. It tells the universe that you see through the lies, see through the bullshit, and no longer want to drink the Kool-Aid anymore. It is only […]
my mother’s father was the village principal. Our family was a prominent, priviledged and respected family in the village. We were also religiously devout. We gave a lot of money to the temple and helped build temples, schools, etc. Somebody distorted the truth about my family and has belittled my family down to ANTICHRISTIANS. They made all the other tamil ppl laff at my mother’s suffering in Canada and my family’s looks and other bad things. THEY SAID WE ARE ENEMIES OF CHRIST. THIS is JUST MY FAMILY and FAMILY LINE. HE USED ME BADLY AGAINST THE GLORIFICATION OF THE MUSLIM RACE. I DO NOT […]
My family hates me and I hate them.
I have no job.
I have 1 friend, but I am rapidly bringing her down to my level.
My purpose in life just got smashed. I realized it’s a lie and I’ve wasted my entire life on it.
I am not afraid of death. Death is the only thought that comforts me.
If there is a god, I want to meet it so I can kick its ass.
I am in physical pain 24hours/day from an accident.
My insurance runs out soon and I won’t get any more physical therapy or pain meds.
I am getting evicted […]
since i can remember i have never been happy. i have amazing parents. my father is a state bridge inspector and my mother is a high school history teacher. my dad is older, from an older time and can be a real hardass sometimes, i know he always means well. my mom on the other hand is my hero, the best person i have ever known hands down. i couldnt count the number of people i have met through out the years that have told me, most of the time random people, that have told me that my mom has changed their lives. i have […]
I am not skinny. I am not fat. I am not pretty. I am not ugly. I am not mean. I am not nice. I am not popular. I am not unpopular. I am not weird. I am not normal. I am not social. I not quiet. I am not liked. I am not disliked. I am not happy. I am not angry. I only identify as one thing; sad. That’s it. Why? I am tired. I am sick (recently diagnosed with heart problems). I have no real friends left. I have no caring family. Why? I never did anything, to anyone. I used to […]
I have been holding on for too long and I am slipping. I have no one up top to reach down and grab me, pull me up; and I have no one to catch me when I fall. I was once on the edge now I am dangling and ready to fall. I thought I could handle the weight of the world, fight on towards my future until the day I die. But I can’t. The world is depressing even-though there is so much fun around. I am so heart-broken even though I have friends, family, and a boyfriend who love me dearly. You may […]
I used to joke that even if you lose everything …your money, your friends, your self respect… you always have sleep. That’s not even true. The nightmares, replays of each horrible day, are worse than my days. Sleep, once my only savior, is now just another one of my cruel enemies beating me down at every opportunity.
So each day I grit my teeth and wait for it to be over, and each night I lie awake waiting for the sun to come up. There is no escape from my diseased mind, except to blast it into 1000 pieces. God bless gunpowder.
whatever ill use the tags in the title general rant, but one more fucking day and i am done with this bullshit and turning out the fucking lights.
theres nothing i can say or do is there? well it wouldnt matter if you said yes or no bec it doesnt change the fact that there is nothing i can ever say or do that is the right thing- i thought I was doing the right thing and now i have no idea about anything really. even though my life was screwy I had these constants that were just there…certainties that I thought well if this ship goes down at least these things will still be around. at least i have this or at least i have that. reality checkÂ you dont have anything […]
I forgot to tell many shitty things on my last post, like… I was really depressed bcuz many friends left me, and i chose to give my gf a better life in exchange for hell for myself. so i decided to go to a party with people i knew and the other 600 or something. late that night, i was real happy, not drunk, just a little bit dizzy. and it was reeealy cold outside, hey its norway:P but on the way i heard yelling, and i was like, god no, why… so i turned around and saw two elder boys come at me and […]
Words and whispers I can’t get to leave my head
The voices call; they want me dead
The asylum grows closer as I grow colder and the threat of pills stays my hand’s blade
One more mistake is all it takes to send me back, and kill my hopes of moving forward.
Â My school work, my Â job, it’ll all be over.
Â Medicines will consume me, taking over my mind.
No longer will I find pleasure in writing lines or playing rhythms, the ability lost in the crusade of science and therapy.
Trust will be dismissed, me reverting to the life of a prisoner for two weeks then a man on probation for […]
So… My main problem in life isn’t that of feeling left out, not that I don’t fit in although both of those are very much good reasons to be depressed. Anyways, my problem lies in my relationship, not with it but about it. I have kept a sort of diary or blog type thin on my phone over the nearly 3 years and as you read them from start to finish you see it go from sweet and cute to doom and gloom. Now I am a 16 Year Old male and I am extremely unhappy in which I sometimes result into self – harming. […]
Hello guys, (edit: why is my post all written in green? its hard to read :S highlighting the text with your mouse helps)
I’ve been thinking about suicide pretty much my entire life. This is going to be quite straight up but bear with me. First, let’s talk a bit about myself so you now a little bit more about who’s writing this.
I am now 23 years old, on my last year of university here in Quebec, Canada. I’ve been studying marketing since I’ve always been really good at selling and customer service. My real passions, however, are sports, videogames and marijuana. Yes, marijuana. I won’t […]
Could this help anyone?
After a head injury one feels troubled for many years and ones thoughts can be dark.
A therapist was explaining to me that one needs to redirect ones thoughts and make new brain patterns or ones thoughts keep going to the same dead end of negativity.
She said just do one thing a day to start.
If you can start by one little step at time to start redirecting ones thoughts thats helping to make a new pattern – a new future for you.
She explained thoughts like sheep trails which often lead no where – so negative thoughts take us to dead ends and […]
From what ive read here, my life is the best life on earth, but it isnt.
When i was 5 my parents sent to a special school, for smart children. Every year i begged them to get me out of it, but they didnt. I was a smart kid, one of the best in my class, but i never really fit in to it, they all wanted to study, since we were 5, and become doctors, scientists and so, i never did, i always wanted to perform, to dance, but my dad always laughed at me and my mom joined him so my confidence got really […]
This isn’t just goodbye
This is I can’t stand you
This is where the road crashed into the ocean
It rises all around me
And now we’re barely breathing
A thousand faces we’ll choose to ignore
Curse my enemies forever
Let’s slit our wrists and burn down something beautiful
This desperation leaves me overjoyed
With fading lights that lead us past the lives that we destroy
I listen to you cry
A cry for less attention
But both my hands are tied
And I’m pushed into the deep end
I listen to you talk but talk is cheap
And my mouth is filled with […]
Death is a blessing.
Death is like the night. We hide from it, postpone it as long as possible, shun the darkness, but in the end it is inevitable.
We fear it, but it will forever stalk our waking hours, haunt out most sinister nightmares.
Grief, perhaps, is worse.
Grief is what is left behind for the living to deal with.
It is what will make two enemies allies, what can make love turn to hate.
Grief is the most astonishing of pain, and we see it everyday, in some shape or form.
Maybe you just broke up with your beloved. Maybe you just lost […]
I must sound foolish and stuff but I am 13 years old. I am very suicidal and emo and i do cut myself. I honestly do not see what my purpose in life is.. All my friends have betrayed me and all my enemies have overcome me.. The lies have become reality.. My family ignores myÂ existence.. I will not go on.. I have been bullied for many years…but when i tell my parents.. my dad yells that im a ***** and my mother ignores me.. my grandparents hate me..i’ve been mollested 4 times.. 2 by a cousin, 1 time by a man and 1 time […]
How absolutely sick is it that I find comfort and safety on a site that people tell you about how they want to die? Oh now you are probably thinking to yourself, well itâ€™s probably because you need to know that there are others like you. Yes thatâ€™s right I have a logical mind. I am not mad at you, whoever you is, Iâ€™m mad at me, for being me, but then for being mad at me, because I know how it is more for a lot of people with personality disorders, except I feel what I should feel, then have not the feelings […]